to tell DH his mother's day efforts are crap

[lurcherlover]

My first mother's day (DS is 5 months)...I have received a card and a novelty wine glass saying "No.1 Mum". I am in a sulk because:

1. He knows I don't like tat that clutters up the house. How can he think I would appreciate an oversized, pink striped wine glass?
2. I'm breastfeeding so hardly drinking at the moment anyway.
3. All I wanted was a card and a bunch of flowers - how did he not think to get flowers?
4. He hasn't even thought to get anything in for lunch so I've just sent him off to Tesco.

Can I sulk or am I being childish? Well, I know I am a bit, but surely his efforts have been pretty feeble...

I didn't get anything because I am a single mum to an 11 month old. Didn't make my first mothers day any less special. Its not about presents that you get from your DH/DP really is it?

One day dd will present me with a messy card and i will be delighted, but until then I'm happy and proud to just spend the day as her mum.

OP - sounds like you have clear ideas of what you expect on mothers day - don't leave it to chance in future. Write out a schedule for the day for next year along with a shortlist of acceptable gifts......

he is not your son,stop whinging

Oh, I don't think YABU. But I am quite bratty high-maintenance appreciative of proper efforts from DH too! May I recommend that next year you tell your DH a fortnight in advance exactly what you want. Be specific: you will be happy because you will get what you want, he will be happy because he doesn't have to second-guess what you want.

Aww Worra That's so sweet, Sticky! Was he named after Sticky the Stick Insect on a Sticky Stick from Blackadder. My thistle died eventually

No, Sticky Vicky from Blackpool

YABU and childish and an ungrateful bitch too.
I don't have a mum to buy a card anymore. And one of my good friends no longer has a son to get her a card or to wish her happy mother's day.

Get a grip!

YANBU - I would think that many of us put in a significant amount of more effort into Father's Day for our husbnads. I disagree that 'It is the thought that counts', when it is apparent that in many situations there has been very little 'thought'. My eldest is 5 and I have never had a Mother's Day that has been made special by my husband. Yet every year I plan a thoughtful present and day for my husband.

YABU, but your emotions are not controllable, if you are disappointed you can't help that. Men generally suck at gift choosing and he probably thought you would prefer something to keep forever than a bunch of flowers that die in a few days.

Either talk to him about your expectations for future holidays, or accept that his ideas of celebrating mothers day are different to yours.

to be fair i dont think the men can win

if they turn up with flowers/chocs, no thought has gone into it (have seen people say they cant stand flowers/chocs or they are the wrong ones etc)

if they try and get something with Mum on it, thats wrong because its tat

if they spend too much its wrong cos we are skint
if they spend too little, they are cheapskates

etc etc etc

I think it would help in future years to be clear with your DH what your expectations are. eg, 'It would be lovely to receive some flowers on mother's day DH'.

This kind of conversation always works for us and DH is always so proud of himself. Everyone's happy.

Grow up.

I'm with Fayrazzled - that's a pretty thoughtless present. Yes, he got you something (ignore those -'well at least you got something posters' - bitter harridans )
It doesn't make a difference that you aren't his mum - your ds is too young to prouduce something so why shouldn't he help.

Please ignore the onslaught of vitriol on this thread. You are being a teeny bit ungrateful (as you said) but personally I think it's a pretty crappy effort on his behalf and I do get sick of the anti-mother's day bridgade on mumsnet. I think a mum should be spoiled on Mother's day - I spoilt mine (as much as I could from a distance) - we took MIL out for lunch as well as buying her a thoughtful present which she loved so three happy mum's (me included) in this family.

You may be sick of the anti mothers day brigade but i am sick of the bleating on about "crap" presents.

I know this is AIBU but the level of matyrdom is something else! Yes the OP's dh made some effort. No he's not her child. Yes the OP is lucky and should count her blessing; some of us don't have oh's, or mums or children.
BUT he could have made more of an effort and you lot could have taken the post in the spirit in which it was intended and comiserated or suggested ideas for better next year instead of being so bloody sanctimonious.
OP, my oh managed a card from our 22 month old. No flowers or present or lie in or breakfast in bed. In fa
ct he's having a nap now while I do dinner, bath and bed, clear up etc. He's feeling a bit poorly today, nothing to do with the 2 bottles of wine he drank last night

I think the level of martyrdom is pretty equal to the level of spoilt brattishness.

I wouldn't be too bothered about the glass, even if it wasn't to my taste, but I would be a bit disappointed that he didn't get anything for lunch... one day when you don't have to think what to feed everyone is nice.

Nope the martyrdom definitely wins.

What a miserable bunch! Why shouldn't you make an effort for your mum or mother of your child/children on Mother's Day?

Those of you that no longer have a mum - that's sad, this is the first Mother's Day without my Nan but when she was here we made a fuss of her, did you not do the same?

I got diddly squat today (unless you count the pile of washing up and ironing that's in my kitchen as a little something) and after 3 children I'm feeling a little peeved !

As a result I will be buying my own little Mother's day present in the week - any ideas gratefully received!

also, I am thinking of leaving mumsnet because of the disgustingly rude and downright nasty things people post on here. You can disagree without being so horrid.

2sons1hubby totally agree - it's not the differences of opinion I disagree with it's the way they are put, I distinctly don't like the word b that has been used in one of the above posts.

i wonder how many of the moaners did anything for their mums or had their mil's for lunch - so mememe it's sad

But being a brat is so much more fun than being a matyr

I got a "happy muggers' day mumm-eee!" from 3 year old DD and a bunch of dandelions from the garden. Oh, and she helped her dad make spagetti and meatballs. I'm a happy mummy

OP YABU and yes, get used to the tat coz your home will become very cluttered with it over the years. If you're at all sentimental you'll want to keep the lot.

That's exactly what I did today, had PILs over, cooked dinner for 7 and currently clearing up said dinner. Round to my mums for the evening (as she spent the day at my brother's) to watch Waking the Dead for her. Have bought her a huge box of chocolates and hoping she might let me have one! So it's not all mememe