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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teaching isn't compatible with parenting

479 replies

treehugga · 03/04/2011 17:06

So you think there are short days and long holidays, well hollow laugh! Am I the only teaching 'widow'? My DP seems to spend all of his evenings and weekends working, which doesn't make me a smiley mummy this Mother's Day after yet another day of sole childcare while lessons get planned, reports written and whatever-else for the little darlings. Some mitigating points:

  • when he's not working, he's usually great at domestic stuff and for this reason I count myself lucky
  • he is a perfectionist
  • I know one other teacher (who also works ridiculous hours) but maybe he's just avoiding family life.
So, put me straight, am I the only one or are there more?
OP posts:
FlaminGreatGallah · 05/04/2011 21:08

Being told to do an unpaid course for which I had to find childcare out of my own unpaid pocket is usual is it? I doubt that would happen in many other careers. Being forced out of my job because of it?

I suppose it was my fault for not properly standing up and fighting it but my baby wasn't even a year old and I was a lone parent with debt from exH. running on the spot to keep from falling down so to speak.

Oh and I was told by Senior Management and the HT that because I had a teaching qualification I would never be able to claim benefits. Don't you just love that Catholic School ethos? Grin

itsalarf · 05/04/2011 21:08

Scottishmummy. I agree with you, there are jobs with worse conditions etc etc, but the question was "is teaching incompatible with family life", and so people are responding with their informed thoughts. Don't see the problem with that tbh.

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 21:09

Yes scottishmummy I am a little dense unfortunately. Would you mind pretty please answering the question's without the need for paraphrasing??

Original poster
treehugga · 05/04/2011 21:10

I think you 2 need to sit separately.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 21:12

larf,by all means good to share anecdotes and pov but do expect some riposte too. rather than suggestion one can only opine on teaching if
1.actually a teacher
2,or married to one/shacked up with one

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 21:12

I actually loughed out loud then treehugga. Sorry for veering of OP, glad to hear things are settled with you.

Lookandlearn · 05/04/2011 21:15

Mitochondria, I think you hit the nail on the head. Thinking back on any tough things I've done, not just teaching, it's the people who belittle things or suggest you've got it easy that provoke me to moan. And with all the other tough professions, it seems there is either large financial reward, or an acknowledgement that they are tough either due to lack of financial reward or the conditions. I bet teachers would moan a lot less without the "aren't the hold fab?" things people say. I think one of the key reasons why dh doesn't feel the need to moan is that almost without exception the people who surround us are either teachers or seem to respect what we do. Therefore we find ourselves doing the opposite of moaning. One friend in teaching however even gets her partner telling get how good she's got it.

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 21:16

laughed not loughed, not sure how you lough Grin

FlaminGreatGallah · 05/04/2011 21:16

Roffle at treehugga.

AbigailS · 05/04/2011 21:18

Couldn't agree more Lookandlearn.

CurrySpice · 05/04/2011 21:20

LDNmummy, thanks for calling me dense. Nice Hmm

Sorry I didn't realise you weren't a teacher. Not being as all-bloody knowing as you, I assumed by the great authority with which you were pontificating posting, that you were a teacher yourself!

I have not had a pop at teachers. I have merely had the audacity to post that teachers are not alone in working long hours in difficult jobs.

Go back and read what I have put.

For the 84th time, I will say that teachers are, mostly, hard-working and do a great job. Are you actually reading the bits where I've said that?

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 21:23

Goodness you are hypocrytical about rudeness curryspice.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 21:25

most vocational jobs are misunderstood and ripped into on mn/internet

health visitor are a mn perennial for derision (im not a hv btw).so pretty much many jobs are misrepresented and sniggered at.this notion that teachers are more misunderstood isnt so

and teaching holidays do make it compatible with family life,more so than jobs with less hols and the expense and hassle of finding childcare during hols.

i dont dispute teaching is a hard,demanding full on job.it is.like many others are too

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 21:27

"this notion that teachers are more misunderstood isnt so"

I don't think anyone including myself has said that. Again you are seeing what you want to as opposed to what is actually being said. And still failing to answer two simple questions.

Says it all IMO.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 21:32

LOL cut&paste,now i know you are desperate and scrapping barel

you have had your answers-clearly not to your satisfaction,but answers you have had

CurrySpice · 05/04/2011 21:37

I was sarcastic. Not rude.

If I were being rude, believe me, I would have been a hell of a lot ruder than that Wink :o

LDNmummy · 05/04/2011 21:49

Sarcasm is rude, the lowest form of wit in fact Wink

Why does cut and paste of a statement mean I am scraping the barrel? Hmm

Pleas, please, please highlight your answers to me, I already told you how dense I am, would be very grateful. Or at least give a direct answer, not one consisting of how you have already stated how hard teachers work, because that is not what I asked. Or was it...? Confused

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 21:54

3 wee humphy faces,you're on a roll of indignation.

CurrySpice · 05/04/2011 21:55

sighs

itsalarf · 05/04/2011 21:55

This is really going on and on now! Perhaps we need some experimentation. In a few weeks, someone needs to post something along the lines of "nurses/social workers/doctors/accountants do nothing, have it easy, earn too much, could not think of anything else to do, stand around and eat biscuits". We can see if they will start moaning and defending themselves too! If they don't we will know it is only teachers who whine. Grin

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 21:59

indeedy i have discussed that hv/gp/sw get pasted on mn all the time. not much need to wait. someone will be along shortly no doubt to set record straight no doubt- and it is no biggie.cant expect plaudits for doing your job.nice maybe but not mandatory

echt · 05/04/2011 21:59

It's a matter of deep concern that some folk just can't read the OP.

Or is it won't?

Do try harder. It's so important to think.

FunnyBumbleBee · 05/04/2011 22:00

What we really need is some nice production company to make a TV series about people swapping jobs and we can all volunteer!

FunnyBumbleBee · 05/04/2011 22:01

Oh, but, echt we haven't got time to think- we're too busy planning and marking!

P.S. If teachers are so busy, how come we've all got time to mumsnet??! Wink

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 22:02

In terms of getting time off for things - I think there is more chance in secondary than primary, as there is an understanding among colleagues that we'll cover for each other. My HoD took a lesson for me so I could go to nativity, I returned the favour so she could visit her mum on her 80th birthday.

scottishmummy - I've seen threads about hvs, but never one that says they think it would be an easy job to do, based on the fact that they've visited one. I wouldn't assume on the basis of a few trips to baby clinic to have a good understanding of their workload.