Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

to be a bit annoyed dh goes to the gym twice a week

144 replies

takeawaylover · 02/04/2011 16:16

and it infringes on our family time

we have 1 dc age 4

he goes on wed after work.

and sat afternoons

i know i could have the same amount of free time, and say have a couple of hours sat am to say o shopping or whatever, but it just seems like then we would have even less time altoghter.

and less time for our dc it would seem like we dh and i are just doing what suits us rather than our dc or the family.

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 02/04/2011 17:54

Blimey - I find myself agreeing with fabby and that doesn't happen often [ wink]

FabbyChic · 02/04/2011 17:54

Desiderata

Cost is not the issue though is it?

Where does cost come into it?

worraliberty · 02/04/2011 17:54

well i can, as it doesn't affect our time all together

But who made you boss in this situation? Why do you feel you get to insist your DH has to spend Sat as well as Sun with you and your DC?

Gracie123 · 02/04/2011 17:54

Haven't read the whole thread, but could he not go when DCs are in bed?

I sympathise. My DH works a 6 day week so DCs would hardly see him if he went to gym during the day on his day off. He actually goes more often than your DP (usually 4x a week) but does early morning/evenings so he can be back for breakfast or after DCs are in bed.

pommedeterre · 02/04/2011 17:55

God Lord. How much exercise does everyone here do?! I feel quite slovenly now after this thread.
OP - make sat am your time which in turn means your child has daddy time which they all love.

pawsnclaws · 02/04/2011 17:55

The problem is that once you get home after a day at work, you can't really be bothered to turn out again - so I can't blame him for going straight after work.

Honestly, if you feel that resentful about it then you can't martyr yourself like this. You'll have to find a compromise. Either you find something fitness related to do together, or he changes his routine, or you take the Saturday am ticket. What about British Military Fitness classes on a Saturday? He does this in the park while you play with your ds, then you have a lovely time in the park together.

I'd love it if my DH did a bit more exercise, but when he got his rejection slip for the marathon he literally whooped for joy. Hence the long lonely hours on my own .

givemesomespace · 02/04/2011 17:55

Since when is lifting weights "not exercise" and nothing to do with health? Hmmmmm.... Would love to have that one explained to me.

YAB totally U. As Hecate says, children adore 1 to 1 time. It is so, so important.

worraliberty · 02/04/2011 17:56

And what is your DH's reason for not wanting to go on a Saturday evening?

Perhaps he has more energy on a Saturday afternoon or perhaps there's another reason? Have you spoken to him about it?

Original poster

takeawaylover · 02/04/2011 17:58

worral you say, who made you the boss?

well who made hime the boss

its not up to either of us to be the boss
we need to mutual agree on how we spend time

gym closes at 6pm sat eve

OP posts:

pawsnclaws · 02/04/2011 17:58

Oops finished message too early! I meant to say - while I'm out pounding the pavements, the boys have what they call "mad time" with DH. This consists of them running around the living room whacking each other with cushions, tickling sessions, loud shouting, and all the other stuff Mum Doesn't Approve Of. I'm not meant to know about mad time by the way, it's a boy secret .

Pagwatch · 02/04/2011 17:59

I don't think it is especially needy to envisage a weekend of mum and dad and dc.
I don't think it is unusual to not want to be alone with your child at the weekend if you have a head filled with family time.
I don't think it is necessary to be quite so unpleasant about op even if she is being unreasonable.

Op. I think letting each other have personal time is a good thing. But I can understand that it messes with your ideal weekend.
But let it go. If it is important to your dh.

Is he engaged and fully interested at home post gym. If he comes home and lays about I will have to change my mind

valiumredhead · 02/04/2011 17:59

Actually regarding the lifting weights thing - dh used to be into body building and although he had rock hard muscles and was at the gym everyday - he will be the first to admit it was probably the unhealthiest he had ever been.

valiumredhead · 02/04/2011 18:00

Anyway that's NOT the point, the point is YABU

Nailitorelse · 02/04/2011 18:00

I have never seen a more unreasonable OP, other than those which you know are wind ups!!

Original poster

takeawaylover · 02/04/2011 18:00

weight lifting, when your not healthy can really strain your heart for one thing

OP posts:

Desiderata · 02/04/2011 18:00

Fabby, I don't know where you've been for the last thirty years, but gyms don't come cheap.

twopeople · 02/04/2011 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

takeawaylover · 02/04/2011 18:00

if we didn't work late so much it alos wouldn't matter so much

OP posts:

twopeople · 02/04/2011 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Pagwatch · 02/04/2011 18:01

Paws
Dh used to do bmf ...or 'Sunday morning rolling in dog shit' as he called it

Original poster

takeawaylover · 02/04/2011 18:02

only 2 roads i can see.

i take sat am's

or he goes when ds is in bed at 6.30pm

i don't want less family time at the weekend, he won't want to go when ds is in bed

so don't know who will "win"

OP posts:

worraliberty · 02/04/2011 18:04

its not up to either of us to be the boss, we need to mutual agree on how we spend time

Exactly mutually agree.

If gym closes at 6pm on a Sat evening, how can he go at 6.30pm when your DC is in bed?

pawsnclaws · 02/04/2011 18:04

Did he like it Pagwatch? Am tempted to sign up for the summer - I love running but would like to be stronger and more balanced. At the moment I feel all weedy on top and muscly below, like I've got Victoria Beckham's top half and David Beckham's bottom half .

Original poster

takeawaylover · 02/04/2011 18:05

it closes at 10pm in the week, so could go twice in the week easily

OP posts:

purepurple · 02/04/2011 18:06

It's not about 'winning' really. It's about compromise.
But,if you are that unhappy with the arrangements then you need to talk to him about it and try and reach a compromise that you are both happy with.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6