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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think this woman kicks ass!

215 replies

littlepigshavebigears · 31/03/2011 19:00

went to meeting of Core Offer Monitoring Group at local children's centre (like a governing body)

one of my fellow parent governors was there, she is chair of one of the committees and there was an Ofsted bod in there asking questions

this mum turned up dressed to kill, looking gorgeous, breastfed her 8mo ds in front of a roomful of people (most of them suits) without turning a hair while talking about the information the )Ofsted bloke wanted - at one point she said "Oh yes, the figures you want are in that black file to my left, if somebody could just pass it to you as I am feeding the baby"

I wish I had had that much confidence when mine were little Envy

OP posts:
dementedma · 01/04/2011 10:20

I'm with LyingWitch and can't see why this woman "kicks Ass" because she can shove her boob in a baby's mouth. Meh, did it for years, but NEVER in a meeting in either voluntary or professional capacity.
IMO she should have expressed, and left baby with someone else.
Actually not impressed at all.

violethill · 01/04/2011 12:33

Yes, its this weird hero worship thing that I don't get, simply because she got a boob out! There may well have been other gorgeous looking women in that meeting, who had expressed milk, dropped the children off in childcare and e even done a ten mile run before turning up at the meeting and making valuable contributions! Just as the men in suits might be wonderful dads who had got their children up and fed and off to nursery beforehand. Just seems a tad patronising to judge one person on the basis that they are bf rather than everyone on the value of their contribution

Onetoomanycornettos · 01/04/2011 12:37

Because it's against the social norm. Whenever someone does something unusual, they risk social disapproval (as has been demonstrated on this thread) and have clearly taken a position on it which could be admired or castigated. Having to hide all evidence that one has children or is breastfeeding to succeed in the workplace isn't something I personally admire.

The professional thing might hold water if she was presenting something to the board, but as part of a committee in a children's centre, no biggie.

uyter · 01/04/2011 12:41

I don't get why this is impressive in any way. I wouldn't take a child into a meeting whether I was being paid for it or not. She should have expressed and left the baby with someone else.

dementedma · 01/04/2011 12:42

Onetoomany - I don't think it's about hiding all evidence that one has children, it's about appropriate things at appropriate times. When I was at home I wouldn't have left the baby crying with hunger becuase I had a report to write, and when i was at work I wouldn't have asked someone else to do something because I had to feed the baby.

"Oh yes, the figures you want are in that black file to my left, if somebody could just pass it to you as I am feeding the baby"

That actually makes me cringe and doesn't do anything to further the cause of women in work or otherwise.

PrinceRogersNelson · 01/04/2011 12:43

I have this weird feeling that in our society you are allowed to be a Mother, or work. But not both. No and not at the same time.

I stay home with my children, but am volunteering for things (like my local pre school) which fit in with my life and children.

The thought that you have to organise child care to do something voluntarily which is about children makes me feel so sad to be honest.

Mothers hide yourselves away until you can find someone else to look after your children! You may not be a Mother and an active member of the community. Oh no.

Fucking ridiculous.

YANBU - she kicked ass.

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 12:48

So would you expect your hairdresser to cut your hair with a baby sucking from her boob? Your Dentist perhaps to fill your tooth whilst doing the same?

Work is work voluntary or not and the idea that anyone should feed their child whilst in the middle of doing their job is quite odd indeed.

The fact the work is ultimately child releated is neither here nor there. The OFSTED Inspector's work is ultimately child related too..yet I wouldn't expect to see them walking round schools with babies attached to them.

I would however expect them to sort out their childcare before going to work.

megapixels · 01/04/2011 12:52

I am with the OP. Yes this should have been a normal thing that shouldn't have even registered, but in this country it just doesn't happen. So I think good on her. And I agree with the poster who says good on her for being a mother and an active member of the community at the same time. Here is a situation where it was appropriate to go to with a baby, so cool that she didn't feel pressured to dump the DS somewhere when she didn't have to.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 01/04/2011 12:52

Ridiculous comparisons. just 2 reasons why

  1. hairdresser and dentist being paid to do a job. Professionalism comes from the word profession, you may not have made the connection, its their paid work.
  2. they need both hands to do their jobs.

Also OFTSED person in school, paid job. Would you like some pointers on why paid work is different to voluntary work?

Any sensible comparisons to make?

WoTmania · 01/04/2011 12:56

OP YANBU - she sounds great. As long as the baby is qas kept happy and didn't disrupt the meeting then I think it's a wonderful example of mothering and meeting commitments.

dementedma · 01/04/2011 12:57

worra makes a good point. those applauding women who bf at work...what if your child was very ill, needed to see a GP/specialist/ambulance/emergency dentist etc but was kept waiting, perhaps in a difficult and stressful position because the required person was busy bfing? Would you be so understanding?
What would your response be to the teacher who said "sorry your DC failed his/her exam. All this bfing at work has meant I haven't been able to prepare the class properly".
You CAN work and be a mother - I have done it working part-time, full-time and running my own business, but would never ever have even considered bfing in work time. (I suppose working from home is different)
In fact, I got very unexpectedly pg with DC3 while running my business, and considered bringing baby into work in early weeks so i coudl keep the business ticking over and not have the whole burden fall on my business partner. My business partner was, and still is, my best friend. also a mother. When I mentioned bringing in child to be, she looked a bit awkward then siad "actually, I would prefer it if you didn't. This is my workplace too and I want to work here as a business woman, not a childminder. I don't want a baby in the work environment" And she was right. And is DCs godmother Grin

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 12:58

Nice megapixels that you think women dump their children to go to work Hmm

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 13:00

Would you like some pointers on why paid work is different to voluntary work?

No thanks. Would you like to take on board the fact that voluntary work means volunteering your spare time?

dementedma · 01/04/2011 13:00

winter -just to clarify?
if you are doing paid work you are being professional and shouldn't breastfeed in meetings
if you are doing voluntary work you are not being professional and its ok to breastfeed in meetings?
Interesting argument Hmm

WoTmania · 01/04/2011 13:02

maybe the baby is at the separation anxiety stage, maybe the baby still nurses frequently and the mother would have been leaking all over the place and/or running off to hand express every 5 mins not to mention the risk of mastitis if she left the baby with someone else.

Maybe she didn't have anyone to leave her baby with? I often attend BFC training with a 2yo in tow. She is entertained and her needs met. If she gets squawky or restless I take her out of the room or a bit.

I hate the way you are forced to do one thing or the other in many cases - work (either voluntary or paid) or SAH.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 01/04/2011 13:02

and who made you the god of what constitutes spare time?

It would appear the woman in the OP was integral to the meeting, presumably the people there would rather have a baby with her than a wasted meeting. Unless they have the same ishoos as yourself?

Its not her WORK. Some posters here can't seem to tell the difference. Hmm

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 13:03

I wonder if St John's Ambulance members and Special Police Constables breastfeed while volunteering? Or sea search and rescue?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 01/04/2011 13:04

and actually demented, if you have another read thats not what I said at all. What I said was you can't keep banging on about a lack of professionalism about somebody not attempting a profession, and you can't compare it to doing the same thing inw ork when it isn't.

2 seperate arguments, not one.

ScarlettWalking · 01/04/2011 13:06

Yawn who really gives a fuck. She hasn't done anything exceptional you are very easily impressed!

WoTmania · 01/04/2011 13:07

that's completely different surely worral. This mother was sitting in a meeting. Not walking about the streets or off on a rescue.

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 13:08

It's voluntary WORK

I am not the God of what constitutes free time. You only have to look it up if you don't understand what it means. Here's a definition if it helps Winter..........

2. spare time - time that is free from duties or responsibilities

dementedma · 01/04/2011 13:09

ok, winter. Now that we have clarified what you mean by work and professionalism, how do you feel about people in paid professions bfing in the workplace? Not aksing about lady in OP - I mean paid people in paid jobs.

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 13:13

I'm with the op. The fact she was feeding her baby didn't prevent or.detract from her work, or purpose I assume?

Besides,look at the context.

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 13:15

Oh, and dd won't take a bottle so maybe her baby was the same?

Though I must say that at 8 mo dd only breastfeeds a couple of times a day as she is eating now so I would very easily be able to do this sort of thing without feeding. But if I had to, then so be it.

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 01/04/2011 13:16

I would feel very uncomfortable in that meeting as I feel awkward around bf'ing mothers and I am a woman (God knows how men feel). I am always scared that I am going to accidentally look at their breasts. Also, the shlurping noises that bf'ing babies make and dribbling milk everywhere makes me feel a bit queasy.

Not saying women should not bf wherever they bloody well like, but a meeting... sorry, I don't think that's very professional.

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