to be a bit annoyed dh goes to the gym twice a week

[takeawaylover]

and it infringes on our family time

we have 1 dc age 4

he goes on wed after work.

and sat afternoons

i know i could have the same amount of free time, and say have a couple of hours sat am to say o shopping or whatever, but it just seems like then we would have even less time altoghter.

and less time for our dc it would seem like we dh and i are just doing what suits us rather than our dc or the family.

Much better a husband who keeps fit than a slob who despite being around lacks any energy.

YABU, its only 5 hours a week and there is nothing to stop you doing something on one of the 4 weeknights he is home, sat evening, sat morning or Sunday except you don't want to. I wouldn't give up a hobby for some unspecified family time.

Hobbies make people happy regardless of if they are beneficial to health. People are enthusiastic about growing dahlias, restoring classic cars or breeding tropical fish but those hobbies don't make you fit, they are just fun. Its normal to do something, I go to a badminton club weekly and swim roughly twice a week and I spend a lot of time gardening, sewing and reading, DH plays football twice a week and runs about 5 times a week, he also plays snooker every few weeks. Tbh, I would be afraid to give up on my activities in case my dcs (3 under 7, no nanny) leave home and DH and I have nothing to do anymore.

Lots of husbands spend that time in the pub. I think the gym is a better option.

Carry on like this, takeaway, and he'll be in the gym a lot more than twice a week. Or else he'll buy a shed.

Who has been with your DS this afternoon Op - as far as I can see you've been on this thread since 5pm arguing that you want more family time - What do you want to do in this mythical family time - have to agree with Olivetti - this continual moaning will drive your DH away. I am very happy that my DH spends a lot of time (much more than your DH does) away from home exercising/being outdoors/doing 'stuff/yes, even going to the pub - you don't have to be joined at the hip to have a good relationship and my DH has a great bond with our DS, doing all sorts of 'boy stuff' together.

Please explain exactly what you would prefer to be doing on Saturday afternoons.

YABVU.

twopeople - mind you, I love my DH to pieces, but I'm the type of person who says to him "why don't you go for a run/to the gym" on a regular basis when I feel he's been in the house too long!!

its really important for him to do something for himself- y0u should be too. it's only a few hours

It's the other way round in our house. DP would much prefer to spend all our free time as just our nuclear family time; I want the chance, just occassionally, to spend time with other people (with or without DP and the DCs, it doesn't matter - the point is being with friends sometimes rather than just the nuclear family). The difference is that DP understands that I would get stifled if we did it his way all the time, so willingly joins in with things I organise that he wouldn't otherwise do (if he fancies them; if he doesn't he waves me off and looks forward to hearing about my day when I get home).

we hardly see DH during the week and on weekends he on the bicycle for several hours both days (plus tinkering and general bike geekness) then there are the frequent 8 hour rides. But we get "family time" at meal times and I get a couple hours run both days, he takes them swimming etc but we don't do formal things, just stuff around the house (like eating, mucking about etc).

whats going to happen when your child has party invites at weekends? tell him/her thay cant go as its "family time". or if your child wants to play football/swimming/dancing on a saturday?
we both go to the gym, dh mon night, when i do all childcare from school pick up, boys do rugby tues night, beavers weds, i do gym thurs night and dh does pick up/tea/bed, saturday we all go, kids go into sports clubs whilst we use gym, then we have lunch there and go swimming. sunday is our day together with no agenda.
yabu

Sorry but YABU. We have kids aged 4. 2, 1 and another due any day now and both of us still find time for fitness or free time. Be it swimming or at the gym or grabbing a quick coffee with a friend.

Don't take the fact that you have a man who looks after his body for granted. Lifting weights, done properly, is not bad for you and even if it IS nothing to do with health for him, so what? It's a hobby. We all need personal time.

YABVVU

OP I really dont think YABU. having kids means some sacrifices, and to lose him twice a week when you both work is ALOT , IMO. FFS I would love to go to the gym, but I dont. I work FT and (a) I want to see my kids and (b) I dont want to leave them with a tired DP

dont get why you have been flamed at all!

and what is wrong with wanting family time? some weird posters on here. poor OP , its not every so often, which is fine. its every week, twice a week. If he was going to William Hill Pub/Gaming he'd be slated but cos its the gym its worthy? ai ai ai

Like upahill I think it would be better for the OP if she developed some interests of her own too. I don't think the time her husband spends at the gym sounds at all unreasonable.

you are being unreasonable. Having children shouldn't prevent you haveing a social life. I go to the gym around 5 times a week, work full time and do amateur dramatics. I still see my kids plenty.

I think you are being unreasonable. It's no time at all in the grand scheme of things, and it's not like he's out getting pissed. I would gently suggest you get over it.