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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you how many sexual partners is too many?

80 replies

bobbyshaftosgirl · 19/03/2011 21:57

and then take a deep breath before admitting that I don't know the exact number I've had (lost count [embarassed])but that its at least 30...

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 19/03/2011 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSchadenfreude · 19/03/2011 22:51

I don't think you can ever have too many. Grin

hardhatdonned · 19/03/2011 22:58

Your age halved then add 5 is meant to be the respectable amount which I think is utter bollocks personally. It's however many you're happy with having.

onlyjuststillme · 19/03/2011 23:03

It has to be different for different people. 10 for a 16 year old is quite high but for a single 35 year old?

I think as long as you are ok with it nothing else matters.

Bur If you shag around to validate yourself even 1 or 2 can be too many.

I was bloody lucky to find DH when I did so my number is low but I dont judge anyone who has not been so blessed. Why would I?

I wouldnt feel bad if DD's number was higher than mine. I would feel bad if she wanst respecting herself or using condoms (although I admit I do hope i dont have to deal with this worry for a good number of years yet) I also hope than gnome is wrong and its not a beast who takes her virginity! Mine was with my first true love (although he did turn into a twat I dont regret it) I would hope DD will take the same principle that I did. "You will remember losing your virginity for your whole life, make it a good memory, and dont regret it"

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/03/2011 23:57

My theory was always more than single figures, less than triple figures. I stuck with that!

PurveyorOfWoo · 20/03/2011 00:00

Stop counting.

A small figure makes you a prude, a large one a slag. Get this, there is no perfect number. Forget it and move on

BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 00:06

count how many were crap shags. add to that the ones that were good but treated you like crap afterwards, then add teh ones you might not really fully 100% wanted to have slept with but did cause you felt sorry for them and you have your number for how many is too many. Smile

bigbeagleeyes · 20/03/2011 00:23

Boohoo That made me laugh.
That is definitely the right answer.

JustaNickname · 20/03/2011 01:26

I've had 1 and its because I met my ex at 15 and fell pregnant with ds at 16. I split up with my ex in October and to be honest I'm actually scared of having sex with someone else!

giantpurplepeopleeater · 20/03/2011 02:04

HOwever many you are happy with , as long as you don't regret any.

IMO if you regret one - thats the one too many!

BetamaxBandit · 20/03/2011 04:50

If you can still keep count then you're doing ok. IMO.

CheerfulYank · 20/03/2011 05:53

I've had 5. It's just a number. DH has only had me. It's just a number. As long as you're not doing it because you think you should, I think you're fine.

Proud2bFeminine · 20/03/2011 06:51

I had to have a think about this, and I'm still not saying Grin

Georgimama · 20/03/2011 06:56

I've had 6. I don't know how many DH has had. Don't care either as long as none of them were after me.

Yukana · 20/03/2011 07:01

I don't think it really matters. :) Only one here for me.

Heracles · 20/03/2011 08:09

If you like to smoke after sex then try to have fewer than 15 partners a day.

mrsravelstein · 20/03/2011 08:13

heracles heh heh made me smile over my cornflakes

mrsravelstein · 20/03/2011 08:14

as a side issue, i'm surprised how many of you know the number of partners your DHs have had... i've never asked him, he's never asked me... would hate to think about it.

BlooferLady · 20/03/2011 08:20

Ha ha I've only had 1 Grin!

Consequently when I hear of those who've had dozens of sexual partners I am jealous consider them no better than hooers of Babylon.

Pannacotta · 20/03/2011 08:25

I think I am quite open minded but I met a bloke recently who has slept with at least 100 women (he wasnt sure of exact number) and this did strike me as rather a lot...

MinnieBar · 20/03/2011 08:51

Half your age and add 5 - then I've got a lot of catching up to do, out of my way!

If you want to be really childish specific, you take your age now minus the age you lost your virginity (ie no of sexually active years)

Eg 30-20 = 10 (I'm deliberately keeping it simple!)

Then you take away the number of years you have been in a monogamous relationship (so you're left with your 'single' years)

Eg 10 - 6 = 4

Then you divide the number of partners you've had TOTAL by the number of single years

Eg 8 / 4 = 2

And that's your 'ratio' rather than your number and is supposedly more comparable.

Apologies, I read a chicklit book that had this in and for some stupid reason I remember it.

MinnieBar · 20/03/2011 08:53

I'm imagining you all working it out now. You've got til the bell rings? Grin

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 09:01

30 isnt many if you didnt mean until 30. I would say that is low if you didnt mean your husband until that old.

My husband is my 13th and we met at 18 lol. I dont think it really matters really. Its not like most people in public know what how many I have been with so its not really relevant. As long as you had fun and were careful I think its fine. I will say the same to my daughter to.

SardineQueen · 20/03/2011 09:18

It doesn't matter IMO. There is no "right" answer.

cory · 20/03/2011 10:24

errrr.... one more than you wanted?