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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to secretly judge a mum who doesn't work but bought her son's 1st birthday cake at Waitrose?

306 replies

howdidthishappenthen · 15/03/2011 20:56

Note that she's a REALLY one-up-manship yummy mummy who doesn't work because 'money is the man's responsibility - I'm the homemaker'. Then I hear her DH praising her for 'buying' a great cake for DS's 1st birthday. OK, I accept not everyone can cook. And after a few years, of with a few DCs of course we're all going to revert to shop cakes. And Waitrose cakes taste nice and lots of my own efforts are a bit dodgy. But no job, and the 1st birthday? C'mon... make an effort!

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 15/03/2011 21:11

YABU

(I forgot that bit)

SeeJaneKick · 15/03/2011 21:12

DaydreamDOlly

Apparently some people feel that you have to justify being a SAHM by baking cakes!

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/03/2011 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Timeforanap · 15/03/2011 21:12

LOL at bran's post, a LOT of things have been justified like that in our house!

I like baking and so does DH and DH's Mum, so we have always managed to produce a homemade cake. Many hours have been spent and tears shed over birthday cakes though. I once tentatively suggested a bought cake (they often look miles better than homemade, TBH), but DH was shocked and disappointed in me, so I made one. See, the thing is, some of us just do have emotional hang ups about children's birthday cakes. I would defend anyones right to buy their child's cake, and feel a little residual judginess too. And feel guilty about that. How screwed up is that?! Blush

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:13

i am just wondering A) what exactly it is about not baking a cake that implies someone is gay and B) why on earth being gay would be something we should stop being if we are, actually, gay.

i dont understand the relevence of the word.

Iwishiwasasleep · 15/03/2011 21:13

YABU. There are lots of reasons she didn't bake one. I would be buying a cake for the DD's. My oven is crap. Much prefer a nice shop bought one than the pile-o-shite the oven would offer up.

Mellowfruitfulness · 15/03/2011 21:13

If you asked a baby 'What would you prefer, an hour playing with Mum and a bought cake, or an hour left howling while Mum makes a cake? (Which Baby won't eat. Because ... cake's not good for babies).' I wonder what Baby would say.

Should this SAHM also make all Baby's clothes??

I bet she spends all her freee time dancing naked on the lawn. I really hope so. Because last time I looked after a baby, I didn't have time to do anything else.

LegoStuckinMyhoover · 15/03/2011 21:14

I am shocked!

maybe you could write to the Daily Mail? I can see it now; front page news...'Out of work mum buys birthday cake from posh food hall' Confused. Would Nettos have been ok?

Mellowfruitfulness · 15/03/2011 21:14

Except look after the baby, I mean. I didn't dance naked on the lawn. At least not during the day.

usualsuspect · 15/03/2011 21:14

fucking lol

AnnoyingOrange · 15/03/2011 21:15

IIRC I don't think we even had a cake for ds's first birthday as we spent it in an airport

DownyEmerald · 15/03/2011 21:15

I didn't even get dd a cake for her first birthday. I realise now what a Bad Mum I am.

She loves choosing her birthday cakes from Waitrose - it's all part of the build-up to the big Event.

figcake · 15/03/2011 21:16

I just re-read the OP. It seems that the real issue is that her DH praised her for buying the cake from Waitrose.

livingindc · 15/03/2011 21:16

i bet your homemade cakes consist of using a packet mix. so, hardly "home made". you're full of s*.

TheSecondComing · 15/03/2011 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 15/03/2011 21:17

yabu

Not everyone can, nor wants, to bake. Not everyone sees the ability to bake a cake as being some major achievements on a birthday. Maybe she has put "the effort" in elsewhere.

I always buy DD's cake in generally. It looks good andit tastes good. And my baking isn't great.

I can make a mean 3 or 4 course meal for several though, with no stress.

Each to their own.

ImeldaM · 15/03/2011 21:17

I am SAHM & always buy shop-bought cakes because they taste better. Is it about the effort? Well, I'd prefer to put my 'effort' into other things and have a tasty cake
(I love shop-bought birthday cake!!, my mum always baked ours so maybe thats where my craving shop-bought cake comes from Blush Sorry Mum)

abenstille · 15/03/2011 21:18

Are you for real?

MrsPresley · 15/03/2011 21:18

With 4 DC, eldest is now 27 I've worked out that so far my DC have had 79 birthdays between them so far and I have made the grand total of 1 birthday cake Grin

Lizzylou · 15/03/2011 21:18

I bake all the birthday cakes, always have done.

DH looked after the boys whilst I did because for him, the taste of my buttercream heavy concoctions was worth it.

They look like utter shite though. Apart from DS2's 4th Birthday Gruffalo cake, that was a triumph.

I don't really give a shit what anyone else does though in all honesty. I just wish I could decorate my cakes to look as good as they taste.

libelulle · 15/03/2011 21:18

My oven has no gas marks or other means of calibrating temperature beyond 'really very hot', 'sort of warm' and 'stone cold'. OP I invite you to come to my house and make DD an edible birthday cake.

mumsgotatum · 15/03/2011 21:18

YANBU....I think that it's worth baking home made birthday cake

TheBolter · 15/03/2011 21:19

Grin funny thread

theresapotatoundermysink · 15/03/2011 21:20

How dare she! She should at least be making herself useful in the kitchen if she's a SAHM.

StayFrosty · 15/03/2011 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.