Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 11 12 13

Original poster

to secretly judge a mum who doesn't work but bought her son's 1st birthday cake at Waitrose?

306 replies

howdidthishappenthen · 15/03/2011 20:56

Note that she's a REALLY one-up-manship yummy mummy who doesn't work because 'money is the man's responsibility - I'm the homemaker'. Then I hear her DH praising her for 'buying' a great cake for DS's 1st birthday. OK, I accept not everyone can cook. And after a few years, of with a few DCs of course we're all going to revert to shop cakes. And Waitrose cakes taste nice and lots of my own efforts are a bit dodgy. But no job, and the 1st birthday? C'mon... make an effort!

OP posts:

Deliainthemaking · 16/03/2011 23:43

withagoat

I bought a cake from Cosco for my 1yr old because it would be big enough to cater for all guests, not all cakes are bought for pure laziness ya know

sheesh, give the judgeypants a vacation some people

UntitledNo2 · 17/03/2011 00:35

Ah, I have never had a homemade birthday cake in my life, and my Mum was a SAHM until I was 10. In fact, one year, she forgot about cake until the last minute, so I had a Romantica bought from the Shop 'N' Save down the road. Only now do I realise that she was displaying her utter contempt for me by neglecting to bake cakes for me. The bitch. How have I made it to 26 without serious therapy?!

MrsDeVere
"Besides it an absolute rule of law that 1st birthday = chocolate catapiller cake." Hehe. For DP's 30th Birthday party last Dec, I had planned a beautiful, elaborate home-baked cake. Except, I was bloody busy, so forgot to order the decorative cake pan I needed in time. Then I planned to get him a made to order gingerbread house form a little cafe nearby... But I forgot that too. So, he ended up with a chocolate caterpillar cake from Tesco. .

UntitledNo2 · 17/03/2011 00:39

Whoops, posted too soon.

Ehm, yup, so he ended up with a caterpillar cake. For his 30th. Strangely enough though, he didn't give a shite. A cake is a cake, right? Surely OP, you have more important things to worry about?

manicinsomniac · 17/03/2011 01:03

While I do think you are being unreasonable to worry about what other people choose to do for their children I am surprised at the number of people who think shop bought cakes taste good?! I'll admit I'm no cake expert but parties I've been to with shop bought cakes the sponge tends to be dry, the buttercream almost chemical tasting and the (often ready to roll) icing like plastic. You can't compare the sponge of a homemade and a shop bought cake, home made sponges are light, airy and fresher.

But maybe I shop in the wrong places!

I think the culture of homemade cakes has maybe kind of gone since we were children?
I think it's sad in a way though. I can remember nearly all of my birthday cakes from being a child. My mum did a toadstool, numberous princesses (barbies stuffed in pudding bowl cakes!), country cottages (with playmobil characters playing in the garden - icing stayed in the feet for months), a hedgehog and a rainbow.

They're something I really value from my childhood and I do try and do that for my girls. I don't know if they care but they like 'helping' ice them!

Although on the time thing, I had to let my oldest stay up till midnight on her last birthday in order to get the cake made in time because I was working late. Now that is probably far more flameworthy than buying a cake!

Silver1 · 17/03/2011 01:12

Freshmint that cake sounds genius! Did you get pictures?

I missed out on my son's first birthday, and I damn near killed myself trying to make a cake for his second. NEVER AGAIN. Waitrose all the way for me this year.

Katy1368 · 17/03/2011 01:41

Lordy I just bought a waitrose cake for my DD's 3rd - what does this say about me!!! Gotta say yabu.

gooseberrybushes · 17/03/2011 02:53

Oh am so way behind on this! But basically it's the working mums who obsess about home-made I think. Out of guilt. As soon as you give up work you realise -- why? why? Supermarket cake is marvellous.

SonicMiddleAge · 17/03/2011 03:03

Only cake buying I have ever judged was someone who had a specially commissioned store bought cake for a one year olds b'day party. The shop was 30 min away, and it necessitated a special trip to get it i.e. an hour round trip. A store bought cake that's actually more hassle than home made. For a one year old. Genius.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 17/03/2011 03:53

I do sort of think that someone who wafts around saying shit like "it's the man's job to worry about money, I am the homemaker" should be judged as often as possible. Not making a cake is as good a reason as any.

Reminds me of all those women who have blogs called things like "One Frugal Mummy And Her Montessori Children" but who seem to spend a suspicious amount of their time blogging about their wholesome crafting activities rather than actually interacting with the children. I don't care if you spend your day making eggcarton snakes or on Mumsnet, but if you're going to do the latter, don't go on about how you're the former.

MadamDeathstare · 17/03/2011 03:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anonymosity · 17/03/2011 04:54

what, is no one prepared to fork out for a Jane Asher cake?

goodness me...those poor deprived birthday cake eating children

CheerfulYank · 17/03/2011 05:09

Funny...here it's "the thing" to buy very expensive themed caked from the bakery. We don't bake certainly.

Well...I do. But only cupcakes, my cakes are shit. You should have seen the "castle" I tried to make for DS last year. Bright yellow slope-sided thing with a much too scary plastic dragon stuck on top. The horror!

CheerfulYank · 17/03/2011 05:10

cakes, rather

GotArt · 17/03/2011 05:24

Maybe cakes aren't her forte. I love baking! I made muffins for DD's 2nd birthday, but alas, I hate cooking, (hence why I married a Chef) and there was no way in hell I was going to bust my ass cooking lunch for 10 two year olds and their parents and lug it all over the venue but had DH's friend cater the party from his pull pork restaurant. I'm pretty sure though I'll be buying a specialty cake next time though but one from a proper cake shop even, not a grocery store. They're just so damn nice. I should add that although I work from home, I'm an artist and not starving because I'm married to a Chef.

Misfitless · 17/03/2011 06:19

howdidthishappen
I can't believe you.
Haven't read the whole thread - just the first couple of pages.
The poor woman probably couldn't take the pressure of baking a cake knowing that you'd be there judging her efforts - let's face it, it wouldn't have been good enough, would it?

I really hope this woman is a MNer and sees this threads and realises what you're like.
Have some biscuits and get a life:

PS They are shop bought and guess what - Asda's Smart Price (oh the shame!!).

startail · 22/03/2011 21:02

Mumleigh I can't top ending up in A and E falling of the stool making birthday cake. However DD2's 4 birthday pictures have violet party dress and matching violet bruised eye.
I thought if I put big sister on the kitchen chair and little sister on the lower chair they can both watch me decorate the cake, but I won't have to worry about DD2 getting up and down when she gets bored.
She stepped the wrong way and went down between the chairs, bang into the higher one

sausagerollmodel · 22/03/2011 21:36

OP I agree with you in that shop bought cakes are never as nice as homemade. But maybe she's doesn't know how to make cakes and doesn't want to risk trying to make a cake for her son's 1st birthday! The next best thing to do is buy the best cake she can afford so Waitrose is probably a good choice in that respect.
First birthdays aren't worth making a lot of fuss about, the baby won't appreciate it, it's more for the parents and family to celebrate. Any time spent lovingly decorating a home made cake would be wasted on a child that age.
So on balance I wouldn't totally judge her for this. Also some 1 year olds can be very clingy and it can be impossible to get anything done around the house and when they have a nap there is probably housework, ironing to do etc. .Just because she doesn't work doesn't mean she has loads of time to spare. You don't know how she spends her time, I would probably judge her if she ignored her son while icing cakes!

IWantToBeAFairyWhenIGrowUp · 22/03/2011 22:16

*I bake all the birthday cakes, always have done.

DH looked after the boys whilst I did because for him, the taste of my buttercream heavy concoctions was worth it.

They look like utter shite though. Apart from DS2's 4th Birthday Gruffalo cake, that was a triumph.

I don't really give a shit what anyone else does though in all honesty. I just wish I could decorate my cakes to look as good as they taste.*

Me too. I enjoy making them.

I couldn't give two hoots if someone wishes to buy their cakes from Harrods or Lidl - each to their own.

oldraver · 22/03/2011 22:19

Why should it matter if she works or not, maybe like me she cant be arsed to make a cake.

NewPathways · 22/03/2011 22:24

I'm hungry now.

I really need some cake.

Kandinsky · 22/03/2011 22:55

I can't believe I have failed my children so badly by not buying them a hedgehog or caterpillar cake for their 1st birthdays. Thank god MN is anonymous and no on can report me to Social services. Why oh why was this rule not in any of the childcare books I read. Couldn't we have a highway code type book of these so I know what to do.

PercyPigPie · 22/03/2011 23:05

I so hope I don't know you in real life. You say she is into one-up-manship!

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/03/2011 23:07

I have to say, hand on heart, that (after a glorious four years on Mumsnet) this is my favourite thread title EVER.

mikimoo · 22/03/2011 23:09

And if she had baked it herself and it had been an unholy mess, i guess you still would find room to criticize....

Jeez...

vintageteacups · 22/03/2011 23:12

Perhaps she can't cook for toffee!

I'd much rather eat a lovely waitrose birthday cake than something dry and inedible

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 11 12 13