PIL and DS - visits

[DwayneDibley]

Fully prepared to accept if I am BU (well, maybe).

Very brief - My Mum and Dad work FT and dont get home until 6pmish, including Saturdays so they take DS on a Sunday (gives me a much needed break as I also work FT). DPs parents work FTish (but early finishes most days, home by 4pm) and they are both off Saturdays AND Sundays.

Now, most Saturdays they have their other GC (just the one, who is about 6) and go out shopping or whatever. They rarely see DS because the other GC can be a bit of a handful and I dont think they can do with the hassle of looking after two .

For the past however long I can remember they have had plans (nothing special, little trips out etc) on Saturday when they havent had the other GC so havent had DS either. Doesnt bother me too much, their choice an all that, except last Sunday they had no plans, so wanted to see DS in the afternoon.

I saw my arse a bit tbh, because 1) Selfishness on my part - when they have him its only for an hour or so and my mum, god love her, takes him off my hands for the day and gives him his tea (and he loves it there!) 2) Sunday is the only day my mum and Dad see him really. 3) PILs can see him on a Saturday or in the week but choose not to because they are going to pick garden furniture or cant be arsed with having 2 GC on the same day.

I am also a bit that just because they have decreed that on one Sunday they have no plans and would like to see DS that everyone else has to change what has become a bit of a routine (and as I say, a lovely break for me, esp as I have not been very well recently).

Soooooo, on the one hand I think I might have been a bit U, they are his GPs afterall. BUT when they can see him on Saturdays, and when I suspect she had had a bit of a moan to DP about never seeing DS, it just makes me think "feck off, if you want to see DS then maybe dont go to B&Q one Saturday".

Tell me if IABU and I might consider that I am

OP, you are a spoiled brat with attitude. Having children means your life changes FFS.

But the IL's are busy with their other DGC on Saturday, so it's six of one, half a dozen of the other.

OP

1. Your mum takes DS "off your hands" all day Sunday.
2. Your to describe your PILs' reluctance to have two GCs at once implies scepticism. A bit rich coming from you who only have one and relish the time off.
3. You refer to the PILs as not having "had" your DS on the odd Saturday afternoon. This implies him staying with them, not visiting, again off your hands.
4. You say your PILs "can't be arsed" having two GCs when you've already said the other one's a handful. And you like the time off from your one DS.
5. Your PILs "wanting" to see DS becomes "decreed" later on.

You come over as massively entitled, and appear to consider GPs time with GCs as a reward for coming up with the goods by babysitting for you.

OP

1. Your mum takes DS "off your hands" all day Sunday.
2. Your to describe your PILs' reluctance to have two GCs at once implies scepticism. A bit rich coming from you who only have one and relish the time off.
3. You refer to the PILs as not having "had" your DS on the odd Saturday afternoon. This implies him staying with them, not visiting, again off your hands.
4. You say your PILs "can't be arsed" having two GCs when you've already said the other one's a handful. And you like the time off from your one DS.
5. You don't like the way the PILs don't have your DS for as long as your mum. Again, more you time.
6. Your PILs "wanting" to see DS becomes "decreed" later on, positioning then as unreasonable.

You come over as massively entitled, and appear to consider GPs time with GCs as a reward for coming up with the goods by babysitting for you.

HappyMummyOfOne

"I simply cant imagine working FT and then arranging a full day childcare for a 2 year old at the weekend every weekend just so you can have time to yourself"

Have you actually tried working FT and having a tricky 2 year old to look after in all the gaps? If you had, then you might appreciate the benefits of a day off at the weekend so that you could have time to yourself (after a 5.30 start cos that is when DS gets up... and back on duty for the evening shift). I would have bitten my parents' arms off if they had offered me that.

Don't judge people until you have walked a mile in their shoes (cos then at least you will be a mile away from them, AND have their shoes )

LittleMissHissyFit

"2yo is a lovely age, and so much easier than 3, 4 5"

Personally, my DD was very hard work at 2 (real tantrums, no common sense, needing 24/7 supervision) but delightfully easy thereafter. Not all children are the same. 3,4,5 and 6 were a breeze.

many posters are leaping in to judge the OP on her lifestyle rather than simply answering her original question.

OP I hope you are okay.

perhaps if more time were spent with the child the attention seeking might be less?

Just a thought.

think plenty did answer the OP's question, actually. YES, OP, YABU.

Ha! I wish ANY grandparent would offer to take my DC for a few hours at ANY time!!!!!!!!!

You should count your blessings!

I dream of GP's having my children but I have none, all of you who have GP's really need to appreciate the fact that your children can have a relationship with them, let alone babysitting or free childcare.

I appreciate that it is extremely hard for the OP to work full time and to have all the other responsibilities of running a home and looking after children aswell. Unfortunately however that goes with the territory of having children, they are there 24/7. I feel very sorry that your child has to be in childcare all week and then be looked after by someone else on a Sunday. I feel that you are going to get problems with your toddler because he is being given 3 sets of behavioural demands to follow, how confusing for him when he is so young.

No one mentions that the DP has a day off in the week yet still sends the child to nursery, why is he entitled to a day off ? What a great opportunity he has of spending some one on one time with his child ?

I think you should reign back on your mum having him every week, and perhaps every other week so that you can do something as a family or just you and your son, it's too much, will also give your IL's a chance to see him on a Sunday every now and then.