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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teaching isn't compatible with parenting

479 replies

treehugga · 03/04/2011 17:06

So you think there are short days and long holidays, well hollow laugh! Am I the only teaching 'widow'? My DP seems to spend all of his evenings and weekends working, which doesn't make me a smiley mummy this Mother's Day after yet another day of sole childcare while lessons get planned, reports written and whatever-else for the little darlings. Some mitigating points:

  • when he's not working, he's usually great at domestic stuff and for this reason I count myself lucky
  • he is a perfectionist
  • I know one other teacher (who also works ridiculous hours) but maybe he's just avoiding family life.
So, put me straight, am I the only one or are there more?
OP posts:
mitochondria · 05/04/2011 22:03

Funnybumblebee - I'm on holiday!
Grin

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 22:06

echt a matter of concern you think only teachers (or their partner) can opoine on teaching

haha can you imagine mn,if only those employed in a profession,or their partners were able to post.how self serving and sycophantic would that be

imagine the estate agent thread
"my dh is estate agent he works soooo hard,is so honest and oozes integrity.he works so hard for tenants and sellers"

all the affirmative, yes you are so right.spot on.and la la la you dont know what it is like to anyone who says owt else

FunnyBumbleBee · 05/04/2011 22:08

I'm on maternity leave but went to school for a KIT day today.When chatting with deputy head he said "When did you go on holiday?" I hope he didn't really mean it!!

ilovesooty · 05/04/2011 22:09

This thread seems to have several people on it who know all about teaching...cos of course, they've been to school...

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 22:12

ilovesooty - that's the problem. Everyone has an opinion on it. Not an informed opinion, in some cases.

I could tell you about being an estate agent, because I bought a house once.

CurrySpice · 05/04/2011 22:16

Not one single person has said teachers are layabouts. Not one.

People have said that other people work long hours too ie commenting on their own jobs, not on teachers'

This has been taken as an implicit criticism of teachers

I reapeat. Nobody has dissed teachers on this thread

I'm losing the will to live repeating myself Hmm

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 22:16

is informed opinion same as must be a teacher or their missus to post?

ilovesooty · 05/04/2011 22:20

Informed opinion is knowing what it's like to do the job or living with someone who does.

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 22:26

No SM, you could be the caretaker or secretary in a school Grin

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 22:26

aha so its the worker or the missus who constitutes informed opinion

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight because they are going to be impartial, and emmm not prone to hyperbole or poor me me/us us

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 22:27

It's like me going on as if I know what its like to be a surgeon because I have had surgery.

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 22:28

Informed opinion means having been in a situation where you have had close and prolonged contact with someone in the profession from behind the scenes for instance.

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 22:28

I still don't think I'd go onto a thread titled "is being a doctor compatible with parenting" and offer my opinion. How would I know?

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 22:29

im off to get cuppa and settling right down to this

love the informed opinion is the worker or those close to them

priceless, will the teacher's mammie be posting soon about what a hard job her wee maximus has. comesy gran?uncle?or just immediate family and teachers

you couldn't make this up

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 22:30

scottishmummy - just out of interest - what do you do? I'd like to offer my opinion on your job.

ilovesooty · 05/04/2011 22:31

I was wondering that as well.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 22:33

my job?its a piece of piss anyone can do it.read it on mn.so must be true.

googoomama · 05/04/2011 22:33

Your school is poerating in a parallel universe to mine Bumblebee. My friends in secondary all seem to be slightly more relaxed in that if they need to go somewhere they can do logical things like swap lessons or they are allowed cover. In small schools there isn't the larger budget of big secondaries (we have 160 kids 9-13 year olds) so getting any time off is somewhat fraught. Plus my boss is unique in her man/woman management skills...

googoomama · 05/04/2011 22:34

operating, even

CurrySpice · 05/04/2011 22:35

Crikey! If only people who actually knew about things were allowed to post on stuff here, the site would be dead in 24 hours! Wink

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 22:39

Curryspice - PR, right? You did say it annoyed you when people assume they know what your job is like on the basis of watching AbFab.
Can you see it might be equally annoying when people assume they know what teaching is like when they haven't actually had a go at it?

A very long time ago, the OP was asking if other teachers / partners of teachers were finding the workload too much, or was it just her.

"other jobs are hard too, you know" is true, but not terribly helpful.

DebiTheScot · 05/04/2011 22:40

Oh my goodness, I can't believe how much this has kicked off! I really don't think it's worth getting so stressed out about!

My only addition (I commented a couple of times before it went crazy!) is that those of you who get time off easily for things like nativity plays are so lucky. We'd never be allowed that. And even if we could just do a favour for someone else in the dept it wouldn't really work when most don't have kids. And we're short staffed so everyone's on min nu,ber of 'free' periods anyway.

And on presents- I've had a couple from secondary kids but not many. But a PE teacher at my school is about to leave and has been given several cards, chocolates and a hoody with the names of all the netball team on the back. Even though it's not me getting the presents, that's why I teach! 1 thing like that makes it all worth it.

OP- hopefully your dh can be persuaded to work less hard esp when your 2nd child comes. And if not, hopefully you'll get used to it!

CurrySpice · 05/04/2011 22:45

I do mitochondria . I said so myself a few pages back!

And I haven't assumed one damn thing about teachers' jobs Angry

I will C&P myself from the last page in case anyone missed it Hmm

"For the 84th time, I will say that teachers are, mostly, hard-working and do a great job."

I cannot understand why me saying other people work hard is being interpretted as a criticism of teachers. I truly can't understand why you are being so obtuse Shock

I'm sorry you didn't find my contribution useful. I thought I was making a valid point about how hard it is for many parents working FT in whatever job. I didn't realise this was not relevent and that the OP merely wanted teachers and their OHs to come on and agree with her!

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 22:49

"And I haven't assumed one damn thing about teachers' jobs"

Apparently teachers get limitless praise in the form of cards and the like Hmm

googoomama · 05/04/2011 22:54

Well, to respond to the OP, I think we can conclude that everyone works hard and working life in general can often be a bit difficult if you are a parent. And teaching is no different to any other job - it has its plus and minus points, as all jobs do.
And I, for one, think that people in PR are, mostly, hard-working and do a great job Grin