To think it really is quite rude to constantly take no money when you meet up with friends?

[Awhiteelephantintheroom]

Let me explain....

I have a friend that I've known for several years. We each have 3 children and our kids are all similar in age. This friend has never hidden the fact that she and her DH are constantly skint. Hence we always end up meeting in her home town rather than mine, so I have a 30 minute journey to meet her, as she says she is too skint to buy petrol to come to my town.

For the last few times that we've met up, she has brought literally zero money with her, apart from the fee it costs to get into the soft play place we go to (£2.50). She brings no drink or food with her for her youngest child. As soon as we get there she starts saying about being "thirsty", and then when I get myself a drink (I take a drink with me for my youngest), I feel obliged to buy a drink for her and her child. Last time we went I ordered lunch and when it arrived she asked if she could share mine and if her DD could share my DS's lunch. I wouldn't have minded sharing but she's freeloaded off me so much that it really annoyed me this time. If I was so skint that I couldn't afford a cup of squash or a tea to drink, I would take drinks with me and at least lunch for my child.

I think she thinks that we're well off and so she can free load off me. She keeps texting me all the time to arrange meeting up again but I'm quite cross with her about it all really.

Would it be bad if next time I just turned up with enough money to get DS into soft play and buy myself a drink but nothing else, just to teach her a lesson?

Perhaps you could meet up somewhere else - maybe without DCs if that's possible - to have a proper chat? Ask her if she's worried about anything, it could be financial worries - maybe they're in debt or something, as you said they're rubbish with money?

Because maybe if she keeps asking to meet up, she could be hoping to talk properly, but soft play isn't exactly conducive to a good chat. Perhaps (and I say this as someone with much experience of depression) she's trying to get up the courage to confide in you.

Its very easy to get into these situations out of embarrassment and just being caught on the hop. The fact it is happening repeatedly is because she is taking advantage of your good nature and is a outrageously cheeky cow! Not really a friendly thing to do. We can all be a bit naughtly at times but its really dissrespectful, fill us in on her good points by all means, at the mo though it sounds like you are getting a rubbish deal.

OP have you heard from your "friend" this week?