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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think WTF is going on?

580 replies

ScaredWorriedAndAngry · 31/03/2011 22:35

We recently realised we may had been burgled my DH noticed weird notches and marks on our front door...so he called the police they came and confirmed that someone had definately been into our house and we suddenly realised why small but valuable items had started going missing over a period of about 5months ..3 phones a hand-bag, my husbands watch I brought him for our anniversary last year and probably other things we have not realised...things you might think you have misplaced or lost..anyway the police officer asked to look upstairs so my husband said ok...when she cam back down the stairs she said 'how many children did you say you had?' my DH answered 2 ..she then said well why is there just 1 bed/mattress upstairs?' my DH explained that we will be buying a futon for them and that we are just in the middle of things.

now for some back-ground...my DDs bless their cotton socks are home-wreckers...they had a lovely IKEA bed but they jumped all over it and smashed the slats beyond repair..they have also dug holes in the walls and pulled off their own room door when they made a 'swing' on the handle amongst other things..unfortunately my DH is not a DIY person a nor am I...we chucked out the bed bits and just had the made up mattress on the floor (which they think is bluddy marvellous and like a 'sleep-over'),we have a new bed that we brought originally when we brought the first bed..but decided not to put it up because they might end up breaking it again, we decided to buy a double futon so they can jump as much as they want till we have set up DD2's room...

We have lived in the house for quite a while but we are really struggling with decorating and many things have gone wrong with the property,mould, bolier broken, man half fitted the kitchen and ran off with the money..plus other personal stuff.. so yes it looks a bit of a state decoration wise and at the moment we just don't have the time money or energy to sort everything out and it's also very cluttered not dirty..just messy...and we also have alot of wine bottles in bags in the kitchen because I'm too lazy to walk round to the bottle bank often enough (more fool me)...so it looks a bit much when I look at it from someone elses perspective..maybe they think we are drunks or something?

Well after they left and I came home my DH mentioned what happened and said he thought she might say something..I said no way because our house is a bit messy and you explained about the matress etc etc...

2 weeks later the police return and we thought it was the discuss the break in..no..it turns out there we some concerns with our children and their living arrangements??, 2 officers from the youth crime reduction team are here?? they ask to come in the house is a bit wild because I'm doing washing..they said they have spoken to the school about us and our children and about the time off they have had etc...and last year my DDs caught quite a few colds ansd stomach bugs and the school policy is you must keep them off for at least 48 hrs so yes their attendance looks dodgy but not more so than other children..they asked us if there was food in the house??...we both work and have decent jobs but bills a mortgage and debts and I don't want to get into anymore debt..

so now a day later they are coming back again with another person...and I'm sure I saw them drive pass the house earlier...we asked for help from the police and now we feel like suspects for something we haven't done...am i overrating/paranoid?..is this normal practice?...am i in some kind of denial?..are we on a list?

I have been trying to hold this all in but I'm tearful/angry and worried and too ashamed to talk to anyone about whats happening...

sorry this is so long..

OP posts:
welshbyrd · 04/04/2011 18:58

Yes sorry worraliberty, meant to type officials

Been a long day today Hmm

beesimo · 04/04/2011 19:33

Nothing written on this thread since the 'OP' reappeared is a FACT, in my opinion it has turned into a stupid nancy story, 'ethnic family' my arse.

I reckon it is a entirely different person playing at being the OP, and I would just like to make it clear to him, her or IT that in light of the fact that some posters poured their hearts out about their own difficult pasts on this thread that you are in FACT a right low down nasty bastard. BEESIMO

Finallyspring · 04/04/2011 19:49

Totally agree with you beesimo. Either a split personality or a completely different person. But, what happened to the original OP ?

wubblybubbly · 04/04/2011 19:54

I'm not sure. If you look at the early posts and the later posts, both use 'brought' instead of 'bought'.

Of course, that doesn't rule out the possibility, just something I noticed.

FlaminGreatGallah · 04/04/2011 19:59

Fanjo (may I call you that?) I'm sorry if my post about clutter made you feel that way. I know it's difficult with a newborn. When we moved in a 2-bed, DH, DD and I and I subsequently had DS we had come from a 1-bed flat so had plenty of space to fill with such things as:

A full-sized cot, a beautiful rocking crib, a Moses Basket on a stand AND a rocking chair.

DS slept only on a boob or in our bed for over three years. That taught us Grin

It is very easy to fill the space available. We have had a garage for eight months and it is filling up rapidly! Clutter to my my mind is piles and piles of stuff everywhere except where it should be as per lesley's post. Rubbish which should be in the bin on the kitchen floor.

The last time I visited my sister's house when she had tidied up for my DN's party there were partially empty crisp packets in the upstairs bathroom and on the stairs for example and not one cupboard could be opened because dirty washing was stuffed from floor to ceiling. That is Good Enough parenting and as other people have pointed out, there can be concerns about pristine and sterile houses too.

I've just remembered worrying that my house was too empty of anything when DS was a newborn. We had just moved and DD was seven so all her things her upstairs in her room. He didn't need any toys and we had a lot of flowers around from various relatives. The atmosphere was a bit funereal and to my mind a bit too perfect. Until I waved the HV off and realised that I had been wearing my top inside out for the entire visit Blush

Sorry again.

Finallyspring · 04/04/2011 20:03

What a very odd thread this has been !

Greythorne · 04/04/2011 20:06

How very convenient that the OP hasz namechanged mid thread? The OP has one writing style and the "post police visit OP with a different name" has a totally different posting style.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

FlaminGreatGallah · 04/04/2011 20:16

The posting style with the question marks, irregular ellipses and lack of spaces where spaces should be has been consistent but nothing an experienced wind-up merchant couldn't fake. The attitude, I agree, has been different but this could also be explained in the light of the responses, as people have said.

Has anyone reported? HQ could check out IP addresses if necessary. If concerned perhaps this is the best course of action. And best for the OP if she is genuine or if she has had this hijacked.

Finallyspring · 04/04/2011 20:16

Exactly Greythorne but where is the first OP ? This has been a rollercoaster of a thread. I hope it ends with a revelation !!

RelievedThoughtfulandGrateful · 04/04/2011 20:37

For the record I would like to let everyone know my house had food in the fridge/cupboards, I have heating and hot water - the only reason I mentioned this in the post was because we had to use money we had been saving to decorate to buy a new boiler , we have a washing machine and a dryer and even a dish-washer...my home has clutter..which means books/papers and boxes in piles and clothing (lots of it), we have no pets and my home does not smell...

We knew items were missing from the home..but everyone around me convinced me I had left my bag/phone somewhere, the DDs were playing with the old phones so we presumed that they had hidden them/lost them in the house..my DH was convinced the watch had fallen behind the bed...you would never think someone would come into your home and not wreck the place and take everything of value...that someone would come in and just take small but valuble items...

I will also explain again that we have a brand new bed but decided to order a more suitable bed...which has been ordered and we had the money for..although some posters seemed to have the idea that my drinking was more important than my DDs bedding arrangements...the sleeping on a matress on the floor is very temporary...

I think what has happened has definantely given me a wake-up call and I am truly grateful that things have turned the way they have...

I was upset last night because people were accusing me of using the 'race-card' ...and since when was it wrong to use the word 'ethnic'..the reason I used it was for abiguous purposes only..

I now understand how a person can be misconstrued on many levels when sharing a situation with others...

PeterAndreForPM · 04/04/2011 20:40

why have you name-changed mid-thread ?

RelievedThoughtfulandGrateful · 04/04/2011 20:40

I find it quite interesting that my story is now fake...that is something I cannot control..if you are all convinced I am someone else...what can i do?
every line i write is now being pawed over and pulled apart by the thread hunters..

RelievedThoughtfulandGrateful · 04/04/2011 20:41

Because I wanted to Peter I changed to reflect how I was feeling...

PeterAndreForPM · 04/04/2011 20:41

but why did you name-change mid-thread ?

a simple question that you could clear up, if you had a mind to

PeterAndreForPM · 04/04/2011 20:42

ah, x posted

do you not see how it looks ?

FudgeGirl · 04/04/2011 20:44

I think HQ should check the IP address to finish this once and for all.

RelievedThoughtfulandGrateful · 04/04/2011 20:47

I didn't realise it would cause such a fuss...I was completely honest and open that I was the OP...

RelievedThoughtfulandGrateful · 04/04/2011 20:48

Wow!..so you really think I'm lying?...do what you need to do i suppose..i seem to be disappointing everyone by not being what they expect..

PeterAndreForPM · 04/04/2011 20:49

am sure HQ have better things to do

PeterAndreForPM · 04/04/2011 20:50

as do I

all the best, OP, whoever you may be

RelievedThoughtfulandGrateful · 04/04/2011 21:04

Thankyou Peter...

lmaoatsomeofyou · 04/04/2011 21:10

Earlier today, I read a thread on another forum about mumsnet. How it really wasnt as nicer a forum as it makes itself out to be.

Ive only read the op's posts, and quite a few responses. And to say that quite a few of the posters on here are jumping the gun, is in my opoinion the understatement of the century.

At first the responses seemed quite helpful in helping to guide her through her situation. Jump to friday and no posts from her, and the posts and conclusions that people jump to are quite alarming.

And all this playing the race card business, In my opinion is complete and utter nonsense.

This forum smacks of a small minded town, with small minded posters.

Instead of spreading gossip at your own gates in your own town. about your neighbours and friends.

You attack a poster annomously online, she's a bad mum this....uses her colour as an excuse.... Allows her children to dig holes in the wall ( Im sure she said it had been caused by the plaster coming away with the wallpaper. And the kids hadnt helped by poking the holes).... Playing trampoline / gymnastics on the bed. ( Cause when we where kids we never did that did we)
Oh and gawd forbid a few bottles lying around. Come saturday in my house you can count a weeks worth of wine bottles and a couple of spirits bottles on my worktop all waiting to go in the bottle bin... (but Oh my what a bad mum I must be, to enjoy a drink at the end of a working day)

What a bunch of self righteous pious sods you all sound. You sound like the sort of mums who tell ds or dd to not play with that child at school because of whatever rumours are being spread about town.

Ignore them op --- You know the saying small minds ect ect

lmaoatsomeofyou · 04/04/2011 21:12

think HQ should check the IP address to finish this once and for all.

Please miss we dont believe this poster, will you tell her and ban her lmao

pathetic

PeterAndreForPM · 04/04/2011 21:12

who said Mumsnet was "nice" ?

< laughs own arse off >

FlaminGreatGallah · 04/04/2011 21:15

If I was the OP and someone had hijacked my thread while I was away dealing with important issues in RL I'd welcome a check. Hardly pathetic Hmm