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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think boarding schools are an expensive version of neglect?

1001 replies

WriterofDreams · 13/03/2011 23:06

I don't get boarding schools at all. Especially for young children. I will never forget watching a documentary about 7 year olds being sent to boarding school and the fear and upset the poor girls went through being separated from their families. For what? The mums seemed to think the poor children's suffering was necessary in service of their futures. Surely it's more important for them to grow up in their families and enjoy their siblings? I don't have a huge amount of personal experience of boarding schools so I may be missing something important. I do know however know two adults who were sent to boarding school as young children and consider themselves seriously damaged by it.

Surely it's better for a young child to be raised by people who genuinely love them than by a house mother who may be kind and loving but who essentially is just doing a job? AIBU to see boarding school as a form of high class care system for the wealthy?

OP posts:
goodbyemrschips · 15/03/2011 21:41

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goodbyemrschips · 15/03/2011 21:43

And thank you to everybody that agrees with me............and I am glad some do.........

I mean my son sees his grandparents more than twice a month.....

boosmummie · 15/03/2011 21:44

I am proud of my children and the choices that my ex husband and I made for them. I'm crying at this woman's statements and the fact that she clearly has not read properly the things that I have written. I have a 2 year old (just) and three teenagers. I go to the UK as often as I can get there (I have a business where I live) and I spend far more time with my children than a lot of parents I know who moan that they rarely see their teenagers. SOrry for foul ranting, momentary rage washed over me.

ChristinedePizan · 15/03/2011 21:45

Mollie - like I said, I thought it would be huge fun for my parents to be away for three weeks with a lovely friend looking after us but actually we hated it. BUT that was three weeks not seeing our parents which isn't the same.

I was also talking about friends of mine who were sent away full time (only coming home at half terms) which is entirely different again.

boosmummie · 15/03/2011 21:46

Clearly you still haven't read my posts properly. Oh yeah, and the first 12 years of them being with me count for jack all. Obvs.

swallowedAfly · 15/03/2011 21:47

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goodbyemrschips · 15/03/2011 21:47

I too am sorry for my bad language and as you stooped to this level I no longer wish to continue.

As stated you see your children once or twice a month, so as human beings you really hardly know them anymore, and being in another country makes it [in my opinion ] worse.

Stop crying now....I wont post anymore on this thread.

swallowedAfly · 15/03/2011 21:49

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boosmummie · 15/03/2011 21:49

Actually we all moved together. They could easily have gone to school where we are, and indeed did up until the end of year 6. The secondary options were not good for them here which most certainly contributed to our final decision.

TandB · 15/03/2011 21:51

Easy to say, boosmummie, but don't rise to the idiocy and spite being spouted here. You are the only one who is qualified to judge the decisions you have made for your family. There is a clear agenda here by certain posters - to big themselves up by pushing others down.

I have always taken the view that you don't need others to feel bad in order to feel good unless you are an insecure person with big holes in your own life.

I think a certain poster's slightly hysterical use of question marks gives a fairly clear insight into the measured and coherent approach she is taking to this subject. Suggest you stop engaging with her - there is no point trying to have a reasoned discussion with someone who feels the need to thank "everybody that agrees with me".

It's not a competition.

swallowedAfly · 15/03/2011 21:52

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boosmummie · 15/03/2011 21:52

Of sorts. Does that really matter? It was MY work that bought us abroad. ALL of us.

Lucylu5 · 15/03/2011 21:54

Mollieo
Please don't let any of this put you off!!! It is hard and being a chorister parent as well as being a chorister is a huge commitment.
The boys love what they do and if they didn't they just wouldn't do it, they work very very hard and sing before and after school as well as two instruments and music theory, you can't force a child to do that it comes from passion. They also have amazing oppertunites and my son has spent last two days at oxford uni doing a cd recording, which he said was incredible. He is also so excited about Easter and singing for the queen in her private quarters.
The school is absolutely wonderful and the boys all have such a wonderful time, the older ones support the little ones and my son says it is like having 23 brothers.
For my son it has been the making of him, he is a very kind thoughtful and spiritual child, who is very confident and above all happy.
I love my son and he knows how much he is loved and at the end of the day that is all that matters.
If you want to talk about the school or about life as a chorister mollieo please message me would be happy to answer any questions.....it is a huge dicission to make and if I can help in anyway let me know x

TandB · 15/03/2011 21:55

"was sunning it up in spain more important than raising your kids?"

This is getting embarrassing. It's like watching the audience in Jeremy Kyle baying for blood.

swallowedAfly · 15/03/2011 21:56

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swallowedAfly · 15/03/2011 21:56

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boosmummie · 15/03/2011 21:58

Thank you Kungfupannda, I appreciate your words.

I don't sun myself actually. Haven't had tan lines since about 1988, can't be bothered to lay around and do nothing. I work hard and run my business. And my kids came with me when we moved when they were 7, 9 an 10 and they are now almost 15, 17 and 18.

And having boarded myself I knew what to look for in a school, and I knew what would be right for my children.

TandB · 15/03/2011 21:58

Because quite frankly I am open-mouthed in slightly horrified fascination at the depths you are stooping to.
And I am not inclined to leave a poster who is clearly distressed battling alone against this level of spite. You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

MosEisley · 15/03/2011 21:59

I'm agreeing with Kungfupanda a lot at the moment... including the last post.

Boosmummie - don't let it get to you - have a Wine and ignore.

boosmummie · 15/03/2011 21:59

I've never watched Jeremy Kyle, and I'm not sure I want to if this is what it's like!

boosmummie · 15/03/2011 22:00

THank you girls - how lovely. I think I will Wine cheers.

TandB · 15/03/2011 22:00

Eek! Just suddenly realised that the Jeremy Kyle reference could be construed as suggesting that I was likening Boosmummie to the shellsuit-clad victims being berated by JK. Obviously that was not what I intended.

swallowedAfly · 15/03/2011 22:01

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TandB · 15/03/2011 22:03

Rather be sanctimonious than spiteful and vindictive.

You are no longer discussing a point of view - you have descended into snide personal attacks on someone who has done nothing worse than make a different choice to you and defend it.

Quattrocento · 15/03/2011 22:04

You've been out of order, swallowed a fly. Needs to be called sometimes. Bit too much vino?

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