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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh should not just watch tv with the baby

102 replies

Wildpoppy · 13/03/2011 22:41

Each weekend my dh takes our now 3 month old baby downstairs when she wakes - about 7am, and I lie in until about 11. No complaints there - it's how I get through the week. But when I come downstairs they are usually watching tv together. He says he plays with her and I am sure he does, and she naps too, and he can't play with he for four hours, but aibu to think that he shouldn't be sitting there with her watching tv? Fine to have it on in background, but I am alone with her all week and I very rarely have the tv on unless she is feeding (we mix feed so mostly bf when with me and bottles when he is looking after her). Probably I am being unreasonable - am sure the tv doing no harm. But shouldn't he be enjoying interacting with her without it?

OP posts:
pjmama · 13/03/2011 22:42

I'd just enjoy your lie in and let him get on with it!

PepsiPopcorn · 13/03/2011 22:44

YANBU

squeakytoy · 13/03/2011 22:46

I wouldnt have thought you could interact with a 3mth old for four hours either.. leave them to it and enjoy the peace.

BooBooGlass · 13/03/2011 22:46

She's months old. I can guarantee she won't give a shite if the tv's on or off. You get your lie in, your dh gets time with his dd. Win win.

GypsyMoth · 13/03/2011 22:47

babies are quite boring at that age

do you think he should perhaps be honing her circus skills or teaching her phonics or something? i mean,seriously.....WHAT would make you happy!!?

Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 22:47

YABU, shes a tiny baby, what interaction can there be for 4 hours!!
Clearly your first child, you'll look back as they grow and remember that time as the eat, cry n sleep routine not for intellectual stimulation!!
U r so lucky, i cant believe u r complaining!! I'm a single mum of 2 and my partner left me at 7 months preg so no lie ins for me in over 2 yrs now.
"Its how i get through the week", ummmm how do u think the rest of us get thro the wk???

poochela · 13/03/2011 22:48

yabu. leave him alone to watch telly with his kid. she's 3 months old for goodness sake it's not going to rot her brain and your getting a lie in. Back off.

Portofino · 13/03/2011 22:50

You get a lie in til 11am and you have found something to complain about! I guarantee that in a few years you will be positively grateful at your child's ability to find coco pops and switch on the DVD player on a Sunday morning!

WildAndCrazyHorlicksDrinker · 13/03/2011 22:50

YABALoon

Mapley · 13/03/2011 22:50

That's a bit unfair and born out of jealousy rather than any reasoned thinking.

SmethwickBelle · 13/03/2011 22:52

Definitely let him get on with it - I used to be mad at DH for "parking" or appearing to ignore our babies whilst I was having a break. Now I realise they entertain themselves far better with him than they do with me. Also the less you interfere the more he will be happy to do his bit and it makes the pair of you a good team I think.

WhatKatieDid · 13/03/2011 22:55

Some people are hard to please...

YankNCock · 13/03/2011 22:55

From just the title I was all prepared to say you weren't being unreasonable, thinking you had a child similar age to mine (18mo).

But at 3 months? Let the man get some TV watching in now. A 3 month old just wants to be held and/or stare at people, and you can easily do that with the telly on.

When you have a toddler who will destroy the room and do kamikaze jumps from the top of the sofa if your DH gets distracted by the TV, then it's time to get annoyed about the TV being on.

Pterosaur · 13/03/2011 22:55

They're having a cuddle and bonding. I never had the tv on during the day when DD1 was tiny and would probably have felt a bit resentful that DH wasn't trying hard enough in your situation, but it's not really logical. You're all having a pleasant morning, and the baby isn't going to come to any harm.

thenightsky · 13/03/2011 22:55

God... I used to watch horror films at 4am with mine at 3 months. It was only way of getting through the night.

Chill.

splashyy · 13/03/2011 23:09

Yabu. As others have pointed out, be grateful for the lie in. Single mind get no such thing!

BuzzLiteBeer · 13/03/2011 23:11

YABU. Leave them alone, or get up yourself.

bibbitybobbityhat · 13/03/2011 23:12

Roffle at interacting with a 3 month old for four hours at a stretch!

Do you get a lie in til 11 on Saturdays and Sundays?

FabbyChic · 13/03/2011 23:13

Yabu. What do you expect him to do with her when she is only three months old? It's perfectly acceptable to do what he does, stop moaning or if you don't like it don't lie in and do something with her yourself, maybe you could bake cakes with her? FGS. Whatever next.

Original poster
Wildpoppy · 13/03/2011 23:23

Whoa - I think my post makes very clear I am grateful for the lie in. And I also say they can't play for four hours. Ffs - some people on aibu looking for any excuse to have a go!!

Thanks for reassurance that aibu and tv fine for her though those of you who did. I knew it really. Just sometimes feel I spent hours of my week on floor showing her exciting things - toys, pictures, carpet fluff, whatever - or trying to keep her amused while I am showering/cleaning/cooking etc, and he just has a few hours alone with her an they use it to watch telly.

And yes I am v lucky re lie in. Though he is also v lucky I look after her the rest of the time. Win-win.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 13/03/2011 23:27

I am reminded of my SIL, who wouldn't let my brother read while he was holding his sleeping baby, because it was 'their' time Confused

Morloth · 14/03/2011 04:27

I love coming into the lounge after my weekend lie in to find the boys draped over DH watching cartoons.

They were trying to teach the baby how to use the xbox remote last time.

You don't have to amuse 3 month olds.

Tee2072 · 14/03/2011 05:47

Perhaps you should spend some time on the sofa snuggling her watching TV during the week.

Then you won't resent the fact that he does it on weekends.

Chil1234 · 14/03/2011 05:59

YABU... and if you're already in the mindset that you have to 'amuse' children 24/7 you'll find parenthood quite an ordeal. Some quiet 'doing nothing together' time is not to be sniffed at, and it's very important children don't come to see their parents as a source of constant stimulation.

handsoffmycake · 14/03/2011 06:54

YABU

I have DS who is 3yrs and DD who is 11months. I havent had a lie in since DD was born. I am completely Envy

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