To get annoyed at people saying our parents had it easier?

[lesley33]

A recurrent theme in some posts is how much easier our parents had things. I am 43 and I don't think my parents had it easier than me.

I know a small number of people who bought houses in the 60's and 70's made money, but most people had it far harder than we do. Just a few things that were harder in 60's and 70's:

• no maternity leave until 1979
• no paternity leave
• standard working week included saturday morning
• two weeks annual leave was standard
• much much more overcrowding in houses
• many many houses had no inside toilet or bathroom
• common to have no central heating
• low car ownership
• very few children went to university
• narrow range of food available

Those who were parents then may be able to add more things. You may think one of the plus points is that many women stayed at home with the children. I have read that almost all of the growth in living standards since the 70's is fuelled by women working.

So you could stay at home and look after your children if you are happy to have a 70's standard of living.

My parents did have it easier than me, sorry

My dad was a blue collar factory worker. My mum worked in an office part time.

They own, outright, a £600K house.

Go figure.

We have much higher expectations, so put greater demands on ourselves.

Shirley - factory workers pay could be excellent. DDad earned more in the factory before he moved into the office, and only when he moved into management was he earning more than on the shop floor.

Depends.

House prices were less.

No tax credits etc.

I own my house and suspect I have more disposable income than my parents had.

And in the 70's we had indoor toilets, a family station wagon and even a colour telly!

Also their education had been "free" so no University debts

in someway my mum had it easier, but in alot of ways i have it easier.

housework is alot easier now, i have a dishwasher, automatic washing machine, tumble dryer. (my mum had a twintub and handwashed dishes)

child-free place make it easier with children, like buggy spots on buses.

i am stuggling to find anything that my mum had it easier

I am 40 and my parents had it really hard my dad was invalided out of the forces and unable to work mum was his carer. They had nothing and neither did we as a consequence I was determined that it would be different for me when I got married and had a family.
I also had a few friends whose families struggled to make ends meet and their parents worked.
You've got to remember that there are quite a few younger people on here to that weren't of the same generation though.

My parents left school at 14 and 16 years old. Both from extremely poor backgrounds. Both had their own businesses. They worked hard at the expense of finding time to be good parents to their kids. They made a lot of money and retired early. Their house purchased for £50k is now worth £2M

Food was fresh and local
My parents had 2 cars which was unusual at that time - they were necessary for the businesses. However more stuff was available without driving - food shops etc and generally only one parent worked - often locally. So the need for cars was less.

It was very common for my parents generation to retire early and to have profitted enormously from property market rises.

It is new houses that are small. My parents always lived in huge houses - mine is tiny. Outside toilets were certainly not the norm at this time.

I run one car and have a tiny home. There will be no early retirement for me and I will struggle to contribute a lot towards dd's degree costs should she choose to study for one.

Even my parents say that they had it easier than us and that they wouldnt want to be trying to bring up a family now.

It wasnt easier for everyone, but the baby boomers are definetely the rich generation in the main, better off as a generation than either their parents or their kids. My dad says that it is a huge disappointment for them that my sister and I struggle so much, they had always assumed that we would have it a bit easier than them as happened with previous generations.

The fact that my sister and her husband both have to work to pay their mortgage really gets to them in particular. I bought my house just before the housing boom (literally months before, my house doubled in value in 6 months), but sister and her husband missed out and to have the same type of house as me means they both have to work full time. My parents and aunts uncles etc managed on one full time wage, with a part time wage for extras, savings holidays etc. That was normal.

The food, car, central heating thing is relative. Very few people had them because no one expected them. Now most families wouldnt dream of living in a house with no central heating, but it was normal then. We just had electric blankets! Infact we were the first in our street to get CH. It wasnt usual to have a car, not unusual either but you werent odd if you didnt have one, kind of how it is viewed owning 2 cars now, nice but not necessary. And I dont recall us starving to death for a lack of ready meals, greek yoghurt or frozen yorkshire puddings!

Mine definitely did, sorry.

5 bed house, 1/2 an acre, sea views, private school x 2, SAHM. Retired mid 50-ies, sold family home for 4 times purchase price, bought current home (same as first but bigger, with outbuildings) and another yacht for less. That house now worth 4 times purchase price, no mortgage.

When chatting to my dad about needing to move from our 2 bed character terrace (that cost the same as their current house) he advised me to move into a 4 or 5 bed place, he couldn't understand why our generation wastes so much money moving so often when he and mum only moved twice. I did point out we could afford to buy their place off them for what they paid for it, got a in return.

It wouldn't annoy me as much if they understood or demonstrated any empathy, but they genuinely think people are just feckless. Needless to say they weren't best pleased when I told them we were thinking of moving counties to be able to afford the proper family home they espouse.

My Mother is s doctor and just stopped for a few years while she had her kids. Should add that she didnt do much as we had a housekeeper. She went back to work after a few years, just in a hobby practice dad set up for her. She didnt have to work, life was easy. 6 kids no child care needed.

I think some parents had it easier and some of us have it easier.
We have more disposable income than my parents, but my dmum readily admits that the parenting expectations now are far greater so there are pluses and minuses.
My dmum pointed out to me that:

• children played out most of the day when we were young.
• she could leave us playing out and go to the shops without concern
• we walked ourselves to school
• she wasn't expected to be a "yummy mummy"
• we had fewer clothes and therefore less laundry (ie we were dirtier! )
• we had fewer toys so keeping our stuff under control was far easier
• there was less pressure on her to make sure the food was healthy
• our expectations were far simpler eg colouring book, not a ds game etc
• the house was smaller so she had less cleaning

The things that were harder were:

• they had less money
• early on they shared a car
• ddad came home for a full meal at lunchtime
• she had to entertain ddad's colleagues in the house
• it was ok for ddad to go to the pub every night and leave her to it
• she did all the housework
• no dishwasher, washing machines were a bit more laborious

I am sure there are hundreds more on either side of the fence. I think we have won some things and lost some things and everyone's circumstances are different, always!

Oh, and we had two cars, central heating, yachts, dinghies etc...this was the 80-ies though so maybe a bit later than some.

My mum had her legs slapped by a midwife whilst in labour and was fixed to do it on her back. My dad was not allowed to be at the birth. We had no inside toilet or bathroom and until I was ten, no car. The didn't buy a house until I was 14, and both went to uni when I was 11. My mum didn't start work til I was 14.

Same here ninky. owned 8 bedroom house, 2 cars, both had free degrees, holiday house at the beach, all 6 kids at private school (one at boarding school). My dad spent his whole life trying to make sure each of his kids had enough for a deposit for a home.

Yes my parents think I am feckless too Ninky! Mainly because I have more new clothes than my mother did!!! Clothes are a lot cheaper now and also I need to dress a certain way for my job. Even if I dressed 100% from jumble sales I still couldn't afford a bigger house but my mother seems to think that would be the magic answer

hairylights you just described my birth ecperience in 2004 (except hubby was there)

Actually my mother has always spent more on a cleaner than I do on clothes...needless to say I don't have a cleaner.

obviously it depends on the individuals. i think have it easier than my parent but my expectations of life are not bound up in material things and how big my house is.

there is a sizeable minority of baby boomers who definitely rode a wave of prosperity all their lives but believe me they rode that wave over the heads of alot of others who are now struggling to survive on crappy pensions

I would disagree with the Op.

I am 42 and grew up in that era.

The only debt most people had back then was their mortgage, very few people had credit cards, and people lived within their means. Foreign holidays were a luxury not a right, and it was almost unheard of for people to have two cars. There were also a lot less expenses than today, which people take for granted, like Sky TV, Internet, mobile phones.

Children did not get a fortune spent on them at Christmas because those things were not available.

Most mums didnt work, or worked part time so childcare was rarely an expense, and the dads wage covered all the household expenses.

My parents got married in '79, had my brother five months later. They were (almost) 19.

There wasn't a lot of money so I think it was hard in that way, but at the same time there wasn't so much pressure (as carrots said none of the "yummy mummy" stuff, etc). So about a horse apiece, I'd say. :)

Everybody is an individual: some families have come down in life and others have moved up. And changes that made life easier for many people have made it harder for some.

I remember my mum complaining that life was so much easier when she was young "because you had paid help". And my dad muttering: "the people I knew were the paid help".

On the whole, my life has been quite similar to that of my mother, but some things were more comfortable for her because she lived in Sweden where there is plenty of space and you can afford a large house or flat even on a low income: she thinks we're desperately overcrowded as a 4 people family in a standard 3 bedroom semi. It's all about perspective.