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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that the most interesting adults I know were wild and untameable as children?

166 replies

duchesse · 14/03/2011 09:06

I fact I can't think of a single interesting adult I know who was good, sweet, obedient, well-mannered, helpful and selfless as a child.

AIBU to think that maybe it's unreasonable to expect children to be all these things? I mean, sure, I expect them to work towards being good as they get older (in fact DS who was WILD!! is almost human now at 17.5), but I welcome a slightly wild streak in my children- I think it's a sign of individuality.

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 14/03/2011 10:11

No, my son has since the age of 14 fairly regularly taken himself off into the woods by himself, without a tent, just a tarp, and spent the night there. I know what camping is.

OP posts:
TandB · 14/03/2011 10:14

What a load of rubbish.

As Trillian says, I don't know all that many adults who I knew as small children. The ones I do are interesting people who I enjoy having in my life - none of them were "wild and untameable". I think they all had a bit of a spark that made them interesting - I don't ever remember being drawn to dull people, but then not many people are.

I know a couple of adults who I would consider to have been difficult children - they are generally considered to be difficult adults, rather than interesting ones.

I think people who go around saying things like this are simply storing up excuses to not deal with challenging behaviour.

expatinscotland · 14/03/2011 10:15

'No, my son has since the age of 14 fairly regularly taken himself off into the woods by himself, without a tent, just a tarp, and spent the night there.'

So?

Maybe he's practising to become a tramp when he grows up.

I've met some very interesting tramps in my life . . .

Confused
Original poster
duchesse · 14/03/2011 10:15

expat- try as I might, I have reread my posts on this thread and cannot find a single thing that could be construed as a boast. Especially not when they walk/ed around the house with muddy feet. It's annoying more than anything.

OP posts:
TandB · 14/03/2011 10:16

Sleeping in the woods with a taup? Still camping in my view.

Running off butt-naked to sleep under the stars, commune with little furry animals and not come home until some profound truth has been pondered and understood - that might be interesting.

Pagwatch · 14/03/2011 10:16

That is even worse. It is like wild and untameable in a boden style. How wonderful and quirky
Er no. Put your shoes on you twit.

Ds2 didn't like his shoes because it was one of his sensory behaviours. It was hard. And sad. Not charming and wilful.

This sounds like the shit people who are fond of indigo children like to spout.

I hate people romanticising my sons disabilities. Or bad behaviour . Or both

expatinscotland · 14/03/2011 10:17

Okay. I just don't get the point of the thread then.

Don't see where being 'wild' = interesting by default.

expatinscotland · 14/03/2011 10:19

What Pag said.

And MrsGravy, I'd have no problem telling my own sister that either she disciplines her child whilst in my house so that he refrains from destroying property, or I do. Or we meet elsewhere.

bran · 14/03/2011 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 14/03/2011 10:26

your kid with and individual 'wild' streak is my pain in the arse.

carminaburana · 14/03/2011 10:40

Yep - wild and untameable = PITA, as a child or an adult.

And If your child is ever described as 'spirited' on his school report - it means the teacher can't wait to see the back of him...

LaWeasel · 14/03/2011 10:42

I don't understand what you are trying to say.

I hate shoes, and wear them as little as possible (and always have) but I have never trampled mud into people's houses, even when I was a kid I would check, and wash my feet when I came in if they were dirty.

From they way you are describing your children, they sound disrespectful.

I am not really sure what to make of the camping example. If you own the land it's not really particularly wild, and if you don't, I'm not sure why you'd allow this - he could be arrested for trespassing. (or worse if they are rural woods which people hunt in)

Prunnhilda · 14/03/2011 10:45

Some kids are for sure more interesting than others, but I don't think it correlates with wild and untameable.

I also don't think not wearing shoes is all that quirky. Nothing wrong with being self-reliant enough to go off to the woods and camp. DH did that. He's a rather staid academic now (sorry to disappoint!).

corygal · 14/03/2011 10:47

As it happens I rather disagree too. People I know who were 'good' - despite trying circs like their parents breaking up, poverty, forced emigration, and so on - went on to shine career-wise - in yer media and film, too, stereotypically intr'sting careers.

I'm afraid I know a lot of wild children who never made it out of the typhoon of their own funlovin' chaos - but I do know a couple (boys) who have been supported by women and are financially OK thanks to that. They don't do much themselves tho' - don't like work or any other activity bar the xbox and pub. And it's quite hard to be oh-so intr'sting when you do nothing.

carminaburana · 14/03/2011 10:48

Agree - camping = geek

mayorquimby · 14/03/2011 10:53

nah I reckon it's the kind of thing people say to justify something. Either their own reckless child-hood, their kids being wild or else a lack of direction in their current life.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 14/03/2011 10:57

Actually we came across a gathering of 'wild children' a few weeks back in a restaurant, my severely autistic wild child versus a handful of little boden clad shit bags

My wild child was sat nicely at the table, coping well considering it was getting busy. I was proud of him, and I confess a wee bit smug.

Sadly the parents of some 'wild' children don't bother to teach necessities such as sitting on your arse. Which is a useful skill to have.

One shit bag in particular seemed to be having a one child led game of cowboys and Indians, he kept running at my ds and shouting, was being a general PITA tbh.

We asked stop it as ds was getting stressed, he didn't like it, little shit bags response was 'whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, wassup wivvim? '

There isn't anything wrong with him, he just doesn't like people too near him now fuck off sit down with your parents.

I was getting woried at this point, ds had already pulled a few handfuls of my hair out and was biting himself, if he had got hold of the little shit (he's never hurt anyone except me before but I wouldn't take the risk) he would have caused a fair bit of damage, and of course we would be the bad parents

Shitbags were flinging food everywhere, being loud , obnoxious etc. Fuck knows what planet the parents were on, bunch of drips .

Anyways, guess which 'spirited' child ended up having to leave the restaurant, i'll give a clue... he wasn't wearing boden...

Truckdriver · 14/03/2011 10:59

I hate to ruin your illusion of 'wildness' but my DH who is a straight laced accountant hates to wear shoes.

Not a wild bone in his body (but is very kind, generous, loyal, sexy etc, etc, etc :) )

wellwisher · 14/03/2011 11:00

This thread makes me think of parents who say things like "oh Tarquin is just EXPRESSING himself, we don't believe in using the word no" when their child behaves appallingly.

I am still in touch with lots of my childhood friends and there is no correlation between youthful "wildness" and being interesting now (in our early thirties). They are all interesting, but by and large the ones who were less "wild" at school have much better jobs and stabler relationships.

YABU.

prettyfly1 · 14/03/2011 11:00

God I hate threads like this - I have an "untameable" child and as much as I would like to believe he will be an interesting adult, I suspect that the inability to conform to societies rules and the subsequent rejection it generates is far more likely to result in intense therapy at a young age and deep seated confidence issues that are bloody difficult to try and undo. People are what they are - smug generalisations from either side of the fence are just wrong.

suzikettles · 14/03/2011 11:00

I sometimes wonder if we let our children find their own way whether they'd learn for themselves that not following certain social rules makes people not like you/hurts their feelings/makes life difficult, and that other social rules aren't really that important - don't wear shoes? No one gets hurt except possibly yourself.

Personally though, I can't really be arsed with free-spirited children such as: "Tarqin's such an expressive child" as Tarquin rampages around breaking the furniture, so I'm not sure I could stick the experiment.

Not wearing shoes and camping out though? That's not wild, that's just being a child surely? Confused

suzikettles · 14/03/2011 11:02

lol at x-post wellwisher. Poor Tarquin - he always gets it in the neck on threads like this.

There are probably lots of lovely Tarquins.

Chil1234 · 14/03/2011 11:04

If the worst the OP's child does is sleep in the woods under a tarp then he's not fulfilling any working definition of 'wild and untameable'... he sounds 'unconventional', which is a different thing entirely.

wellwisher · 14/03/2011 11:06

:D suzikettles

My DSis was at school with a Torquil. He and his siblings were EXTREMELY wild but I don't know how they've turned out as adults.

carminaburana · 14/03/2011 11:11

There's a boy in my son's class ( yr 6 ) I suppose you could describe him as wild and untameable if you wanted to be poetic - in reality he's a nuisance & all the other kids avoid him, ( in fact they can't stand him ) he never gets invited to any parties or to anyone's house - I'm always thankful for my extremely average children.

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