Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why so many people think it's OK to slag off London to a Londoner's face?

118 replies

LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:00

This has been irritating me increasingly, and after yet another comment yesterday ('ohhh you've even got to pay to have a piss') I had to post.

I live in London and have for 12 years since I moved here for uni from a small market town in a the lovely west country. Yes it was a culture shock but I have grown to absolutely love the place, warts and all. I do understand it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I completely appreciate that some people would rather eat a smelly sock than live here.

However I just don't understand why, practically every time I visit somewhere outside of London, someone will ask where I come from and react to my reply 'oooh no, I don't envy you, London is really smelly/unfriendly/expensive/uncultured(! - really had that)/dangerous *delete as appropriate

I don't give a shit if people think that, but it's so incredibly rude to say that to someone who lives there! If someone visited London from another part of the country and told me they live in (for example) Telford, I would never dream of saying 'oooh poor you, that's really boring and tacky and has a shopping centre for a town centre, I'd HATE to live there' as that would just be fucking rude (even if I thought it - which DISCLAIMER I don't, though the town centre is a bit of a strange concept)

Getting a bit fed up of it now, it's even a few of my friends from home who have never left who feel the need to make a dig about London when I see them. I understand why ther prefer the countryside, but tbh it's getting a bit annoying now, as I have chosen to live here it feels like a direct insult on my lifestyle (plus the 'everyone is rude' thing would also include me and my friends and it's just not true)

So, AIBU or should Londoners just suck it up and accept everyone else is just jealous? Grin

OP posts:
flippinada · 27/03/2011 11:36

Why are you taking people's comments so personally, OP?

If you're happy with your choices (and obviously you are), it doesn't matter what other people think; especially if they're being a)ignorant b)rude.

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:38

It's not the centre of my universe at all, for what it's worth I have family all over the UK and love many areas of it.

I'm jsut bored, pissed off because I had to get up an hour early for work (on a Sunday of all days) and it's something that's been bugging me.

And Edinburgh is lovely, and aesthetically lots of it are nice, I agree :)

OP posts:
Jaquelinehyde · 27/03/2011 11:39

Oh I get what you are saying perfectly. I am just unsure why it bothers you so much.

Where I used to live was a total dive, think bad and then magnify that by 10 and you are almost there. People wouldn't usually have to say anything to me about where I lived as the deep inhale of breath and terrified look in their eyes said it all. Did I take offence, no of course I bloody didn't even when people said to me 'bloody hell how can you stand to live there, it's disgusting, crackheads on every corner etc' I just let them get on with it as they were usually right. If they were wrong then I would have challenged it, which I presume you do, especially as it upsets you as much as it does.

Where I live now is a perfect little market town, very middle class and full of people who have no idea what the real world is. To some this would be the worst place to live and the reason everything is wrong in the world. To coin a phrase 'am I bovvered'.

harvalp · 27/03/2011 11:42

I suppose it's because some of us remember how it used to be a wonderful, civilised place.

Bearcat · 27/03/2011 11:43

Now whats wrong with poor old Telford?
I lived there until I was 18 (have lived in SW London for nearly 30 yrs now) and my brother still lives there and my niece works in Telford 'town centre!'
Telford is actually made up of a series of small towns and villages all congregated together in 70's to become Telford new town.
There are some lovely places in Telford, Ironbridge and all its history, the Wrekin and views from it, lovely walks and countryside, Shrewsbury just on its doorstep, nice pubs. Where else could 4 adults get a ticket from Wellington to Shrewsbury return for £8?
And then theres Dunelm ( always have to go there on my yearly trip to visit brother to get my bargains that I never find in my bit of London).
I love going up there for a weekend and a receptionist from work hired a holiday cottage right in the River Severn last year so her DH could fish from the bottom of the garden. She thoroughly enjoyed it.
I sound like a bloody tourist guide for Telford don't I?

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:44

I've only come on here for a moan, I don't cry myself to sleep over it. Just thought it was odd.

I can see there is the same thing for other places as well. I'm obviously just far too polite as I'd never do it myself (don't know what place that can be jacqueline never been anywhere that bad!)

I only ever say 'oh no it's great, I love the choice of theatre and restaurants and the hustle and bustle' and not much else, they are entitled to their opinions, just find it weird they think I want to hear them...

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:46

Bearcat I have a lot of family in Telford and grew up visitng there so it just popped in my head as an example (which is why I put the disclaimer in) - I agree with you! Wonderland is also fab for my DD and Ironbridge is gorgeous (could probably live there tbh)

OP posts:
Jaquelinehyde · 27/03/2011 11:47

It's a south east coast seaside town with a very bad reputation, I had my own little piece of heaven there though and that was all that mattered. Grin

IWantAnotherBaby · 27/03/2011 11:50

I suppose its because many people have some experience of London from visiting etc and have formed their opinion based on a brief encounter with the city so feel entitled to comment. And once you've said you live there, they have something in common to talk about...

I lived in London for 6 years as a student. I loved it for all the good points, and the feeling of being at the centre of the known universe! Being right in Hampstead helped reduce the worst aspects and I took full advantage of museums, theatre etc, but loathed the tube, the general level of rudeness, the pollution and lots of other things. When I left, I knew I'd never want to live there in "real life" IE post-student days, and although I do visit very occasionally, every trip reminds me of why I'd hate to ever live there again (the black horrors that emerge when you blow your nose on the train home after 4 hours there, for example).

If you love it, then great; tell the slag-offers why!

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:51

how old exactly are you harvalp...

OP posts:
BulletWithAName · 27/03/2011 12:00

Wow...why whould you even care?! It's not like they are personally insulting you is it?

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 27/03/2011 12:11

Just smile, agree with them and move on - we don't need any ambassadors for London - it's hard enough getting a seat on the tube as it is Wink

I get the opposite problem - I am from (tiny, picturesque and rustic county) that people think is a bastion of apple-cheeked privilege and quiet. From my point of view it's economically deprived, has serious heroin problems and big gap between haves and have-nots. But people don't like to hear that.

BringBackGoingForGold · 27/03/2011 12:14

OP, no, YANBU AT ALL. I'm a 'Londoner' too or at least someone who's gratefully adopted it as my hometown, and I get anti-London comments all the time. OK, perhaps if you questioned people they'd say they didn't mean it personally, but I feel that slagging off where I live is basically slagging off my judgment/choices. So yeah, I do take it a bit personally.

What really pisses me off about it though is that the most vehement anti-Londoners are invariably people who a) have never set foot here, b) have just passed through e.g. one person who went through Liverpool St station, spending about 20 minutes there, and felt able on that basis to say that because people looked stressed/weren't smiling, they'd never want to live in London because 'people are miserable in London', or c) claim to have lived in London and hated it but when questioned turn out to have lived in Surbiton or somewhere equally hellish suburban.

A family member, when a few of them visited recently, remarked on how expensive some attraction was (Mme Tussauds or Planetarium or something equally shite touristy), and someone else said 'Well, things are expensive in London.' No, some touristy things that they know tourists will pay for are expensive in London. You could say the same about any major tourist centre on earth.

So in conclusion (sorry, rantorama I know; this is something I feel strongly about!), a lot of people's slagging-off of London is based on ignorance, and THAT is what pisses me off the most. At least Londoners who've moved to Devon or wherever and insist on moaning about it know a bit more what they're talking about.

Done now.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 27/03/2011 12:20

Agree with you BBGFG - (though not on the BBGfG front!)

My DH is from (London satellite county strongly featured on the worst town thread) and whenever he goes back, he is always meeting people who insist they've 'done' the 'london thing' and wouldn't do it again. It really pisses him off - like 'London' is just some temporary phase for provincial twenty-somethings to spend their binge-drinking, pre-child-rearing years in before scuttling back to a Barrett housing estate off a 3 lane motorway. Those are the people who make London shite IMO.

BringBackGoingForGold · 27/03/2011 12:34

Hear hear! I sometimes feel that people think I'll 'grow out of' London. How fucking patronising can you get? My soul would die if I lived in commutersville or the country; I don't agree with miserypants Virginia Woolf on many things, but 'If it's to be Richmond or death, give me death' Grin.

NinkyNonker · 27/03/2011 12:46

Because a lot of 'Londoners' think everyone else are provincial half wits and that the world stops outside the M25. Or at least slows down to an uncultured crawling pace.

Not all, before anyone leaps on me!

Chil1234 · 27/03/2011 12:50

Why stop at London...? All these foreigners that come to Britan and then moan about the food, the weather, the traditions? Wink

littlepigshavebigears · 27/03/2011 13:01

I think it's because London isn't just another town, it's OUR capital city, so we all feel we have a stake in how it represents us as a nation and a culture

I think you will have to learn to put up with it

happiestblonde · 27/03/2011 13:09

YANBU

You should see the reactions when you criticise Manchester to a Mancunian (sp) but London appears to be fair game. I wouldn't live anywhere else.

goodbyemrschips · 27/03/2011 13:13

At least Londoners who've moved to Devon or wherever and insist on moaning about it know a bit more what they're talking about.

Exactly [lol] all the Londoners I have met in Devon know more about anything in the world than I could possible know coming from darkest Devon.

That quote sums up a lot to me.....I am still chuckling here.

expatinscotland · 27/03/2011 13:15

'Why are you taking people's comments so personally, OP?

If you're happy with your choices (and obviously you are), it doesn't matter what other people think; especially if they're being a)ignorant b)rude.'

Exactly. I'm foreign and hear all sorts of things often enough about my 'horrible' native country.

Meh.

Water on duck's back.

Couldn't care less.

Am happy with where we are now, if others don't like it and say so, more for us then.

LeonardNimoy · 27/03/2011 13:18

I think only someone who lives in London could get this offended by other people not liking where you live...

thefirstMrsDeVere · 27/03/2011 13:19

I love london. Its great.
Lots of other places are great too.

Devon is very nice
Norfolk is lovely
I hear Cheshire is devine
Manchester has its good points
Glasgow looks like fun
Cornwall has lovely rocks and sand
Blackpool has a big tall tower thingy
Slough is very handy for commuting
Swindon is on the way to Devon and looks lovely from the motorway.
York also has a tower

Got to go and get dog food now..

Gottakeepchanging · 27/03/2011 13:24

You are not a Londoner. Sorry I don't get it.

boosmummie · 27/03/2011 13:24

YANBU. But ignore them...London's a wonderful city. There are dreadful parts, but even within those bits, one can always find an oasis. I'm a SW London person myself, but I love it all. I love going back and I CANNOT wait to move back after 7 years in October. With any luck, those who don't like won't bother to return Wink which means I may a. get on to a Northern Line train at any time of day and b. get a seat on said Northern Line train Grin.

All the parks, the museums, the river, the restaurants, China Town, Covent Garden, my particular stomping ground, any day of the week is just one of my favourite places to be, rain or shine.