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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that obese people should be extra careful on moving buses?

340 replies

figcake · 28/03/2011 09:57

I had an obese mum land her entire body weight on my right knee yesterday as the bus we were travelling on jolted forwards - I was already sitting with ds, she had just got on with her husband and toddler. She apologised and even gave my knee a quick pat.

I woke up in pain today. There were plenty of handles to hold onto (it was a very modern bus) and def not overcrowded. I had intended to run many important errands today though I cannot do this anymore as it would be too painful. I am fuming.

Obese + clumsy = do not travel by bus ??

OP posts:
JeremyVile · 28/03/2011 11:52

Um, yes, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself Blush

TLES! You've gorn and done it now, this thread will become another pseudo-debate about fatties.

And we all know how much fun they are. And how terribly enlightening...

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 11:53

JV, I was only asking - and I am seriarse as well!

I mean DS2 is classed as obese at the age of 3. Hmm

JeremyVile · 28/03/2011 11:55

Oh I realise you were asking a genuine question Smile

plopplopquack · 28/03/2011 11:57

No excuse for obesity though is there? The old chestnut thyroid doesn't work anymore cos its bollocks.

That's not true AT ALL. Yes some people are just fat, but having a dodgy thyroid makes it incredible hard to lose weight no matter what you do.

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 11:57

And I do think some people are just big. and not always through their own fault either.

The world would be a pretty boring place if we all looked the same Wink

Emmanana · 28/03/2011 11:58

Whatever the reason someone is overweight, be it metabolism, disease, overeating, Does it really give anyone the right to judge and use it as a stepping stone to be morally superior...

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 12:00

Emma, unfortunatly we do live in a world where judging seems to be a favourite past time. Someone is disable people judge, someone is fat they judge, very skinny they judge, gay - judged, black - judged, - single parent - judged the list is endless.

Emmanana · 28/03/2011 12:07

Oh Ladyevenstar I know, and it will always be the way of the world. People will always find someone to step on and raise themselves up that little bit higher. I feel quite sorry for people who feel the need to point out what they think is 'wrong' in other people. They must be pretty insecure to attempt to continually put down other people, that they have to point a finger and gain attention for themselves at anothers expense.

poopnscoop · 28/03/2011 12:10

Some folk are fat due to meds - prolonged steroid use. My nutritionist said I actually UNDER eat. The 'don't use thyroid as an excuse' is offensive to people who really battle with their weight.

poopnscoop · 28/03/2011 12:11

Re the bus... things happen. Get on with it. If you don't want the chance of being touched by a foreigner/fatty/smelly/ipod-listening/stiletto-wearing person, WALK or go by car. Don't touch public transport.

Original poster
figcake · 28/03/2011 12:18

Oh come on!! I am the one with the injured knee. I am not fattist (I am now a 10-12 myself so hardly stick-thin). Nor am I racist - I have more daily social contact with people from other countries than a lot of the PC brigade on here. And to set the record straight, I was actually the one with the Primark bag (having gone there for the first time yesterday as it was the first shop I could find around there and DS had spilt water down his trousers).

I can imagine that she sniggered because she felt embarrassed about her size. I also know that she must have low self esteem as a result of it and I actually feel really sorry for her. However, she should have been paying more attention, she was heavy and it did hurt.

OP posts:
Original poster
figcake · 28/03/2011 12:19

People will always find someone to step on Wink

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 12:20

Maybe if people didn't ridicule larger people NOBODY would need to feel embarrassed?
"I also know that she must have low self esteem as a result of it"

So because she was a larger woman she obviously has low self esteem? Biscuit

Original poster
figcake · 28/03/2011 12:23

Well my own self esteem is lower for being a size 10-12 than when I was a size 6-8 especially when I am sat on a beach in the South of france - so I guess...

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 12:27

That figcake is your problem.

Last summer I was a size 16 and had no problems with my self esteem, I still sat on beaches and ran around with my 2 dc. I am not bothered by what others think, because if they are looking at me and worried about what I am wearing, doing etc it shows what empty sad lives they actually have so it is them I pity.

deemented · 28/03/2011 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 12:29

Deemented

(MNHQ can we have a Like button please?)

poopnscoop · 28/03/2011 12:31

'I also know that she must have low self esteem as a result of it and I actually feel really sorry for her.'

How do you know what a stranger feels?

Please don't feel sorry for me, a fatty. I have great self esteem, I am happily married to a gorgeous husband, have a thriving business, am (believe it or not!) rather attractive - or so I am told ;)

mumblechum1 · 28/03/2011 12:33

Slight tangent here but I was on a bus in Barcelona recently and a guy fell forward when it stopped suddenly and put both hands on my boobs to stop his fall.

I don't know who was most embarrassed [shame]

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 12:34

Poop

(adding my own likes to peoples posts as MNHQ haven't given us a like button HUMPH)

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/03/2011 12:35

Mumble go on admit it you enjoyed it Wink

Emmanana · 28/03/2011 12:36

OP, if you had started a thread, telling us what happened, without going into detail about the lady's appearance, people would have been rightly sympathetic, and you would have got it off your chest. Yes, it's crap that your knee has been injured and I can fully understand how it is hampering your day to day stuff.
But does it improve your situation to then start insulting other people and being presumptive about how other people feel quote 'She felt embarrassed about her size'.
For your information, not everyone who is overweight is 'ashamed' or 'embarrassed' , and live their lives proud of who they are, instead of feeling the need to physically portray societies idea of 'normal' or 'perfection' .
So OP, you have been injured, and in recounting the tale you have started a debate, and possibly insulted quite a few people reading this. Hope it made you feel better.

reddisc · 28/03/2011 12:37

Well said TLES & deemented

Op i really hope your ds does not pick up on your ignorance to others Hmm

madonnawhore · 28/03/2011 12:58

I wish someone would do something about all the ugly people I'm forced to endure on a daily basis.

OP are you attractive yourself? You're off the hook if you are...

poopnscoop · 28/03/2011 13:00

Thanks LadyEvenStar! I too wish there were like buttons here... MN techies are you listening??

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