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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get annoyed at people saying our parents had it easier?

138 replies

lesley33 · 20/03/2011 09:08

A recurrent theme in some posts is how much easier our parents had things. I am 43 and I don't think my parents had it easier than me.

I know a small number of people who bought houses in the 60's and 70's made money, but most people had it far harder than we do. Just a few things that were harder in 60's and 70's:

no maternity leave until 1979
no paternity leave
standard working week included saturday morning
two weeks annual leave was standard
much much more overcrowding in houses
many many houses had no inside toilet or bathroom
common to have no central heating
low car ownership
very few children went to university
narrow range of food available

Those who were parents then may be able to add more things. You may think one of the plus points is that many women stayed at home with the children. I have read that almost all of the growth in living standards since the 70's is fuelled by women working.

So you could stay at home and look after your children if you are happy to have a 70's standard of living.

OP posts:

tyler80 · 20/03/2011 18:37

"I think it is difficult to judge this just on your own experience, as your experience may not be typical."

You said it yourself. You're using figures from a 1961 census when some people's parents would not have even been teenagers. It's very likely that it's these same people who are saying their parents had it easier.

You're saying other people's experiences are not typical but then using data that fits in with your own age/experience which again might not be typical :-)

theyoungvisiter · 20/03/2011 18:45

Agree fully with Tyler - my parents were barely out of nappies in the 61 census! So quoting that has no bearing on my parents' experience of raising kids.

Also please note that the OP did not criticise people saying "how much easier the baby boomers had it" or "how much easier 70s parents had it".

What annoyed here was people saying "our parents" had it easier. Our parents. Not yours. Not hers. Not Mrs and Mrs Statistically-Typical.

Original poster

lesley33 · 20/03/2011 18:48

In fairness I talk in my post about the 60's and 70's.

OP posts:

theyoungvisiter · 20/03/2011 18:53

Also the census as a whole tells you relatively little about how families are being raised.

The % in one room will be greatly influenced by the number of single-person childless households today. It doesn't tell you much about how many families were over-crowded, then and now.

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 19:00

I think that annoying thing is that the OP seems to state if we all went to have less expectations then we could stay at home.

'So you could stay at home and look after your children if you are happy to have a 70's standard of living.'

Which for a large proportion of people is wrong. There are many people that wouldnt be able to keep a roof over their heads in expensive areas. Yes in more expensive areas you may be in an area a lot of people want to be in, but there could be a lot of social problems, over crowding, deprevation etc. I know it is big in my area and I expect it is like it in some areas in SE etc.

It is annoying someone coming on saying you just rearranged your income and had lower expectations then you could stay at home when that isnt true at all. Isnt MN supposed to be made up largely of people on above average incomes? I think that it is a bit annoying to be told 'a few things that were harder back then' when a lot of people are dealing with a lot of what you wrote and struggling right now.

annapolly · 20/03/2011 19:07

I think every generation has it easier than the last.

The expectations are so much higher.

My PILs bought their own house for 6k it is now worth £600K, but this is really irrelevant.

When they first married they had no furniture other than a chair and an oven. They worked long hours, had no car.

I think a lot of people compare their situation when they have a young family to that of their parents when they have retired.

Anyone who buys a house in any age will see a huge increase in its value 50 years later.

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 19:10

'Anyone who buys a house in any age will see a huge increase in its value 50 years later.'

True but again dependent on the area house prices are extortionate compared to income. In my area you are looking at least 15 times average income for an ex council house. Back then you would actually have got a council house (or at least a better chance) and been able to buy it for peanuts. (annoying as I have friends parents who bought in the right to buy scheme for 16k and are now selling for 165k!).

Bogeyface · 20/03/2011 19:21

Yes but noodle, thats the reason that there is no social housing left, because the baby boomers bought it all in the 80's and are now living on the profits. Their own children are now paying the price for that in the lack of affordable rental properties.

So not only did they do wonderfully well out of the housing boom, they crapped on their own kids in the process, and I speak as one of the crapped on!

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 19:25

Haha exactly bogeyface but the poor things had to have the houses no one of our generation will ever afford but they did it with no furniture! Well I thinkI know which is better than having kids and cramming them in bedsits and 1 bed flats as a lot of people have to do now. Whilst their parents who have been brought up with the man working, the woman staying at home have now realised equity in their council houses and are driving around in new cars. grrrr.

Sorry slightly emotive subject. Dont get me started on london second home owners

annapolly · 20/03/2011 19:26

Yes agree right to buy a different story.

I purchased my first home for £21,500 the repayments were £283 per month including endowment policy. DH earned £80 PW. The interest rate was 16%

I now have a £150K mortgage which costs £293 per month.

My DDs say I had it easy but it just wasn't true. We had to watch every penny.

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 19:32

We work 70 hours and get £6 and £6.50 an hour. We own a flat and we are paying £625 a month for it. I am in a very lucky position as it has 2 beds.

I have friends in one beds and bedsits with kids who are paying £500+ and they get no help again on the minimum wage or close to it. No chance of getting a wage promotion here. Even managers are on £6.50ish.

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 19:34

If I had an ex council house I would be looking at 850 - 1000 a month repayments for a lot round here. That is with no area of my county meeting national average wage (or anywhere even close). We only bring in 1580 and that is with CB and top ups. How on earth could we live in a house. That is with us working 70 hours sometimes more.

Its not just me all my friends are in the same situation. We are competing with loaded people from London like solicitors. Its just not possible. Then some areas sit with no one in any of the properties for months on end.

tyler80 · 20/03/2011 20:12

As we rent unfurnished we own a fair amount of furniture already - all in all around 500 quids worth I reckon. Now if only I hadn't recklessly spent all that money in IKEA I'd be able to afford that house after all

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