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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this woman kicks ass!

215 replies

littlepigshavebigears · 31/03/2011 19:00

went to meeting of Core Offer Monitoring Group at local children's centre (like a governing body)

one of my fellow parent governors was there, she is chair of one of the committees and there was an Ofsted bod in there asking questions

this mum turned up dressed to kill, looking gorgeous, breastfed her 8mo ds in front of a roomful of people (most of them suits) without turning a hair while talking about the information the )Ofsted bloke wanted - at one point she said "Oh yes, the figures you want are in that black file to my left, if somebody could just pass it to you as I am feeding the baby"

I wish I had had that much confidence when mine were little Envy

OP posts:
MarianneM · 01/04/2011 14:00

Ahem, BornAgain, breastfeeding and naturism are not quite comparable. You're being silly now (as if you weren't before).

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 01/04/2011 14:04

I am just pointing out that some people feel uncomfortable around exposed flesh. I understand that that's 'their problem', but really, in a meeting, I just don't think it's professional to bf.

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 14:19

Exposed flesh?! I see arms, legs, toes, hands etc all the time. I don't often see breasts though, there tends to be a baby's head in the way.

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 14:21

Is it unprofessional to have a cup of tea during a meeting? Of a glass of water?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 01/04/2011 14:45

I don't believe I need to apologise to someone who would like people to stay out their sight as feeding a baby disgusts them. Hmm Or someone who compares a women feeding a baby (and I very much doubt exposing any flesh, thats just a flimsy excuse) to a man walking in swinging his mickey, which is illegal, never mind unprofessional.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2011 14:47

MarianneM... Why can't BornAgainDomesticGoddess have her opinion without being called 'silly' or 'stupid' because it doesn't accord with yours?

I'm not opposed to BF/FF, I don't think anything of it, it's normal to feed a baby - just not in a meeting as the baby shouldn't be there in the first place. Are we now saying that women with babies are not fit for corporate boardrooms? If they're going to start taking babies in with them then I guess so. What a giant step forward for women that is... Hmm

MarianneM · 01/04/2011 14:55

Well LyingWitch, comparing breastfeeding and naturism is a little silly, and hardly expressing an opinion, is it?

The woman didn't take her baby to a corporate boardroom, but to a children's centre. She wasn't at work. Why shouldn't the baby be in the said meeting in the first place?

Bringonthegoat · 01/04/2011 15:06

littlepig - yes she kicks ass Grin

I couldn't be arsed havent read whole thread as I saw it was getting daft on page one! I think she sounds fab.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2011 15:13

Opinions differ, MarianneM. I don't think babies should be in meetings, BF/FF or there at all. On the BF issue, you've alluded to people being 'nutters' (UKIP voters), needing 'educating' and so on. Other posters have been very rude but I think they were ignored, they were by me anyway.

I understand what BornAgainDomesticGoddess meant about the naturism, it's a leap but I get the point she's making.

People often have opinions, on both sides of an argument, perhaps without knowing the full facts of a particular issue, or anything at all... I often learn from threads things I didn't know or hadn't thought about beforehand. All the fun of a chatboard...

MarianneM · 01/04/2011 15:51

LyingWitch, posters who think that breastfeeding is disgusting need educating IMO and those who feel queasy at the sounds a baby makes when feeding are a bit nuts. I don't want to leave such posts unchallenged.

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 01/04/2011 15:58

MarianneM, who said they thought bf'ing was disgusting?

By the way, I find your remark that I am "a bit nuts" highly offensive.

Oh, and for the record, I bf all of my children. Discretely and not in the boardroom.

ButterpieandCheese · 01/04/2011 16:08

She sounds great!

nenevomito · 01/04/2011 16:15

Late comer to this thread - but yes I admire her for feeding her baby as normal and carrying on professionally.

I don't get why so many are being negative, but then again I've bf in front of my boss.

MarianneM · 01/04/2011 16:42

BornAgain

Lots of people on MN have expressed sentiments akin to "breastfeeding is disgusting". Below are a few examples, starting with your comment which I found highly offensive.

^Also, the shlurping noises that bf'ing babies make and dribbling milk everywhere makes me feel a bit queasy.

I'm gonna get flamed here but breastfeeding does turn my stomach I'm sorry. The sounds don't help.

My reasons for bottlefeeding was becasue the thought of breastfeeding disgusted me and my family of ardent bottlefeeders convinced me I wouldn't be able to cope.

Tbh I find the idea of breastfeeding a bit icky.^

violethill · 01/04/2011 16:53

I don't think there is anything disgusting about bf at all.

I also think in the situation the OP describes, where the woman was not doing paid work, bf a baby was acceptable (though tbh many mothers of 8 months old would probably arrange childcare, simply because babies are pretty mobile by that age, and also don't need feeding on demand usually). If the woman had been in a professional situation, being paid, it would have been entirely unacceptable to not arrange childcare.

The thing I still really don't get, is the OTT admiration for the woman simply by virtue of her bf. There are so many more things that should gain respect - eg presenting her views articulately. Not sticking a boob in a baby's mouth.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 01/04/2011 16:55

Well, it's fine that you find it icky and disgusting Marianne. As long as you keep your opinions to yourself and don't ever make it plain that's how you feel in front of a bfing woman - because it is your weird problem, not hers so don't try and make it her problem by grimacing or commenting or anything foul mannered like that.

lottiejenkins · 01/04/2011 16:56

Well said Itsgrim!!!

WinkyWinkola · 01/04/2011 16:58

It's not the sticking the boob in the baby's mouth that people are admiring - it's more the being able to ignore other people's possible prejudices about being about breastfeeding and managing very well at the same time.

Knowing that the way you feed your baby turns some people's stomach isn't a nice feeling, is it? Being able to rise above it takes some strength.

WinkyWinkola · 01/04/2011 16:58

Don't babies slurp when they're bottle feeding? Babies slurp over everything.

larrygrylls · 01/04/2011 17:11

If you want women to breastfeed, you have to accommodate it. End of story. You cannot promote breastfeeding but expect women to hang around at home in case they need to feed.

I am far from a feminist but doing a job means doing a job. If she could do the job and feed her baby (which, by the sound of it was what she was doing) then that is fantastic and she should be appreciated for doing the job. It sounds like an intellectual rather than physical job, so being physically indisposed whilst feeding is neither here nor there. And as for those who say that asking someone else to hand over a folder was "unprofessional", would they say the same thing to someone who was disabled?

If someone has talent and a bf baby, she should be able to take the baby with her whilst she attends a meeting (as long as the baby is not disruptive, which it sounds like it wasn't). Personally, dumping a baby at nursery with a bottle of formula seems far less impressive to me.

violethill · 01/04/2011 17:18

There we go again..... posters presenting themselves as being so anti-prejudice and applauding the woman for bf, and then revealing their true prejudice with comments like "dumping a baby at nursery with a bottle of formula". Why the assumption that arranging childcare is somehow less impressive? For all any of us know, every other person in that meeting was also a parent.

I attended many meetings without my 3 month old baby who was exclusively bf (anyone heard of expressing?) because I'd returned to work by then. Obviously the woman in question wasn't at work, she was attending a meeting voluntarily, so it was quite acceptable to bring children along - I just don't see why it makes her so impressive that she chose to and others didn't!

larrygrylls · 01/04/2011 17:26

How is it impressive to pay something to do something? Am I an impressive chef if I delegate my dinner party to a restaurant?

Anyway, I never said I had no prejudices. I am prejudiced in believing that tiny babies are happiest with their parents and even their mothers (at the bf stage). I don't expect everyone to agree but it does not make it any less (or more) true.

violethill · 01/04/2011 17:42

It is actually quite offensive to assume that people who use childcare dump their babies with bottles of formula. Perhaps you can't see the offensiveness of your prejudice?

And I didn't say it is impressive to pay someone to look after your child, it isn't impressive at all, it's just what many people do. As is breastfeeding. That is precisely my point. I wouldn't judge any of the people in the meeting on whether they brought their kids with them or not, because they should be judged entirely on their contribution to the meeting.

mrsbumbledosem · 01/04/2011 17:50

I know this isn't really the point but I think there is a fair amount of missing the point going on here - I have heard of expressing but don't see the point. IF I can take my baby somewhere and BF with no one commenting on or seeing it as a big deal. Which isn't the case because of the view that it might be seen as unprofessional -but that women like the OP is talking about are helping to counter.

Bonsoir · 01/04/2011 18:01

YANBU, I cannot stand people breastfeeding in meetings.

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