As a mum, how do you feel when a stranger touches your baby, gets hold of their hands/squeezes their cheeks etc..?

[MaisyMooCow]

Tonight on the bus home I was sat near a woman and her baby. The girl next to them was smiling and chatting to the baby and as she approached her stop she took hold of the baby's hand, gave it a gentle squeeze and a wiggle and said goodbye to the baby. I saw the mum's face and she threw this girl a look of disgust. The girl didn't notice, she was fixed on the baby.

As a mum, how do you feel about strangers doing this?

I don't mind at all! So long as they are gentle it's fine.

Someone stroked my ds's cheek as they walked past him on the train yesterday

It never bothered me at all when my two were babies, in fact I probably do just that to babies now mine are grown!

I love people giving DS2 attention. One of the nicest things about having a baby IMO. However, in town last week a total stranger spoke to me about DS for about 4 seconds before leaning forward and kissing him on the mouth. I did NOT like that - but she did it so quickly I couldn't stop her. I whizzed off and (out of sight) rubbed his lips hard with my hanky! (he is fine BTW) All cute normal touching is fine though.

I'm pleased for my baby. Physical and tactile affection is a blessing.

I was a bit bemused by all the attention dd got when she was tiny, but secretly proud. There came a point when dd was a toddler and noone bothered any more. I wanted to stand in M&S and shout " She is even more gorgeous now!" at the pensioners

Actually I thought it was wonderful how everyone loves a tiny baby. I don't get the preciousness over it, unless someone pokes baby hard and wakes it up or something.

I think it's really nice to be honest, I don't mind it at all. I mainly find it's older men/ladies who do it, and I always chat back to them. I always think that they might not have anyone to talk to, or any family around, so I always make an effort to be nice and pass the time of day.

I am happy for people to be kind and fuss over DD. Think it is beyond rude of that woman on the bus to shoot dirty looks like that. Children love to meet new people until their parents terrify them into submission!

She was quite grumpy bugger to be honest, perhaps she was having a bad day. I smiled at the baby, made eye contact and smiled at the mum but got nothing in return!

I never cooed over babies till I had my own. I think that when older people coo over your baby, it's because they are remembering that happy time in their own lives when they had their own babies. It is lovely. One day I guess most of us will be like that!

It's lovely! Some people are terrified of germs.

I don't like or want strangers to touch my baby's hands - she puts them in her mouth. Talk away to us etc just leave the hands alone!

normal social interaction

Hand stroking and squeezing is lovely. Cheek pinching is NOT. Ds was born in Spain where cheek pinching is done by everyone. Ds had very chubby round cheeks which were very inviting I admit but they really squeeze hard when they do it so I perfected the art of swivelling the buggy expertly to avoid a pinch, or better still carrying him in a sling so I could subtly move to keep him out of arm's reach.
Did on several occasions actually block a few pairs of poised pincer fingers and once had a bizarre arm wrestle with an elderly lady who leaned in...I moved away. (ds in sling) She smiled and dipped in again. I raised my arm to block and she went in with the other hand so I caught her by the wrist, still smiling sweetly and firmly lowered her hands away. Even then she made a motion as if to put her hands up to ds again but I instinctively put both hands up and forwards as if to catch a ball so she gave up
All in complete silence with sweet smiles. I could tell from her fingers she was a HARD pincher :o

Just to add I looove touching babies but I always ask first and if the mum seems uncomfortable I keep my hands to myself :)

I had issues with it, but sucked back my germ-a-phobia and let people shake her hands. Never had any stroke her face or pinch her cheeks. Today, a 20 something guy helped her up because she fell over running down the hall. He was gentle about it. It was nice. My hands were full.

Although, I got a look from a mom at the pool change room yesterday when her toddler fell over, fully dressed on the wet floor and because I was right there, I picked him up to his feet faster than he realized he'd fallen and thought I'd done her a favour by eliminating him getting soaking wet. Apparently not by the glare. She had her hands full with her other LO. I thought moms would look out for each other in situations like that, but not all I guess.

That made me laugh kitbit - like a pinch defending dance - it's conjured up a really funny menatl image for me

Well GotArt carry on doing that because if it's ever my DD I'll be v grateful!

I was delighted that my baby could give so much pleasure to so many people (its very different when they become a morose, grumpy teenager and people are trying hard to avoid them ). I used to do voluntary work in old people's homes and always took my baby with me - the residents loved him and many said that they never, ever saw any babies or young children anymore. My grandmother had alzheimers and one of the things she loved doing was being taken to the cafe in Sainsburys and sitting near the 'play' area to watch the children .

I don't mind at all. It's an instinct sometimes as they so lovely and well, touchable.

Ragworts that's so lovely. I once read that many residents in old people's homes said the things they missed the most were children and pets.

I think it's fine.

Personally, I would not kiss anybody else's baby without permission. Not unless the baby's parent and I were already friends and I felt confident that they would not mind. And even then I would probably check first.

Random strangers being gentle and un-intimate, that's fine. Let my baby give them pleasure too.

That last part in your past Ragwort brought back memories of me going to visit my great nan in her care home when I was about 6. She had Alzheimers, and so did most of the people who lived there. They used to love talking to me, and touching my hands. It's so sad, I've got tears in my eyes remembering it now through an adults eyes.

I don't mind. I don't like them trying to put coins in his hand (something about crossing their hand with silver for luck) as I just think how germy the coins are, it seemed to happen when he was weeks old too and I was a bit on edge.

Also my great aunt shoved her finger in his mouth to check for teeth and my sil shoved her finger in his mouth to quieten him and that was a step too far!!

It really doesn't bother me as I love the thought of my babies giving pleasure to other people but what I don't like is as soon as they become toddlers they get ignored. I think it's really sad and unfair on them.