Teaching isn't compatible with parenting

[treehugga]

So you think there are short days and long holidays, well hollow laugh! Am I the only teaching 'widow'? My DP seems to spend all of his evenings and weekends working, which doesn't make me a smiley mummy this Mother's Day after yet another day of sole childcare while lessons get planned, reports written and whatever-else for the little darlings. Some mitigating points:

• when he's not working, he's usually great at domestic stuff and for this reason I count myself lucky
• he is a perfectionist
• I know one other teacher (who also works ridiculous hours) but maybe he's just avoiding family life.

So, put me straight, am I the only one or are there more?

FunnyBumbleBee - I have never felt the need to watch EastEnders. I suppose I could if I wanted to.

"I haven't said teachers don't work hard. I haven't said they don't do a good job. I was pointing out that lots of people find working full time to be incompatible with patenting"

No but you have come up with some stupid assumptions about the job, as if all teachers get little presents and its all smiles so I wanted to illustrate to you the realities of teaching and the fact that unlike other mainstream jobs, it can be especially demanding of a person. You also made an example of nursing and I was explaining to you that teaching is a backbone of society and should not be taken as lightly as you have made it out because without it there wouldn't be newly qualified nurses each year to begin with. I outlined all this because I think you take teaching to be like most other demanding jobs when in reality, some jobs carry way more responsibility than people like you give them credit for.

Scottishmummy good teachers are usually always doing something work related during their holidays anyway. The summer holiday is great but in reality teachers actually have work to do during this period and way before the kids return for the actual school year. Half term and shorter holiday's are full of catching up with back dated work and prepping for the following week. But the summer holiday is good for giving some resbite and it is definitely needed and appreciated.

Okay, two teachers in our house. One senior management in secondary school, one working a few days supply here and there. Would not change jobs. Appreciate the holidays. Appreciate the pay. Work extremely hard (dh-mine isn't very hard apart from the stress involved in being the supply teacher but all left behind.) I never felt undervalued once in my job when full time, except by fool father of one of my friend's who had no time for teachers. He was an arrogant fool for more reasons than that. Dh manages time and stress well. He does work longer hours for less pay than some of our friends who also acknowledge the fact that he works harder than they do. but he is unlikely to be made redundant. So whilst I react badly internally to the few who still think it's nine til three ( no one we know, they know the reality) there are many situations in my life people fail to understand. It's not worth the fight. But family friendly-not so much. If we both worked full time in teaching our children would be taken to school by childminders on their first days, no one would ever go to their sports days. We are hugely fortunate to have long holidays, so never face that problem and the return cost of the length is the complete lack of flexibility. So if you love it it's a great job. But to go into it for family friendliness would be naive.

I work in PR. I get told ALL the time that my job is just boozy lunches and jangly bracelets. My life must be like Ab Fab. It's not I wish it were :o

My sister is a teacher. So are my two best friends. They all do a heroic job. All of the teachers that my DDs have had so far have been good. Some of them, amazing. I have a LOT of time for teachers and appreciate what they do for my kids. Just thought I'd reiterate that :o

I can see, however, that a lot of teachers (not all admittedly) wanted to use this thread to congratulate each other about how hard they work and complain how unappreciated they are.

When someone suggests that other people work equally hard, often for less money and no appreciation at all, they are treated as if that suggestion is a slight to the whole profession. And possibly a personal one too

mitochondria- clearly it was just an example. Feel free to watch the news if you prefer!

Lookandlearn- you are entitled to parental leave. Yes, this might be unpaid. But a teacher can take an afternoon off for their own children's sports day if they want to. And there are many many people in lower paid or shift jobs who cannot take time off when they like for these things.

You get no thank you cards or presents at the end of summer term? From pupils / parents? You are the only teacher I know who doesn't!!

Sorry, have missed a few posts but just read this and spat out my tea wine pmsl!

It is very very different in Secondary. You are more likely to get a mouthful of abuse at the end of term for not physically forcing the little
darlings to study hard enough to get the grades they needed. You need the hide of an elephant in my school - if you had any idea of the number of times I have been told to fuck off today (I like to think they mean it affectionately ). And I am considered one of the more popular teachers.

ldnmummy you arent impartial and will fervently champion (your dh) teaching -fair rnough.but i can assure you teachers are not only hardworking,commited employees out there.and not the only folk to take calls,help out it work at home

And FFS LDNMummy I have not anywhere made light of what teachers do. Stop putting words into my mouth! I have said time and time again that I think teaching is a very important job.

"I'm struggling to remember another job that gets thank you cards and presents twice a year like teachers do."

Correct me if I'm wrong CurrySpice but I'd say your experience of teachers (other than when you were at school yourself) is limited to primary level, no?

And Miaowww I did say I thinking of primary schools. HTH

Oh my goodness me so now the moan is teaching isn't compatible with being a parent. The fact that their holidays match that of their child's is a massive bonus. How many other jobs have this advantage?

Why can't teachers appreciate the benefits of their job and accept that all jobs have a downside to them. This "poor me" attitude that a lot of teachers have is so boring. Were you forced into being a teacher? No, you made the decision to be a teacher. Either accept it or change careers.

"When someone suggests that other people work equally hard, often for less money and no appreciation at all, they are treated as if that suggestion is a slight to the whole profession. And possibly a personal one too"

As someone who's parent had to work two jobs for less than minimum wage slogging her guts out to provide for us as children, I do not think this at all. But I do think that you have a rose tinted view of the teaching profession.

My point is that in the grand scheme of things, teaching is a very undervalued profession in our society.

many jobs encroach on family life.thats the rub,paid a salary to give up your time with expectation you make adequate planning around work.

well you would say that Ldnmummy,fact is lots of jobs are undervalued,not understood. not just unique to teachers

I kinda got that impression LDNmummy

Agreed scottishmummy, but teachers are not paid nearly enough for what they actually do. Though I agree, make plans around it if you have chosen it as a profession.

And I agree with your second point too scottishmummy, what I do not agree with is the idea that having a talk about it is somehow moaning and being woe is me. Many jobs are undervalued including teaching, and the people who do those jobs should be entitled to to talk about it without being told they are moaning.

What full-time job of roughly equivalent salary is compatible with parenting if teaching isn't? Ignoring the holidays (and I think the vast majority have agreed this is a major perk), the key advantage is the flexibility over when the extra hours are worked and the ability to do (most) of them at home if that's what you want to do.

Workplaces are becoming more flexible all the time but most people I know have little choice over the hours they have to do at the office.

Agree that no term-time off is a negative but there are plenty of parents who have to use all their holiday to cover school holidays so can't attend that play anyway.

I honestly think that relatively teaching is pretty compatable with patenting. I don't think the question can be answered in any way but relatively - no full time job is ever going to be completely compatable with parenting!

That's simply going on what's be said on here. I admit I'm not a teacher but have friends who are teachers. It is hard work, I'm not denying that. I'm also not denying that a lot of people say it's an easy ride. If they really thought that they'd be retraining though.

What impression Curryspice?

Ldnmummy,OT,Nurse,SALT,HCA- all examples of socially useful vocational jobs that are not well paid and not reimbursed appropriately.as i said this isnt a who has it hardest competition. frankly public sector is not handsomely remunerated. but teachers have best T&C in public sector imo

"My point is that in the grand scheme of things, teaching is a very undervalued profession in our society."

I kinda got that impression LDNmummy

Since you've banged on about it for days, even though the OP wasn't about that per se. HTH

And Scottishmummy, you're wron. This is a competition :o

wrong tut

As I said scottishmummy, I agree with you that there are many jobs that are undervalued. Teaching may have relatively good holidays, but it is very tough, in some areas and positions more than others. But when you are dealing with a job where a pupil can bring a knife into school or steal from your personal belongings, it goes beyond the normal stressful conditions of other jobs, much like nursing for instance. Just becasue in relation to toher public sector jobs it seems easier, should not mean that talking about the drawbacks should be taken as moaning and teachers should be told to be grateful for what they have.

"Since you've banged on about it for days, even though the OP wasn't about that per se."

Good point Curryspice, and I wouldn't be banging on about it if you hadn't gone of topic in the first place for me to respond to your comment