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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why so many people think it's OK to slag off London to a Londoner's face?

118 replies

LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:00

This has been irritating me increasingly, and after yet another comment yesterday ('ohhh you've even got to pay to have a piss') I had to post.

I live in London and have for 12 years since I moved here for uni from a small market town in a the lovely west country. Yes it was a culture shock but I have grown to absolutely love the place, warts and all. I do understand it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I completely appreciate that some people would rather eat a smelly sock than live here.

However I just don't understand why, practically every time I visit somewhere outside of London, someone will ask where I come from and react to my reply 'oooh no, I don't envy you, London is really smelly/unfriendly/expensive/uncultured(! - really had that)/dangerous *delete as appropriate

I don't give a shit if people think that, but it's so incredibly rude to say that to someone who lives there! If someone visited London from another part of the country and told me they live in (for example) Telford, I would never dream of saying 'oooh poor you, that's really boring and tacky and has a shopping centre for a town centre, I'd HATE to live there' as that would just be fucking rude (even if I thought it - which DISCLAIMER I don't, though the town centre is a bit of a strange concept)

Getting a bit fed up of it now, it's even a few of my friends from home who have never left who feel the need to make a dig about London when I see them. I understand why ther prefer the countryside, but tbh it's getting a bit annoying now, as I have chosen to live here it feels like a direct insult on my lifestyle (plus the 'everyone is rude' thing would also include me and my friends and it's just not true)

So, AIBU or should Londoners just suck it up and accept everyone else is just jealous? Grin

OP posts:
goodbyemrschips · 27/03/2011 11:06

Just the same as when Londoners move to the West country where I live they all just moan about the wages no decent shops, restaurants etc.

So why move here then I ask?

If London is so much bigger and better stay there.

Vallhala · 27/03/2011 11:06

YANBU, I'd tell them to piss off personally. :o

BUT... you are not a Londoner either. Only those of us who were born there can claim that accolade. You're someone who now lives in God's Own City. Wink :)

Tee2072 · 27/03/2011 11:07

YANBU. But you also have to just suck it up. People think they are being clever or what have you and they are not going to stop saying those things.

I get the same sort of thing because I am from the US. I get really irritated with quite a few threads on MN, for example, because 'oh that's from the US' = must be horrid!

Nothing is all bad or all good. Some people just can't accept that.

PS I'd love to live in London. I live in Belfast. Grin

expatinscotland · 27/03/2011 11:07

Get over yourself.

What goodbye said.

FabbyChic · 27/03/2011 11:08

My son is going to live in London as to commute to a 12 hour day job outside of London just isn't feasible. I've worked in London but never lived their. When I used to say I lived in Essex I'd get the crass remarks.

You get used to it.

Besides Essex is a shit hole.

southeastastra · 27/03/2011 11:09

i think people are jealous Grin

i loved living in london - no better place to live

the suburbs are full of small minded samey people imoho

don' move out or you will regret it

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:10

Ha, fair enough, I'm not a born and bread Londoner, but still think it's rude to insult the place someone has chosen to live to their face (and yes, just as rude the other way round, though I've not come across that. I'd never live anywhere if I just wanted to slate it...)

OP posts:
Jaquelinehyde · 27/03/2011 11:12

They are commenting on where you live, not on you personally.

Don't be defined by where you live and realise that parts of london are fucking horrible and full of bloody horrible people (like a lot of places)

Just suck it up, be happy you live in an area you are happy with. Why should what anyone else says matter.

goodbyemrschips · 27/03/2011 11:13

Oh believe me most Londoners who come to live in Devon do nothing but moan about it. I tell them to go home and stop drinking my water and breathing my air.

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:14

See, I love Belfast (fab city), I love the west country as that's where I'm from and I shall reside there again one day. And even if there are a few places that I think are awful, I would never say that to a resident. I'd just pity them silently whilst saying 'oooh how lovely'

I went to a wedding in a lovely rural part of Wales a few months ago, and we were saying how gorgeous the place was to the taxi driver on the way to the church. She asked where we were from and when we said London, she said 'oh poor you' then charged us double! (Which we only realised when we spoke to the taxi driver at the end of the night).

Rude.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:17

Jaqueline, I'm not doubting the awfulness of lots of parts of London, or anyones right to think that.

What I am objecting to is the need to immediately comment on it when I tell people where I am from - I just don't get it? I would never react to finding out someones home town with an aghast 'oh how awful' as it's just rude!

Am I the only one who gets this?

OP posts:
ZombiePlan · 27/03/2011 11:17

Agree that it's rude. If you make any life choice and someone turns round and basically says "don't know how you can stand THAT, I think it's AWFUL" then that is IMO rude. It's just like making a negative personal comment about weight/haircut/job/some aspect of childrearing. If you can't be polite, say nothing. No need to diss someone else's choice just because it's not the same as yours.

Tee2072 · 27/03/2011 11:17

Oh I love Belfast as well. But I'd love to live in London.

HipHopopotomus · 27/03/2011 11:18

Before I moved to London (from NZ) my friend told me "London is huge, overcrowded, dirty, noisy and chaotic - you're going to LOVE IT!" And she was right.

I still think her description is a good one, though clearly it's just part of the picture.

Honeybee79 · 27/03/2011 11:18

Hmm, well people are just expressing their view on a place not on you personally on your personal choices so I don't get why it bothers you so much.

I love London and I put up with the disadvantages because I think the advantages outweigh them. But that's just me.

noodle69 · 27/03/2011 11:21

Agreed with Goodbye I live in Devon and I know Londoners that slate it all the time. I couldnt care less tbh. I have lived in complete dumps before when I have lived in other places I didnt care if people said anything against it as the things they said were usually correct.

Psammead · 27/03/2011 11:23

I suppose it's the same thing that drives people to slag off America to Americans.

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:23

I can't really understand why anyone would slate Devon though, that's just weird. Why are they there if they hate it?

Or are you travelling to London and saying you come from Devon and people go 'yuck' (as that would be the equivalent)

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/03/2011 11:24

'Am I the only one who gets this?'

No.

Psammead · 27/03/2011 11:27

Actually loads of people slag off the town where I grew up, which is a large town in the SE of England.

They do have an excellent point, mind. It's a hole.

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:31

Obviously not the only one expat but some are missing the point.

It's not as if they have been asked their opinion on a place and are giving it. They are responding to someone giving their place of residence with a negative remark.

It's obviously not just London though, but it's not the same thing as someone moving somewhere and then complaining about it.

OP posts:
flippinada · 27/03/2011 11:31

OP, you are really overthinking this.

London might be the centre of your universe but it isn't everybody else's.

Like all places, it has its good and bad bits.

Besides, I live in Edinburgh which is much nicer Wink.

Original poster
LittlePickleHead · 27/03/2011 11:33

Most places have their good points and bad points. I might be able to guess where you are talking about Psammead as I probably grew up very close by.

Point being, if I met you and you told me you were from there, I wouldn't say 'gee what a shit hole'

Though I'd think it

OP posts:
noodle69 · 27/03/2011 11:34

'I can't really understand why anyone would slate Devon though, that's just weird. Why are they there if they hate it?'

Same as goodbye said wages, lack of decent shops etc. I dont mind them saying it as Devon is lovely but it is true. I wouldnt feel like they were slating my 'lifestyle'.

My old home town I used to say where I live and still say where I was born now and people say 'nevermind' 'someone has to live there' etc. I think its funny tbh cause its true. It even ranked as one of the highest on Mns towns of worst places to live and I am proud of it Grin

TheyKnowEsperanto · 27/03/2011 11:35

I'm from Essex and have to prepare myself for comments like FabbyChic's whenever I say where I am from. Essex has its shithole areas like any county/region but people seem to revel in taking the piss and ignoring the good points - (fabulous countryside, long beautiful coastline, good commute to London, loads of history - Colchester is a good example). My friend from Liverpool gets the same kind of shit off people that think they know the area because they used to watch Brookside. I guess they also think every cul-de-sac is hiding 3 or more murder victims under its resident's patios.

OP- YANBU - it's just plain rude, as is any Londoner moving to Devon and moaning. It says a lot more about them than you and I do often think there is a tinge of jealousy (not for Essex or Liverpool) with London, in that people then jump to conclusions about your earnings/lifestyle in comparison with theirs and attack because they feel defensive.