to ask what your DH / DP's do around the house, housework, cooking + childcare wise?

[superv1xen]

Apparently, mine does rather a lot according to my friends. half of them are gratefull if their DP so much as washes a cup but i digress...anyway According to me, I don't think he does enough. but AIBU expecting more from him as he works full time?

I work but only part time. (I have a small cleaning business and work 2 - 3 days a week) and today I am not working, however I have just sat down after 4 straight hours of washing, hoovering, dusting, mopping etc etc. as well as looking after DD (20 months) and doing the school run for DS, 4. And on the days I go to work, I STILL have to deal with the school run, and dropping DD at childminders etc. whereas, as he starts earlier and finishes later than me he doesnt have to consider the DC at all, he just goes to work then comes home. I keep the house pristine and he never even says anything!!! ie even comments it looks nice or anything.

I do the majority of it, all the "grunt work" ie deep clean kind of stuff, ie scrubbing bathrooms, kitchens etc, and all the laundry, whereas his efforts amount to "tidying around" and he'll occasionally do a load of washing but inevitably he will forget he has put it in so guess who ends up hanging it out and putting it away. we are meant to take it in turns cooking dinner but inevitably on the nights he is meant to be cooking, on at least one of them he cops out and buys us a takeaway and tries to make out its some kind of a "treat" (no DH its NOT a treat, its because you CBA to cook and I don't even like takeaways much, greasy fatty rubbish) . we are also meant to take it in turns taking the DC to bed (the one who isnt cooking does that) but half the time he just sits there past their bed time while they run riot as if he is almost waiting for me to "give in" and take them myself
and also i usually end up bathing and dressing the DC ready to go out at the weekends, he occasionally does but hardly ever. i don't want the DC to grow up in a culture of "mum does everything" as i did, and it took me a very long time to realise that, no, mums shouldnt do everything, it should be 50/50 and now i seem to be following old patterns :(

on the plus side though, he is v good at DIY, for example he recently laid a beautiful black and white tiled floor in our hallway and has put wood flooring in several rooms throughout the house since we have been here, and he is good at things like putting shelves up and things like that. so he does do a lot of that kind of stuff when it needs doing. so i feel bad in a way because he does a lot in some ways. and he often leaves me asleep in bed on saturday and sunday mornings and gives the kids their breakfast.

but me doing most of the housework is starting to get me down a bit and this kind of thing breeds resentment as i know only too well as i have been married before (as has he). its only since i started working that i have actually noticed that i do a lot more than him. not sure how to move forward really. :( in fact writing this down has actually made me think, shit, things are quite bad actually :(

Well I do everything (including paperwork) and he does..... um....falling asleep and rough play with the kids.

We have DSS, and 2 DD's. I am studying and on placement 3 days pw. He works one shift a wk which is 2 and a half days long, and maybe a couple of extra nights.

Actually that's not fair he does iron his own shirts (and moans whilst doing it!)

I prefer the traditional roles so don't mind too much as long as I get appreciated for it, and the odd bar of galaxy every now and then. I would LOVE one lie in a week or even a fortnight but so far no luck, even though I'm awake every night bf dd2 every 5 mins!

DH bathes ds and puts him to bed.

DS doesn't wake in the night (he's one) and hasn't since he was 13 weeks. I got up then as I was bf and couldn't express very well.

We both get up in the morning when ds wakes up (between 7.30-8.30) I make breakfast for both, I dress my ds and myself.

Depending on who's at home and who's working we split childcare about 50/50.

I do the washing/ironing and dh puts it all away.

I clean every aspect of the house, dh does the mopping (wooden floors etc).

Dh always washes the cars, which I hate doing...and he can't fathom paying £5 for the drive through washer thing

Dp is a sahd to our 6mo and 22mo (and after school to 12/13/14 yo) and does most of the housework. Who ever feels like it cooks, he does all washing I will tackle the bathroom and kitchen if the mood takes me. We both get up in the night but he will do more than me as I have to get up for work and he can rest when the babies nap.

Oh and neither of us iron!

Dh is working 2 jobs atm but he puts the rubbish out, does the shopping, usually puts dc's to bed, once a week will take ds1 to school and about once or twice a month will take them off for the day to his parents.

I'm a sahm but am studying part time and I do everything else - cooking, cleaning, looking after ds2, washing etc.

I know some of my friends think I've got the short end of the stick, and that dh should do more but I think its fair and it (generally) works for us!!

actually DH kinda does everything, not that I expect him to and I am very grateful to him for it.

dh and I both work p-t, me mainly from home, him away, but partly at home, plus he's studying.

school and kid-ferrying: we pretty much split things down the middle. 2 days a week he does all the kid related stuff, 2 days a week I do it. the 5th day we play by ear.

cleaning: we just about scrape by on what our cleaner does in 4 hours but, tbh, it's not really enough and the house looks pretty grufty by the end of the week

washing: I do it but sometimes do it while he's doing something else like tidying up after dinner, sometimes get him to help

paperwork: he does most of it

weekend taxi-ing: he probably does a bit more than me - but I tend to be doing washing etc while he's doing it.

cooking: split equally.

shopping: he does more

overall I think we're about fair. if a little stereo-typical about our preferences.

Mine does childcare for 3 hours a week ,unless he is working away then i organise emergency childcare . His three hours covers the 2 days im working and he drops the youngest at the childminder . As far as childcare is concerned that is it . Housework ,he does none . Infact he actually does less now we are married than he did when he was single . He works fulltime , he gets up at 8 ,i get up between five and six in the morning . When he finishes work ,he relaxes whilst i sort the kids , make tea etc . It does infuriate me , but i dont have the emotional strength to fight about it at present .

Not much- he will

occassionally clean the kitchen/empty bins
mows the lawn
pegs washing out/brings it in.

No night duty with DD, sleeps an extra 1/2 hour every morning (we both work at the same place), stays in bed until about 11 every weekend (no alternate lie ins) hasn't cooked a meal or scrubbed a toilet since I've known him.

I'm p/t and somehow manage all housework/the washing on my days off -but I hate it but I'm not crazy about everything being spotless.
Tbh I would rather do this so sat and sundays are free for us to go out, which we do without fail

DH juggles childcare with me. He drops one off, I drop other off in the mornings (both in different places). Then in the evenings we ring each other and who ever is leaving work 1st or closest to home, we decide then who picks who up! Usually all in by 5.30pm at latest.

Meals - I cook on days off. Just who ever is in 1st sticks the tea on - usally me. DH always cooks at weekends.
Clean up - both generally togther. If not one will do baths, other will do dishwasher, as an example

Activities after school - I tend to juggle these, but DH is on hand if I can;t.

We seem to have it down to quite a slick routine

So the very awful sexist men above - are they really good looking or terribly rich or great in bed to make up for being worse than useless around teh place?

so i guess to make it easy ;
childcare - i do 99%
housework- i do 100%
gardening- i do 100%
taking kids to clubs etc including weekends -i do 100%
sorting the car out - i do it /he pays ,he never washes the car
putting the bins/recycling out -again me
going to the tip - me again
organissing presents/cards for rels - yep me again
Shopping-100% me
cooking- oh look me again
But he does pay for most things , so i think thats why he thinks its ok

50/50 when he is not at work

I'm a SAHM to 4 DC, DP gets up for the other ones as I am BFing DS.
During the week he is away before any of us wake so all breakfast/school runs up to me. I cook dinner for him coming in from work as it's nice for us all to sit round the table, DP clears up, baths we do jointly, homework jointly, he puts older DC to bed, he does his own ironing, I do everyone elses.

He mows the lawns/washes cars/mows the lawns.

During the week I do most things at the weekend it definitly 50/50 he also gets up and let me have an extra hour in bed on a Sunday.

at bumpsoon. please tell me you don't have a (paid) job.

bumpsoon!!!! is he better looking than Brad Pitt and richer than Donald Trump? cos i cant see why anyone would be with someone like that...

xenia TBH, he is bloody amazing in bed. I'd trade that up for a bit of help around the house though...

That sounds exactly like my husband apart from he works full time and sometimes wakes up 5am to go work. I stay at home with my little 18 month. I dont mind doing the house keeping as being a mother and a housewife is a job no dount about that.but seen as you work and look after the kids he sounds as if he needs a kick up the arse It should be 50/50 if both parents are working.

Did anyone see the programme that was on tv last month or so, comparing 2 couples and how much they did round the house. One lived in a green, fire burning stove lifestyle. and the other cuple the woman thougth she did it all, turned out she didn't.
Bet there was a thread about it, thta i missed.

Dh works 12 hr days in new job. always makes me a cup of tea and makes me a sandwich for work. He hoovers at the weekend, cleans the bathrooms and toilet. he is fab at diy and cars and sorts out new fence buiding, fixes cars. He cooked a fab full roast on sunday. he loves to bbq.
I work 2.5 days. I cook all meals and batch cook. i do all washing and ironing. i take ds1 to school, ds2 to nursery, and then go to work. on days off ds2 is with me. I take ds1 to 2 activities late at night, becasue dh is not home. I bath them, put them to bed. I sort out ds's school uniform. do all reading and homework.

I know dh does more than any other husband I know, but it still feels like I am doing all the 'grind', all the hard /unthankful bit of childcare.
At the weekend, he cleans the baths etc and then says lets go somewhere fab. he's like a goodtime dad. And I feel like yelling, no help with the ironing, look after the boys, do some of the grind for me, inside of being goodtime dad.

IABU, I fear.

You have all just confirmed that I was so right to make my DH my XH!

We bumble along doing about 50% each. As long as we both get roughly the same about of 'sit-down' time we are both happy.

Also, the mind set is important. We both look at ways of making each other's lives that wee bit easier. And it is very important to appreciate what the other does every day.

My Mum certainly didn't do everything and the four of us live with parters who do their fair share.

He will sometimes get up with the kids and give them breakfast while giving me a lie in - but I have already got kids' clothes ready for the day, school bags, packed lunch etc
He puts the bins out
looks after fish pond (but that's his!)
will occasionally offer to cook or get a take away

but that's about it! I'm a PT SAHM and do everything else! (ie I work PT)

We share pretty much. I do all the cooking and washing up, and help with laundry etc. OH does some tidying and laundry, but we have a cleaner too (inc ironing). I work full time, OH is sah.

Mine is a SAHD and does:

All shopping
4 days a week childcare, school run, homework, breakfast/lunch and their dinner
All the ironing
Day to day hoovering, general tidying etc
Anything car, DIY related

We share weekend cooking & other evening meals
We share any other cleaning as & when it needs doing (low standards ), gardening big DIY jobs like decorating.

It's taken us a good few months to find a happy compromise & I've definitely had to lower my cleaning standards/expectations since we swopped roles, (mind you DH irons everything & I never did so everyone looks smarter .
LCN