to ask what your DH / DP's do around the house, housework, cooking + childcare wise?

[superv1xen]

Apparently, mine does rather a lot according to my friends. half of them are gratefull if their DP so much as washes a cup but i digress...anyway According to me, I don't think he does enough. but AIBU expecting more from him as he works full time?

I work but only part time. (I have a small cleaning business and work 2 - 3 days a week) and today I am not working, however I have just sat down after 4 straight hours of washing, hoovering, dusting, mopping etc etc. as well as looking after DD (20 months) and doing the school run for DS, 4. And on the days I go to work, I STILL have to deal with the school run, and dropping DD at childminders etc. whereas, as he starts earlier and finishes later than me he doesnt have to consider the DC at all, he just goes to work then comes home. I keep the house pristine and he never even says anything!!! ie even comments it looks nice or anything.

I do the majority of it, all the "grunt work" ie deep clean kind of stuff, ie scrubbing bathrooms, kitchens etc, and all the laundry, whereas his efforts amount to "tidying around" and he'll occasionally do a load of washing but inevitably he will forget he has put it in so guess who ends up hanging it out and putting it away. we are meant to take it in turns cooking dinner but inevitably on the nights he is meant to be cooking, on at least one of them he cops out and buys us a takeaway and tries to make out its some kind of a "treat" (no DH its NOT a treat, its because you CBA to cook and I don't even like takeaways much, greasy fatty rubbish) . we are also meant to take it in turns taking the DC to bed (the one who isnt cooking does that) but half the time he just sits there past their bed time while they run riot as if he is almost waiting for me to "give in" and take them myself
and also i usually end up bathing and dressing the DC ready to go out at the weekends, he occasionally does but hardly ever. i don't want the DC to grow up in a culture of "mum does everything" as i did, and it took me a very long time to realise that, no, mums shouldnt do everything, it should be 50/50 and now i seem to be following old patterns :(

on the plus side though, he is v good at DIY, for example he recently laid a beautiful black and white tiled floor in our hallway and has put wood flooring in several rooms throughout the house since we have been here, and he is good at things like putting shelves up and things like that. so he does do a lot of that kind of stuff when it needs doing. so i feel bad in a way because he does a lot in some ways. and he often leaves me asleep in bed on saturday and sunday mornings and gives the kids their breakfast.

but me doing most of the housework is starting to get me down a bit and this kind of thing breeds resentment as i know only too well as i have been married before (as has he). its only since i started working that i have actually noticed that i do a lot more than him. not sure how to move forward really. :( in fact writing this down has actually made me think, shit, things are quite bad actually :(

Lots of sharing here. DH on 6am starts, so I do all ds morning stuff and nursery drop offs etc. Share nursery pick ups, dh does most cooking, I do most washing up. Dh does most evening stuff with ds, ie baths etc, but I am around. Share everything else (or rather I decide on diy priority then he takes 8x longer due to perfectionist nature).We are both in ft work (me 40 hrs, dh 55 hrs) and so we have always shared. It would be very hard and unhappy for us if we didn't.

I work 2 days a week. Dh works 5 days a week. He does: all the washing up, mows the lawns, any diy that needs doing, usually puts the bins out once a week, the occasional tidy of the living room, puts duvet covers on. I do the majority of the cooking, day to day tidying and cleaning though we do have a cleaner who comes once every 3 weeks. I do finance stuff, he does car stuff. At weekends we share looking after ds. During the week he gives ds his bath, I put him to bed while dh is washing up. Oh and I make dh's lunch for work! It works ok for us. Not sure who is better off tbh so it must be pretty even. Forgot - I do all the nights with ds who doesn't sleep well, but dh gets up with him every morning apart from saturday.

The most useful ante-natal class we had was when we listed domestic and childcare tasks and discussed who would do what. V useful.

Myself
cooking about 3-4 days a week
washing up when I don't cook
laundry, occasionally ironing
vacuuming
washing floors,
waxing, polishing
gardening

DH
cooking 3-4 times a week (we both cook, and often cook together)
washing up when he doesn't cook
sometimes puts laundry away
all household repairs and improvements
makes wine regularly
computer and car maintenance (son does this too)
shopping, I go with him often, but not always

When the kids were small he was totally a hands on Dad, he did anything I did and equally as well. He is still a great dad, and husband.

50/50 HERE.

I always cook though and he washes up.

Everything else shared although sometimes I suspect he does more...[bit of a clean freak]

I am a SAHM and DH works pretty long hours, but he does a couple of things around the place.

Gets DCs up Mon-Sat and gives them breakfast.
Does bedtimes on Sat and Sun (does most of the childcare on the weekends actually).
Puts the bins out and brings them in.
Empties the dishwasher every night (I hate emptying the dishwasher, no idea why it is more irritating than loading it).
Cleans the pool on the weekend.
He will take time off (or work from home if I am ill), he had two days off this week for this in fact.
We have a guy who comes once a week to deal with the yard and we have a cleaning lady once a week as well.

Given that he is out of the house 8am-9pm most weekdays I think he does enough.

He will also do something if I ask him to, but won't really do housework off his own bat because I like things the way I like things and he knows I get irritated if he does it 'wrong'.