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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you how many sexual partners is too many?

80 replies

bobbyshaftosgirl · 19/03/2011 21:57

and then take a deep breath before admitting that I don't know the exact number I've had (lost count [embarassed])but that its at least 30...

OP posts:
amerryscot · 19/03/2011 21:58

2

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 19/03/2011 21:59

3589

SueWhite · 19/03/2011 21:59

There isn't really such a thing as 'too many', as long as they were all mutually satisfying and happy-making.

SueWhite · 19/03/2011 21:59

Oh, my personal count is 2 btw

gapbear · 19/03/2011 22:00
ChasingSquirrels · 19/03/2011 22:01

at the same time?

TattyDevine · 19/03/2011 22:01

It depends on your age and personal cicumstances for me

If its so many that the person must have had several on the go at once, or gone from one to the other in such quick succession that there was never any build up or relationship being formed or true feelings developing then I'd feel that person was missing out on a vital element of being sexually active.

Otherwise, I dont think you can put a number on it.

nurseblade · 19/03/2011 22:03

I lost count around 50. Couldn't care less how many my partner has had and he doesn't care how many I've had either.

AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 22:05

Grin I was laughing at the film Mr and Mrs Smith last week when they said -

'John Smith: How many? Ok... I'll go first, then. I don't keep exact count, but I'd say, uh, high 50s, low 60s. I mean, I know I've been around the block an all, but...
Jane Smith: 312.
John Smith: What? How?
Jane Smith: Some were two at a time. '

So I'd say however many you've been with is just enough.

Nowt to do with anyone else.

Original poster
bobbyshaftosgirl · 19/03/2011 22:07

No, one at a time! I'm 38 and been married 5 years so it was at least 29 before I met DH aged 30. Hmm

OP posts:
Jellykat · 19/03/2011 22:07

5 if they were really crap.

WOODTs figure of 3589 sounds about right if they were good Grin

beesimo · 19/03/2011 22:08

1s enough but he has to be the right one!

Original poster
bobbyshaftosgirl · 19/03/2011 22:09

just having a moment of guilt reflection thinking how I'd feel if DD had the same when she got to my age Hmm

OP posts:
ChasingSquirrels · 19/03/2011 22:09

sorry, my "at the same time" wasn't to your number, but to the question.

hissymissy · 19/03/2011 22:11

It's ok, I lost count 10 years ago, the running total was around the 20 mark then, so... Wink

How long is a piece of string?

KingofHighVis · 19/03/2011 22:11

Not enough

monstersplatter · 19/03/2011 22:12

I was liberal at university. Enjoyed sex and didn't want to be tied down to anyone. A girl can only go so long with her top drawer of toys! I made a decision to behave as I did and have no idea how many there were. My dp dabbled in swinging for a while so his track record is even better worse than mine. I think it depends on the person. If you only want to get married once and don't believe in sex before marriage, it would be 2. If you want to turn the world into a giant orgy, there probably isn't an upper limit! It's what you're comfortable with. So long as you have no regrets, you can be happy.

winnybella · 19/03/2011 22:13

What does it matter?

butterpieify · 19/03/2011 22:15

I've lost count too Blush In my defence, I have only ever had two proper boyfriends (one was for four years and I was engaged to, the other one I have been with for five years and am married to) and I have never had unprotected sex with anyone except those two, and anyway, it all depends what you call sex, and if everyone consents, nobody is deceived and is simply exploring things, where is the harm?

I got to the point where I wasn't enjoying it so much, so now I have a normal married, slightly boring but lovely, sex life :)

Married/relationship sex is totally different to one off sex, but both can be joyful and loving - you don't have to know someone to love them, and when I was very sexually active, I was on a massive high (I'm bipolar) - I would never dream of doing such things now, I'm too shy to talk to the bloody shop assistant!

Still, all experience.

bringonthegoat · 19/03/2011 22:18

Too many for what? [geuine question] If it's more than acceptable number, what is the implication? Confused

GnomeDePlume · 19/03/2011 22:21

I remember once hearing that the correct number is 3:

  1. The beast who had your virginity
  2. Your first true love
  3. Your current partner

All others are figments of your imagination and therefore dont need to be mentioned.

Original poster
bobbyshaftosgirl · 19/03/2011 22:39

Gnome - i like it!, 3 it is then (or maybe 4 - I've had 2 true loves other than DH if I'm honest!)

Bringon - I guess I mean too many in the context of social acceptability? I'd never admit that number to anyone other than my closest bestest friends of whom I'm lucky enough to have 2. DH doesn't have a clue how many it is, I suspect he thinks it is quite high though so he has never asked. I've never asked him either as I suspect his is a lot lower and I just want to avoid the subject if I'm honest.

OP posts:
BabyDubsEverywhere · 19/03/2011 22:45

DH is 74, so thats what i plan to finish on Grin

I started early, I have had open relationships at times, not all one at a time, but i never hurt anyone and no one hurt me, I enjoyed every single one, often more than once so Im comfortable with my 'number'

I think i have actually had more sexual encounters with women than my DH Shock

Ahh well, tis all good fun really Smile

BabyDubsEverywhere · 19/03/2011 22:45

Shit...cross posts

I meant 3

Blush
expatinscotland · 19/03/2011 22:45

Who bloody well cares?