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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why so many people think it's OK to slag off London to a Londoner's face?

118 replies

LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:00

This has been irritating me increasingly, and after yet another comment yesterday ('ohhh you've even got to pay to have a piss') I had to post.

I live in London and have for 12 years since I moved here for uni from a small market town in a the lovely west country. Yes it was a culture shock but I have grown to absolutely love the place, warts and all. I do understand it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I completely appreciate that some people would rather eat a smelly sock than live here.

However I just don't understand why, practically every time I visit somewhere outside of London, someone will ask where I come from and react to my reply 'oooh no, I don't envy you, London is really smelly/unfriendly/expensive/uncultured(! - really had that)/dangerous *delete as appropriate

I don't give a shit if people think that, but it's so incredibly rude to say that to someone who lives there! If someone visited London from another part of the country and told me they live in (for example) Telford, I would never dream of saying 'oooh poor you, that's really boring and tacky and has a shopping centre for a town centre, I'd HATE to live there' as that would just be fucking rude (even if I thought it - which DISCLAIMER I don't, though the town centre is a bit of a strange concept)

Getting a bit fed up of it now, it's even a few of my friends from home who have never left who feel the need to make a dig about London when I see them. I understand why ther prefer the countryside, but tbh it's getting a bit annoying now, as I have chosen to live here it feels like a direct insult on my lifestyle (plus the 'everyone is rude' thing would also include me and my friends and it's just not true)

So, AIBU or should Londoners just suck it up and accept everyone else is just jealous? Grin

OP posts:
bucaneve · 27/03/2011 13:29

croydon is also useful for commuting and has an ikea
dagenham/barking bit of east london is near canary wharf which is lovely
hastings has lovely antiques shops
milton keynes is home to the wonderful OU

:)

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 13:30

Leonard it's not the fact people don't like London, I don't give a shit, a lot of it is crap. It's the fact that the first response to hearing that I live there is to slag it off. If I say 'what do you think of London' I'm not going to wail and sob if you say 'i fucking hate it'

But if someone asks me where I live and then responds to my answer by saying they feel sorry for me or some other such crap, well that's just rude. And it happens a lot. And it irritates me. Same as it would if I lived in Bristol and the same thing happened. I'm moving there. It might. This is more of a rant against rude fuckers.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 13:34

no Gotta you obviously don't

It's like me asking you your daughters name, you telling me it's Pauletta and me saying 'god how awful, I hate Pauletta, it's really chavvy'

Fucking rude, though I'm perfectly entitled to think that. Nothing to do with the actual name, it's just very insulting as you have obviously made the decision to call your daughter that. It is being rude about a life choice you have made, to your face, without the opinion being solicited.

Get it now?

OP posts:
boosmummie · 27/03/2011 13:34

You will hurt yourself....

I'd respond with a simple indication as to where the nearest station is so they can get the hell out.....Grin

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 13:36

I like that response. The last person that did it to me was holding a gun though, so I just smiled and nodded...

OP posts:
Fresh2death · 27/03/2011 13:36

who cares?

boosmummie · 27/03/2011 13:40

If there was a gun involved, I would possibly do as I am told. But only then. Any other time I won't.

BringBackGoingForGold · 27/03/2011 13:43

goodbye, forgive me if I'm wrong but it sounds like you're being sarky and sneering towards my comment (sorry to sound like a plodder but I'm not 100% sure how you meant it (as irony/sarcasm/sincerity are easily confused when written down).

I agree with OP when she says it's NOT so much about being defensive about London particularly (although I happily admit that's part of it for me, personally), it's more that people feel it's OK for their first comment on where someone lives to be an insult. I think that's plain rude wherever you are, and the OP is right, her point would still stand if she was living in Bristol and someone's first comment on finding out where she lived was 'Oh, poor you; I'd hate to live in Bristol' or similar.

Similarly, in the quote of mine you pulled out, you could substitute any place names and it would still stand:

At least Glaswegians who've moved to London or wherever and insist on moaning about it know a bit more what they're talking about.

What I meant was that while someone who's moved to a new place, spent proper time there, and doesn't like it is more qualified to be rude about it than someone who's never been there or spent only token time there.

I wasn't having a pop at anyone who lives in 'darkest Devon'.

kittya · 27/03/2011 13:49

Why are people refusing to understand what the OP is saying? God, this is a very annoying thread to read! Y Anbu, I understand totally what you are saying. I've lived here for years yet everytime I go home I get someone saying to me I'd hate to live there the people are so unfriendly when they've never even been! It's annoying and hurtful atthe same time. And, so not bloody true!!

boosmummie · 27/03/2011 13:50

Hear Hear Kittya

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 13:51

Yes, thanks kittya (and the others who have 'got it')

This is not a 'Wow, London is like, soooo amazing, why don't people understand' thread

OP posts:
Duna · 27/03/2011 14:12

YANBU

BUT, but I've met many a Londoner who makes snobby/downcasting/arrogant remarks about anywhere, that well, isn't London.

I used to have to travel to London alot for work and put up with lots of sneering comments about how provincial, underdeveloped and grotty the city I was from was.

Of course what you experience is rude, but IME it happens BOTH ways.

Fresh2death · 27/03/2011 14:18

Duna - totally agree, im yet to meet someone from our nation's capital that isn't self absorbed and ignorant to the rest of the nation

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 14:21

Fresh the main point in answer to your comment would be, I would NEVER make a sweeping statement about the inhabitants of an entire city (or county, or town) and generally choose to judge people on their own merits as I meet them. To do otherwise is extremely ignorant.

Your comment says more about you than it does about anyone living in London (which incidentally is home to people from all over the country anyway...)

OP posts:
Fresh2death · 27/03/2011 14:25

I was merely commenting on my experiences with people from London, i was not passing judgement on the remaining millions i have never met

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 14:27

The implication was there - how many people from London have you met? Why were they all so rude to you?

Seems a bit unlikely...

OP posts:
Fresh2death · 27/03/2011 14:32

They weren't rude to me direct, another aspect I didnt claim - i work in a company that has a shared office in London, my experience of the staff moving up north from London is of self absorbed ignorant people who found it hard to exist outside of the capital city.

I suggest you read a post twice before commenting again, i wasnt implying anything to people whom i have not met, simply commenting on those i have met and worked with that happen to be from London, and i just so happened to agree with Duna . . . . based on my experiences

onlion · 27/03/2011 14:39

I get this all the time about where Im from. Ive just come to the conclusion that people are rude.

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 14:39

But my point isn't about the merits of Londoners vs everyone else, so it's slightly frustrating that this has been picked up on

'Well all the Londonders I've met have slagged off anywhere that isn't London...'

Point is, yes if you have visited London and someone there has sneered at where you come from, same thing. Or if it's happened in any other location you'd like to think of.

But the comments along the lines of 'but...a lot of Londoners are rude themselves...' is kind of missing the point.

OP posts:
Fresh2death · 27/03/2011 14:41

In that case it's best to accept that people generally can be rude, irrespective where they are from

goodbyemrschips · 27/03/2011 18:29

Bringbackgoingfor gold

I suppose I was being sarcastic I have met a couple of dozen or more Londoners in the workplace and socially and they are loud and know everything. I have never met a placid and mild one yet, and they all seem fixated on the wages in Devon because what they earn now they were earning 30years ago in good ole London town.

It beggars belief why anyone move away cause it is so great there.

We have a little giggle in work when a Londoner starts and say something very simple like ''my back garden is 100foot long'' and you can bet the Londoner has one or used to have one that was twice that.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 27/03/2011 18:37

I live in a part of London that Londoners are rude about.

I like it. Ner.

neepsntatties · 27/03/2011 18:39

They are jealous. I wish I had never left. Too difficult to move back. Never leave!

SlobbyBOB · 27/03/2011 18:43

Ha!

You think you have it bad. try coming from Liverpool.

Am I really a..

Victim culture, thieving scumbag?.

helsywoo · 27/03/2011 19:00

I'm from Nottingham. It really irritates me that people who in all probability have never even visited the place say "oh, don't you worry about guns, its so rough there" etc. No, Ive never seen a gun. Or a druggie. Or a fight and Im 40. Its just rude. Like the example about the childs name.

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