to tell DH his mother's day efforts are crap

[lurcherlover]

My first mother's day (DS is 5 months)...I have received a card and a novelty wine glass saying "No.1 Mum". I am in a sulk because:

1. He knows I don't like tat that clutters up the house. How can he think I would appreciate an oversized, pink striped wine glass?
2. I'm breastfeeding so hardly drinking at the moment anyway.
3. All I wanted was a card and a bunch of flowers - how did he not think to get flowers?
4. He hasn't even thought to get anything in for lunch so I've just sent him off to Tesco.

Can I sulk or am I being childish? Well, I know I am a bit, but surely his efforts have been pretty feeble...

And if you are complaining about your Mother's day may I just tell you that DH went to play football (because they needed him apparently ). My children were spectacurlarly unconcerned re the gifts they gave me and then work rang and i have spent the last 3 hours working from home, trying and failing to solve a problem that meant the factory ground to a halt, getting stressed and miserable, and now DH has taken the eldest 2 off to see MIL and there is just me and chickenpox-ridden DS2 here.

But best bit was when I was getting seriously upset about work and a bit tearful because it really was going shit-shaped and I couldn't do anything a but it, they all came and hugged me to make it better Even my big strapping 14yr old. Best Mother's day gift there could be (apologies for making anyone puke!).

I have posted about my mothers day on my very own thread but I have today had to clean up cat shit, sort out DS2 who has cut his own hair, do loads of coursework, loads of washing and I have a cold. DD2 and DS2 made me cards which were lovely and my DP is cooking me a nice dinner.

I wouldn't be too hard on your DP, after all it's the thought that counts. And if you don't want the wine glass, send it to me. I love a bit of tat.

If you have specific requirements, you have to make them explicit or risk disappointment.

We now have both Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day down to a fine art: dinner all together on the Saturday evening at restaurant of relevant parent's choice, breakfast in bed, homemade cards and homemade present. Mind you, it has taken 9 years and a few cold shoulders (mine ) to get to this point, and it is much, much easier when the children are older!

Go give him a kiss and look adoringly at your baby together.

YABU, he tried and you got something at least you can keep to remember your first Mothers Day.

I've had texts all day from people saying "what did your lovely DS get you for mother's day?" and replying "er, a novelty glass" just feels a bit rubbish really

How about "My DS is 5 months old...if you think he could get me anything at that age, you're a friggin moron?"

An awful lot of prima-donna behaviour from childwomen on here today.

You are behaving like a child. Grow up.

And I think everyone on here need to consider the shite poor men are subjected to on fathers day for a moment, never hear them moaning.

YABU you wanted flowers...you got a glass. I got nothing. We couldn't afford for me to have a gift as well as our Mothers....so we got plants for our Mums and I had a card which DD made.

DH has tried to be nice all day..that's enough.

Be happy wth your glass.

I've cleaned the bathrrom today, DH has been to the tip .
He did make roast dinner and got me choccies. I would've been upset if he'd spent more money tbh

Zukie My DN brought me a small twig when she came to visit a few years ago. I named it 'sticky' and we keep it on the mantle

at "sticky"!

I didn't get anything for mothers day until the kids were old enough to make and sign stuff themselves. My ex rarely bothered sending his own mum cards as he hated the commercial hype so wasn't going to send me stuff when I'm not his mum.
I don't understand people who seem to think it's wives day, it isn't it's a day when you send stuff to your own mother, not your kids' mother, your mother.

And you are far more likely to hear comments about commercialisation, made up, blah blah blah on Father's Day too.

However, I have been guilty of the odd moment myself in the past, so while I do think the OP needs to pull herself together enjoy her first Mothers' Day on the receiving end, I'm not going to be as harsh as some others have been.

It is a mummy martyr behaviour to rely on your child, husband or partner to buy you something nice. If you want something go and buy it for yourself.

I have spent my morning shovelling horse shit, the whole world does not come to an end because it is Mother's Day.

Hmm. I disagree with that 2rebecca I think. I have no problems with acknowledging the contribution of your partner to the bringing up of your children, especially when the children are too young to do anything themselves.

I think there's a happy medium between the full pampered princess expectations and the count yourself lucky to get anything lack of them.

And men, to do them justice, usually get that about right on Fathers' Day IME.

Nice one Snoozes

I washed a mountain of dishes today following a dinner party, no big deal. As long as you get a little something, it's enough!

One way around this disappointment is to treat yourself to your own mother's day gift! I do this for Mother's Day, Birthday and Xmas, after being disappointed quite a few times previously. Certaintly dilutes any disappointment for me.

Men just don't moan about Father's Day. On the whole, it's barely even on our radar. Even more so for me as it is so close to my birthday.

My DCs even didn't bother with it one year and I was barely bothered myself. The next year, they did me a lovely book which they had made themselves, full of pictures and their own words. It cost next to nothing and was the best present ever.

It all sounds a bit needy. "What did you GET, what did you GET?"

Also to be filed under "men would never do this IN A MILLION YEARS."

just read on twitter

mothers, be aware just because it is mothers day, sandwiches dont make themselves you know!

made me laugh :)

Sorry OP YABU but you've got a tiny baby and you're allowed to be a teensy bit U every now and again I reckon. Definitely the thought that counts though, and your DH did a nice thing.

unquietdad YABU too. And no for you. My dad is always chuffed to bits when I send him a card/call him up/remember him on father's day and my stepdad has been really very upset when his own (biological) daughter has forgotten him the last couple of years. It might not be on your radar but it is on a lot of other men's radars. (Plus you thought it was 'the best present ever' when you did get a gift. So there you go.) All men are different. All women are different. No need to start dividing men and women's behaviour into different boxes and then start slinging mud at each other from across the divide, in my book. I'm not sure if you've noticed but many women on the mother's day threads I've seen you on have been very grateful with whatever gifts they have/haven't been given.