to wonder why so many people think it's OK to slag off London to a Londoner's face?

[LittlePickleHead]

This has been irritating me increasingly, and after yet another comment yesterday ('ohhh you've even got to pay to have a piss') I had to post.

I live in London and have for 12 years since I moved here for uni from a small market town in a the lovely west country. Yes it was a culture shock but I have grown to absolutely love the place, warts and all. I do understand it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I completely appreciate that some people would rather eat a smelly sock than live here.

However I just don't understand why, practically every time I visit somewhere outside of London, someone will ask where I come from and react to my reply 'oooh no, I don't envy you, London is really smelly/unfriendly/expensive/uncultured(! - really had that)/dangerous *delete as appropriate

I don't give a shit if people think that, but it's so incredibly rude to say that to someone who lives there! If someone visited London from another part of the country and told me they live in (for example) Telford, I would never dream of saying 'oooh poor you, that's really boring and tacky and has a shopping centre for a town centre, I'd HATE to live there' as that would just be fucking rude (even if I thought it - which DISCLAIMER I don't, though the town centre is a bit of a strange concept)

Getting a bit fed up of it now, it's even a few of my friends from home who have never left who feel the need to make a dig about London when I see them. I understand why ther prefer the countryside, but tbh it's getting a bit annoying now, as I have chosen to live here it feels like a direct insult on my lifestyle (plus the 'everyone is rude' thing would also include me and my friends and it's just not true)

So, AIBU or should Londoners just suck it up and accept everyone else is just jealous?

YANBU! As a fellow 'adoptive Londoner' I know exactly what you mean and I too find it rude and irritating. However, I have learnt to smile and reply, 'Well, I love living in London, but each to their own.'

My granny's favourite retort in these sort of circumstances was 'Wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same.' Think I might start using this myself.

I bloody hate it too! My best mate (who lives in Dundee, by the way, not Sydney or Barcelona or Stockholm) came down to London to see me with her new live-in boyfriend. New boyfriend sat on my couch and moaned for about 45 minutes about how rubbish London is, how he'd hate to live here and so on, and I thought "Bloody hell, you are SO rude. I don't care if you like London or not, and you may even be right about it, but it is SO rude to basically question MY choices about where I live". I ended up saying "Well, I love it and I think I'm a pretty sane person!"

To me it's like any other form of criticism. No one would put up with someone going on at length about the husband they have chosen or something.

I totally agree with you. It's rude and unneccessary.

But it works both ways - Londoners can be a little quick to sneer at anyone outside of the M25.

I wouldnt be offended by that personally. Especially as you are not actually from London. You probably see it through rose tinted glasses and are being a bit precious about it. People "slag off" (horrible term by the way) lots of places. It seems to be that those in London just cant handle it!

my kiwi cousins still updates her fb status at times with - how much I miss London, the people the friends the atmophere.

There are plenty of people that love London and choose to live there, a lot of the comments you get are from people that have never lived in London and don't understand how diverse it is or can be and what absolute fun you can have living in a capital city. be aware it just shows their own ignorance as they may not want to live in the city - but they haven't tried it either so how do they really know? All experts over a pint of bitter, yet have only seen the tv pictures

The rudeness of London reflects on the rest of Britain, because many tourists or people visiting for business will not see the rest of the country.

I think it is fair enough for anyone British to comment on the capital city, and the level of rudeness is embarrassing when compared to Paris or New York.

How difficult is it really to say thank you and goodbye to a bus driver, or make eye contact when serving in a shop?

The population of Telford is not required to be entertaining, but everybody, wherever they live, should have some basic manners.

I don't think London is rude at all. It's not as friendly as north west (imo) but much friendlier than the rural area that I grew up in.

I don't think London is any ruder than anywhere else. I've often been helped on the tube when carrying heavy bags, or offered a seat, and you get rude shop assistants everywhere.

And you can't thank the bus drivers when you get off, because you can't get off London buses at the front, they all have separate doors at the back. But I do shout thank you if the bus is empty and I think they'll hear me - especially if they've waited at the stop when I've been running for the bus like a loon!

They are jealous.

MillyR - I think claiming Londoners are ruder than the famously rude Parisians and New Yorkers is a bit of a stretch.

TCNY, that has been my experience. I lived in London for 2 years, and have been in Paris and New York for work reasons. There really is no comparison.

Which isn't to say there aren't many things to love about London and many of its inhabitants, and I still love to visit London.

OP: I just wish people would show me the same courtesy I show them when I bite my tongue and don't mention that where they live is full of ruffians

Exactly. That's it exactly. I don't automatically say something horrid if someone says they live in Manchester, or Aberdeen, or a village in Mid Wales, or wherever, so why on earth do people think they've got carte blanche to be rude to me about where I live?

And you're right, as someone who's adopted London as their 'home town' I feel particularly strongly about it because I've chosen to live here and therefore people who are rude about it are being rude about my choices.

My actual home towns/villages (we moved about a bit in my childhood) are both shitholes in my experience and I don't give a hoot if someone says so. I'm not going to defend them just because I was taken to live there. It's different when it's your own choice.

I do get what you're saying OP. But Londoners who have moved here are just SO rude about it. It is a beautiful, funky, arty city, yet londoners' favourite dinner party subject is to slag off every aspect of it - someone even sneered, shrieking with laughter, that we (apparently) don't have dinner parties during the week, like we are pathetically backward or something. They like to think they're so witty, going on and on and on - so RUDE. I say oh fuck off in my head, smile sweetly and say "Why don't you move back to London?". This is my home city but I have lived in London for a decade and would love to live there again if I had some serious dosh to live somewhere decent. I am not rude about London to Londoners but I could be, as I've lived there and know it's good as well as bad points. I love visiting though, particularly as I know my way around (and can blow my nose when I get home and put the blackened tissues in the bin)

perhaps it's more about the people you are hanging around with than the fact they are from London though springdaffs? You get wanky arseholes everywhere (and the dinner parties in the week thing is just pure odd)

I would dump those friends as they sound like cunts, and think they are like it purely because they come from London!

and don't think they are like it.... doh

Sorry but I have no sympathy. Try telling people you're from Birmingham and then see what reaction you get! (Mostly from people who've never been there except to change trains at New St).

Yeah, but well...Birmingham....