AIBU to think WTF is going on?

[ScaredWorriedAndAngry]

We recently realised we may had been burgled my DH noticed weird notches and marks on our front door...so he called the police they came and confirmed that someone had definately been into our house and we suddenly realised why small but valuable items had started going missing over a period of about 5months ..3 phones a hand-bag, my husbands watch I brought him for our anniversary last year and probably other things we have not realised...things you might think you have misplaced or lost..anyway the police officer asked to look upstairs so my husband said ok...when she cam back down the stairs she said 'how many children did you say you had?' my DH answered 2 ..she then said well why is there just 1 bed/mattress upstairs?' my DH explained that we will be buying a futon for them and that we are just in the middle of things.

now for some back-ground...my DDs bless their cotton socks are home-wreckers...they had a lovely IKEA bed but they jumped all over it and smashed the slats beyond repair..they have also dug holes in the walls and pulled off their own room door when they made a 'swing' on the handle amongst other things..unfortunately my DH is not a DIY person a nor am I...we chucked out the bed bits and just had the made up mattress on the floor (which they think is bluddy marvellous and like a 'sleep-over'),we have a new bed that we brought originally when we brought the first bed..but decided not to put it up because they might end up breaking it again, we decided to buy a double futon so they can jump as much as they want till we have set up DD2's room...

We have lived in the house for quite a while but we are really struggling with decorating and many things have gone wrong with the property,mould, bolier broken, man half fitted the kitchen and ran off with the money..plus other personal stuff.. so yes it looks a bit of a state decoration wise and at the moment we just don't have the time money or energy to sort everything out and it's also very cluttered not dirty..just messy...and we also have alot of wine bottles in bags in the kitchen because I'm too lazy to walk round to the bottle bank often enough (more fool me)...so it looks a bit much when I look at it from someone elses perspective..maybe they think we are drunks or something?

Well after they left and I came home my DH mentioned what happened and said he thought she might say something..I said no way because our house is a bit messy and you explained about the matress etc etc...

2 weeks later the police return and we thought it was the discuss the break in..no..it turns out there we some concerns with our children and their living arrangements??, 2 officers from the youth crime reduction team are here?? they ask to come in the house is a bit wild because I'm doing washing..they said they have spoken to the school about us and our children and about the time off they have had etc...and last year my DDs caught quite a few colds ansd stomach bugs and the school policy is you must keep them off for at least 48 hrs so yes their attendance looks dodgy but not more so than other children..they asked us if there was food in the house??...we both work and have decent jobs but bills a mortgage and debts and I don't want to get into anymore debt..

so now a day later they are coming back again with another person...and I'm sure I saw them drive pass the house earlier...we asked for help from the police and now we feel like suspects for something we haven't done...am i overrating/paranoid?..is this normal practice?...am i in some kind of denial?..are we on a list?

I have been trying to hold this all in but I'm tearful/angry and worried and too ashamed to talk to anyone about whats happening...

sorry this is so long..

I have followed this thread from beginning to end. Can someone tell me why when the OP name changed it didn't continue highlighting her posts as the OP?

OP glad you asked for help. Good luck.

Oh Peter lol, was that an attempt at being bitchy.....

Try harder next time, and read the post properly xx

Well said Imaot. I think you have hit the nail on the head that the OP didn't post for a while and people said things that were untrue or got the wrong end of the stick which then got repeated as fact and it ended up that the children were living in filth with nowhere to sleep, no hot water, no food and a lot of people had made up their minds regardless of what the OP had said - even suggesting she was lying (like there would be anything to gain on an anon forum). It often happens with long threads when people can't be bothered to read the whole thing or just latch on to whatever view is popular at the time.

sock puppetry

"You know the saying small minds ect ect"

Did you mean etc etc?

Whoops see another perfect poster in motion. The crime wrong grammer lol

Right..I am the actual OP! I am not being abiguous...it really is me. i would be really pissed off if someone was posting as me on a serious thread like this....wouldn't you?

See?

No, I'm the OP. I've name changed.

Right?

the crime wrong grammer lol ??

raises hand
it's erm 'grammar' lmaoatsomeofyou. HTH

It will be thanks for that, noted for next time I need to use the word haha

Not at all, wrong spelling of the abbreviation of et cetera, not incorrect grammar, which as TSC helpfully pointed out is spelt with an "a".

How can possibly anyone say we're not nice on Mumsnet?

The OP has been attacked and ripped to shreds - pages and pages of judgements and jumping to (ridiculous sometimes) conclusions, not even reading her posts properly. She has been transparent about who she is. I think that when you are being viciously attacked it is hard to keep steady, and her posts probably reflect that. If you're feeling frightened you don't write things that well. It took me a good few months of being on mn to relax and not constantly edit what I was writing - and I wasn't posting controversial stuff! It's got to the point that whatever she writes she's attacked for it (and I was just thinking today that the OP was standing up for herslef when I would've just gone quiet, too frightened to 'speak'). I don't think some of you realise what it's like to be on the end of a prolonged attack in cyberland - it's very frightening and intimidating (q posts and posts and posts that 'it's only words on a page' - yeah, and sticks and stones don't break your bones either). She's repeatedly said it was a wake-up call and she is grateful it happened - what more do you lot want? She could flog herself I suppose, ring a bell calling out 'unclean!" unclean!". Would that do it?

But you know who you are only twats would come on and pretend to be someone on this thread

I shared this situation because I had no one else I could speak with this about...and because I was worried and shocked..and that maybe someone had been through something similar...

Seems to me theres some folks on here, who take great delight in "ripping people to shreds"

Not at all, wrong spelling of the abbreviation of et cetera, not incorrect grammar, which as TSC helpfully pointed out is spelt with an "a".

How can possibly anyone say we're not nice on Mumsnet?

(wink)

imo op received fair range of opinions,and some apologist platitudes.but given the op not surprised- it does and did read appallingly.as op later concedes. haven't followed in last few hours,so dont know current jist.

i do hope she takes on board advice and support offered

op keep focussed upon maintaining a safe appropriate environment,take any help/support offered. have a long hard think about how exactly you got into this chaotic situation,and what you will do to prevent it recurring again.are there any other underlying issues that are impacting?is your mental/physical health ok

what is role of your partner in all this?i hope he is supportive

you both need to perhaps work out a rota and a cleaning schedule, and do grade tasks appropriate to age so kids can help too.this makes it more participative and gets them in good habit of being responsible

get on top of school attendance and try establish a rapport with their teachers

regular,steady routine to keep on top of stuff will really pay off

He is very supportive scottish,

imo I was subject to some mad and major accusations..but I understand, very active imagination coupled with basic information a drunken, lazy mother makes..

Thank-you for your sound advice.

importantly,you are taking advice,have reflected and this should be a major wake up call. take heed and dont let things deteriorate to such an extent

your op was never going to make you popular,and yes i can see why it provoked certain responses

Hi all,

Thank you to those who reported this thread to us. Can we remind you all of our Troll hunting policy .

We can confirm that the OP has name-changed.

MNHQ

OP (if you are) have you read my posts? There are plenty of MNers who have been targeted for very dubious reasons. I know of several who are not even on this thread.

I don't blame them for staying away because they are absolutely wonderful parents and it must be galling for them to read about somebody making such a lack of effort when quite often they have children with SN and they battle daily to keep the home environment safe and secure at great expense and certainly they sacrifice ALL spare money, time and often their social and personal relationships in order to provide for their DC again and again and again.

They fight constantly for provision for their children. They educate themselves. They work hard.

Plenty of people here have given you the benefit of the doubt. It has all gone a bit weird I must admit and my er, less-compassionate posts have not been directed at you. It has taken off as so many threads do, and has become a wider discussion with tangents and offshoots. Such is the nature of AIBU.

I have seen many similar threads in Chat which have been full of support over the last four years. Perhaps you might consider posting there if you would like some help in the future?

Good Luck

Good - I think that was necessary to settle it.

OP, like I said last night, please take on board what's been said and don't just paper over the cracks. Good luck.

lmaoatsomeofyou a silly critique of your posts when you have been on the offensive is not ripping you to shreds. I'm nice. Look, look at my last post!

Not wanting to be awkward

Is Imaoat the OP?

I was merely posting my opinion, in my original post. Which I still stand by, FGG I havent read all your posts.

I have on the other hand read the op's posts and a random amount of responses.

My post was aimed at all those jumping to conclusions, without reading all her post's properly. If the cap fits wear it.

If you want to critique my post's, so be it. Not offended in the slightest.

(Ripping to Shreds) unsure what you mean there - direct quote from a poster above me. Maybe you didnt read it correctly or maybe I didnt post it right.

As regards to your last post to the op, well I dont know. I try not to judge people based on others storys. Maybe you was being nice. (grin)