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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teaching isn't compatible with parenting

479 replies

treehugga · 03/04/2011 17:06

So you think there are short days and long holidays, well hollow laugh! Am I the only teaching 'widow'? My DP seems to spend all of his evenings and weekends working, which doesn't make me a smiley mummy this Mother's Day after yet another day of sole childcare while lessons get planned, reports written and whatever-else for the little darlings. Some mitigating points:

  • when he's not working, he's usually great at domestic stuff and for this reason I count myself lucky
  • he is a perfectionist
  • I know one other teacher (who also works ridiculous hours) but maybe he's just avoiding family life.
So, put me straight, am I the only one or are there more?
OP posts:
LookToWindward · 07/04/2011 22:25

" I merely mentioned it because she herself made that comment again. I was pointing out that it was in fact Not True."

Well no. I offered an opinion (actually my DHs opinion). You offered yours. I don't consider one to be "right" and one to be "wrong", just different interpretations.

I personally think that if teachers wish their choice of career to be seen in the same standing as other professions then they really stop their more strident members whinging about what is frankly pretty normal for most people who work in virtually any other kind of professional occupation.

Speaking as a police officer who has in the dim and distant past worked some pretty atrocious shifts and has worked more public holidays than I care to remember I think that /some/ members of the teaching profession need to get a grip.

You probably disagree with the above. Such is life.

FunnysInTheGarden · 07/04/2011 22:27

Thanks. And if any teacher, or anyone else for that matter wants to get into a I work harder than you spat, I can beat you all hands down. Not now you understand, i have DC to think about. But in a previous life, I challenge anyone to beat me for hours.............! Seriously. 36 weeks pregnant and working 9am - 4am the next day, then back in for 9am. All office work, no time out, for weeks on end. Lovely it was Grin

mitochondria · 07/04/2011 22:28

Funnys - what sort of job was that? Is that even allowed?

scottishmummy · 07/04/2011 22:32

know architects and designers who put in 9am-4am for deadlines

FunnysInTheGarden · 07/04/2011 22:36

It was Law/Trust work for a global offshore law/trust firm. I am a lawyer but did trust admin for a bit and both the trust admin side and the law side regularly had to do 'midnight completions' which meant about 6 solid hours of work either side of midnight to complete the deal.Contributing into and out of Real Estate Unit Trusts. Prob not legal in terms of working hours, but this is the CI you are talking about. No overtime, you did it because you had to. Teacher type wage too! At the time 6 years ago I was earning £45kpa

minxofmancunia · 07/04/2011 22:38

I do think the real reason people have beef with teachers moaning is because of the disproportionate amount of holidays they get INCLUDING working outside school hours. Yes it's tough but you get double the amount of paid holidays.

I could be even harsher and point out that NQTs and newly qualified nurses get a similar wage maybe teachers a bit more, nurses get 5 weeks a year hol and teachers get 13. And nurses do PLENTY of unpaid OT. And no it's not family friendly you have to work shifts and bank holidays which add up to a lot of unfriendly family time.

FunnysInTheGarden · 07/04/2011 22:38

This was week in week out for a few years. There was a team, so we took it in turns. Not a deadline, just normal JPUT work.

scottishmummy · 07/04/2011 22:39

yes and of course lawyers,they work v demanding schedules

EvilTwins · 07/04/2011 22:51

I am a teacher. State secondary. We're in special measures, which means MASSES of work. I'm HoD (small dept, mind) and have recently been made Head of Sixth Form as well. I see plenty enough of my children. DH is a Management Consultant, and I would say that we do about the same amount of work in the evenings (some days loads, some days none, some days a bit) Difference is, he earns 3x what I earn. But then, I get lots more holidays.

It's a choice. I chose teaching. And I chose to go back full time (recently - DDs started school this year) I hate the moaning, and completely agree that teachers do loads of it. DH reckons that the collective noun for a group of teachers should be a "whinge"...
It's also about priorities. I teach with a fabulous woman, 24, no boyfriend or kids. Her classroom is immaculate, her resources and beautiful and her lessons are planned to the minute. My classroom is a mess, but I would rather come home and spend a couple of hours with my kids before their bedtime than stay at school and create gorgeous displays. I watch less TV now, but that's my choice -my own family is more important to me than my job.

BTW, minx, we teachers always like to point out that actually, our holiday's aren't paid. The salary we get is for our working days. Then it's spread out across 12 months. A supply teacher gets paid more in a day than a regular teacher, because a supply teacher doesn't get paid in August (or at other times schools are closed) If a supply teacher worked every day in a school year, he/she would get the same amount of money as a regular teacher, just in bigger, albeit less regular, chunks.

And Funny - £45k a "teacher type wage?" I've been teaching for 13 years, and even with that and my two responsibilities, I'm nowhere near that. Perhaps you need to swat up on what teachers earn

EvilTwins · 07/04/2011 22:53

Upper Pay Scale

lecce · 07/04/2011 22:56

*LtW You 'think ' your dh teaches maths Hmm seriously, you don't know what he teaches?

If he does then that would explain why his work load would be light compared to subjects that generate a lot of marking. Presumably someone with a 'great brain' like his would realise this and not claim they had to work more hours than him due to being 'incompetent'?

Caz10 · 07/04/2011 22:56

Was about to add my ho ho ho to the 45k "teacher type wage" - I wish!!!

mitochondria · 07/04/2011 22:59

I'd like 45k too. But not the 9am - 4am the next morning hours!

FunnysInTheGarden · 07/04/2011 23:09

well here in CI a teacher earns £45k plus for MPS. Maybe it is different on the 'mainland'

LookToWindward · 07/04/2011 23:11

Maths and something else similar I think, though from what I can gather most of his work is related to "pastoral services". I'd ask him but he's out for the evening and I don't care enough to find out - I'm just happy he's not working himself in to the ground anymore.

Caz10 · 07/04/2011 23:19

CI - Channel Islands? I might move!

A good 10k less here, but then I am not promoted.

I have worked in private industry before moving to teaching, and did all the long hours, travel, silly deadlines etc - it is just as hard but in a totally different way. My daily hours at work are less now I would say, but that is down to having DD. But I never ever experienced this feeling of always working that I have now, downtime then was proper downtime when you switched off and recharged - now I am likely to be marking while I supposedly switch off!

LDNmummy · 07/04/2011 23:33

But thats exactly why I am giving her air pie, it isnt me being touchy. If you are not familiar with what it is, it is when you opt to not acknowledge what someone is saying as it seems inconsequential. In other words, I am choosing to take it as "words on a screen" and can't be bothered to argue with her about it, so actually doing the opposite of being touchy, I am actually opting out of being upset over it IYSWIM. Air pie is as lighthearted as the name suggests and is usually used as a term for banter.

And just to be clear, Scottishmummy has her opinion as do I. But saying I cannot see beyond my point of view is not what is happening here. It is the fact that she is insistently attempting to pick apart evey minor thing I say. She is also challenging the things I say without understanding what I am saying and then when I call her up on it, she refuses to give a clear reasoning as to why she stated something.

Oh and scottishmummy I did not use the term airhead although I did use dunce. And it was my opinion, does it irritate you? I thought it was just words on a screen? Besides, I was responding to the sarcasm employed on here which I find if someone uses as a reflex to retort too frequently, shows an element of incompitency to communicate without resorting to insulting and base wit. So I responded on par IMO.

scottishmummy · 07/04/2011 23:40

kissy kissy i love your widdle feetie stampie posts

even the gratuitous use of bold

no hard feelings frm me treacle.mwaw mwaw.

LDNmummy · 07/04/2011 23:41

air pie

LDNmummy · 07/04/2011 23:41

and lol

scottishmummy · 07/04/2011 23:44

do your air kiss or just air pie.perhaps i could offer you a glasgow kiss

LDNmummy · 08/04/2011 00:01

So anyway, to clarify as I probably was not clear enough before, my point wasn't that teachers work harder than anyone else, it was that they are undervalued regardless. Education is a fundamental part of civil society and one of its backbones. Its one of the most important parts of human history and there was a time when it was very prized. Nowadays education is not seen for its value in the same way.

My issue wasn't that educator's definitely have the hardest job or should have the right to whinge and moan over everything, it was that if someone chooses to have a moan about the demanding strictures of their profession, it doesn't seem fair to me that people will jump on it and try and shut them down. I think the fact that the OP's original post has been skewed into a thread on moaning teachers and the legitimacy of their right to moan is evidence of this. The OP came on here to ask advice on her particular situation and did not imply anything about teaching, she was asking an earnest question, yet look at the outcome.

All jobs are hard in their own way or have their drawbacks.

But teachers do work hard, it is a demanding job. A good point has been made several times and I feel, overlooked. Teaching jobs are all different, even I stated very early on that I was talking about this from the perspective of someone who's partner is a teacher in an inner city secondary school. He teaches English too which makes a difference and the amount of work he puts in to bring him up to next to outstanding status by ofsted ranking also makes a difference. There are lots of variables. But the conditions of teaching make it somewhat different, as are many public sector jobs. The constant interaction with young people and members of the public is one factor. You don't just go in and teach and plan lessons and finish for the day, you are also dealing with young people, many with problems at home or behavioural problems. Some have emotional and psychological problems too and you are dealing with this day in and day out. So there is not only the working aspect but the emotional input that comes with a teaching job.

In short, there are a lot of variables too, but on the whole, teaching is invaluable to us as a society and I do feel that it deserves more recognition than it gets. That doesn't mean treating teachers like royalty, but just understanding that if teachers want to have a moan, they shouldn't be jumped on about it but should just be given enough respect to let them have a moan. Or if they are just talking about the demands of the job as on this thread, not to define it as an unjustified moan "because other jobs are equally if not harder", no one is disputing that.

Anyways... Spech over [humble courtsey] Grin

LDNmummy · 08/04/2011 00:02

Speech not spech, I almost got to the end of that with no obvious mistakes damnit!

scottishmummy · 08/04/2011 00:07

clamber down from that pulpit,you are mighty evangelical and live a little girl.we all have it haaard.and some online tittle tattle with relives the stress,and doesn't waken the kids or frighten pets,and its funny

desperatelyseekingsnoozes · 08/04/2011 00:17

It totally depends on the schoo you teach in. I am in meetings or working with students from 8 every morning and am running a club, in a meeting or running extra classes until 5 pm. Most of our staff are in school for 7:30 am and leave about 6pm. Most if us are taking boxes of work home. We certainly do more than 45-50 hours.

I find it hard, although I lack the stamina that most of my colleagues have. The holidays give us time to unwind and prepare for the next stint.

I am not moaning just saying how it is. As soon as I sensed I was moaning I looked for another job. Teaching is afterall a choice.