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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is DH? Census debate..

81 replies

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 09:15

I completed our census stuff online last night and DH is miffed as I didn't put him as person 1. He says he feels emasculated and him as person 1 is the way things should be (i.e. traditional) as he is the "head of the house".

He is the only earner as I am currently a SAHM, he also does more of the cooking where as I do the DIY (we play to our strengths Grin so not traditional in other ways).

He's not sulking or anything but he is brooding on this. So good ladies (and men) of mn was IBU as the person filling the bloody form in to put myself down as person 1?

OP posts:
OTheHugeDaffodils · 09/03/2011 10:12

He's upset about not being Person Number One on the form????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHA

How old is he, 5???

Grin

Tell him to have some Brew and buck up.

ChorltonChick · 09/03/2011 10:13

FFS - is this a wind up!? It said person 1 was the person who filled it in

IWantAnotherBaby · 09/03/2011 10:16

Seems a very trivial thing to get worked up about. If it was that important he should have filled the form in! YANBU; He is, though.

carminaburana · 09/03/2011 10:18

Op; I did exactly the same thing - I sat down last night with a cup of tea and my best pen, all prepared to spend an hour filling it out, and then I saw the date thing - popped it back in the envelope and put a note on my calendar for 27th - it was such an anti-climax (( need to get out more))

FourFortyFour · 09/03/2011 10:18

I hate how fathers "help with the kids".

Do you help with the kids?

Neither of you are being unreasonable really. Clearly your husband was feeling fragile/insecure/unappreciated, etc.

larrygrylls · 09/03/2011 10:19

Seriously,

How can anyone care about something like that, life is too short?!

By the way, in our household, persons 3 and 4 are, respectively, 21 months old and 4 months old. Any ideas whether the sections for them should be completed and, if so, how? The only options are schoolchild, student and adult. There seem to be no options for pre school.

Original poster
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 10:28

4.44 I think unappreciated does cover it well, he does do alot around the house -more than any of my friends dh's. As for helping with the kids he is defintely my equal and sees it very much as his role too.

Larry if you fill it out online it automatically calculates which questions you need to answer based on the ages of your children.

OP posts:
Blu · 09/03/2011 10:32

In ye olden dayes the census used to be filled in by 'the head of the houehold' which was always, of course, the man. I am a bit irritated that the census form upholds this by giving 'Mr Sith' as the example Person 1...and they could have included some step siblings in there too - to help explain how to fill it in. The 'example family' are like the 'Peter and Jane' 1950s LadyBird books family! Perhaps your DH is having a fit of nostalgia, Dora!

Original poster
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 10:35

I think so too Blu he did use the example to justify his 'issue' so that really helped ,Hmm.

He'll get over it hopefully before 2021

OP posts:
Blu · 09/03/2011 10:47

Is he miffed because you didn't out him down as 'Jedi'?

(apols if you are all Jedi and I have offended you Wink)

Jaydles · 09/03/2011 10:49

When you fill it in online you can select step-child as an option for how they are related to person 1.

Mamaz0n · 09/03/2011 10:51

You are filling out the form so of course you would be giving your own details first. makes sense.

I did our census form last night and i can't see why everyone is moaning. I thought it was fairly simple and straight forward. I was surprised it was done as quickly as it was. Even though i had to list the DSC too.

Ephiny · 09/03/2011 10:52

He's being ridiculous. Whoever fills the form in is Person 1, it has nothing to do with masculinity or anything.

I would be more worried by him considering himself the 'head of the house', when exactly was that decided? I would be Shock if DP said this to me.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 09/03/2011 11:04

larrygrylls - you do need to fill person 3 and person 4 in for pre-schoolers. Any baby born on or before 27 March 2011 needs to be included. You just tick no to the question about being a schoolchild and then fill in up to the bit where it says under 15s don't need to fill it in (the bit about qualifications and working etc).

Original poster
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 11:07

Blu - he did do the Jedi thing last time Grin, think he has matured now? Hmm

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 09/03/2011 11:08

MUMWADT,

Thanks. I will have another look at it.

Boohooyou · 09/03/2011 11:17

I'm probably stating the obvious, but I think you should leave him.

BigBadMummy · 09/03/2011 11:20

Did he fill the form in? Did he show any interest in doing so?

You filled it in, you are number 1 for this purpose.

Does he really think that you will fill it all in as number 2?!!

Original poster
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 11:23

{grin] Grin Grin Boo

It is AIBU !!

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 09/03/2011 11:27

I've just told DP that he has to fill the form in as he is the "householder" (only his name on the tenancy) - he reckons we won't be doing the census then Hmm

GabbyLoggon · 09/03/2011 11:33

we got our forms this morning nearly wrecked the letter basket.

some say this will be the last census of its kind.

Boohooyou · 09/03/2011 12:25

Ok YABU not to leave him Grin

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 09/03/2011 12:28

Bloody hell - he needs to get a grip, lol

MrsH75 · 09/03/2011 13:35

Never even thought about it. I put myself as person one as I was the one filling it in. I just tend to be the one sorting that kind of stuff out. DH was glad I'd filled it in for him!

I think your DH needs to get in touch with his feminine side. Wink

PinkToeNails · 10/03/2011 12:03

I told my OH and his response was "WTF" it's pure madness to get annoyed about something so trivial...