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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is DH? Census debate..

81 replies

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 09:15

I completed our census stuff online last night and DH is miffed as I didn't put him as person 1. He says he feels emasculated and him as person 1 is the way things should be (i.e. traditional) as he is the "head of the house".

He is the only earner as I am currently a SAHM, he also does more of the cooking where as I do the DIY (we play to our strengths Grin so not traditional in other ways).

He's not sulking or anything but he is brooding on this. So good ladies (and men) of mn was IBU as the person filling the bloody form in to put myself down as person 1?

OP posts:
MamaLazarou · 09/03/2011 09:35

He is BU - who really gives a shit who 'person 1' is?

JeelyPiece · 09/03/2011 09:36

I mean a man who didn't dwell too much on 'manliness' wouldn't feel the need to talk about emasculation.

Although that is possibly unfair as I spend rather a lot of time dwelling on the general subject and I am fairly secure in my womanliness Smile.

In that case Doris he just needs a good talking to. Ask why he thinks he's more important than you. There is no head of the household in your situtation, you are both equal joint heads of the house.

caramelwaffle · 09/03/2011 09:37

Awww diddums.

Tell him that in ten years time he can fill in the form.
In the meantime, you are Queen of the Hill - Boss of the house - número uno

Grin
Original poster
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 09:38

I think he knows he is BU he said he would canvas people at work today but I have a feeling many of them, will have a similar take on it to him, so I came on here for a bit of balance.

OP posts:
JeelyPiece · 09/03/2011 09:39
AKMD · 09/03/2011 09:41

I filled out the census and was going to put DH as person 1 but didn't just to see what he would say :o I was disappointed though as he didn't say anything when he looked it over. He can be person 1 in 2021, just to be fair.

carminaburana · 09/03/2011 09:42

Maybe I have a different form to everyone else (( worries )) - but on page 1 of my form it clearly states in bold 'please complete your questionnaire on 27th March. I'm not sure how they'll know you filled it in 3 weeks early - but a few questions specifically relate to that date - so there's no point returning it early as they'll know you've made if up ( maybe should have left it to your dh Wink )

SeeJaneKick · 09/03/2011 09:46

Ha ha ha! Haa haa haa! Sorry but that's like something my poor emasculated DH would moan about!

Person 1 indeed!

TrillianAstra · 09/03/2011 09:51

Jeely - that's why I have never heard a man say he felt emasculated.

A man who doesn't dwell on manliness wouldn't think of it.

A man who does dwell on manliness wouldn't say it, because it's not a manly thing to say.

TallulahDoesTheHula · 09/03/2011 09:54

I am a SAHM and I am putting myself as no 1 on the form because I will be the one filling it in.

OP - your DH has a very bizarre and outdated attitude!!

Original poster
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 09:56

cariminaburana- I have just read properly and yes it does say in bold Blush however I know who will be in my house then so have done it as I got it (instead of adding it to the ever growing filling pile where many things languish).

The online version is working now...I wonder if that many people do it on the 27th how the servers will hold up

OP posts:
JeelyPiece · 09/03/2011 09:57

Indeed Trillian.

There is no way my DH could ever be person no. 1 on the census form - if I left it for him to fill in we would end up getting arrested/fined/exterminated/whatever happens.

Original poster
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/03/2011 09:58

I do feel a bit mean now and have to defend him, he is absolutely lovely and not at all a twat normally...

OP posts:
HecateTheCrone · 09/03/2011 09:59

I filled mine in online the other day and it accepted it.

Jaydles · 09/03/2011 10:00

I am fairly sure that it says the person filling the form in is person 1 and says 'you' the other questions say 'they' I hadn't even given this any thought until I read this but I too am person 1 as it should be Wink

maxpower · 09/03/2011 10:02

emasculated by a form???!!! Biscuit immediately take this opportunity to hand over all and any paperwork/finance/dealing with post responsibilites that you have (I'm guessing that laike most of us, you do them all.... Grin )

1234ThumbWar · 09/03/2011 10:03

I am person 1 on ours, have been watching too much Who Do You Think You Are and want future relatives to know that we are enlightened Grin.

maxpower · 09/03/2011 10:03

Grin zachary

Mumwithadragontattoo · 09/03/2011 10:07

The person filling out the form should be the householder. This is defined as the person who owns or jointly owns the home (or has tenancy for renters) and who is responsible or jointly responsible for the bills. In most households this would be either of the adults living there. As everyone says person 1 is the one filling in the form.

loonyrationalist · 09/03/2011 10:08

YANBU - your DH is being weird!!

DH would be person 71 if it meant he didn't have to do it.

I filled it in online yesterday. I know exactly who will be in my house then & that we won't have any visitors - in fact it's a great excuse to avoid them ;).

When I finished I had the option to submit or not. It said that if you didn't submit it would be done automatically when the online service closed but you would still be able to edit until then.

Flisspaps · 09/03/2011 10:08

I am person 1 on ours and couldn't give a flying fuck what DH thought about that.

If Person 1 should be the person who is boss of the house, then DD should have gone first Grin

amistillsexy · 09/03/2011 10:09

My DH filled this in for himself and the 3 DSs yesterday when I was out, but left my part blank for me to fill in Shock...

We've been married 10 years so it's not like he doesn't know me yet!

Twonk.

Today I'm going to clean the bit of the toilet I made dirty.

Then I'll leave his wee drips for him to clean up Grin

stoatie · 09/03/2011 10:10

I filled ours in last night (ready to post after 27th DD1 had strict instructions not to have friends over that nightGrin
I am person 1 because I filled it in - end of

MrsDrOwenHunt · 09/03/2011 10:11

i have submitted mine too, as there is only me and ds i was person 1, now i think i should have made ds person 1 as i dont want him to grow up feeling less of a man as i didnt put him first!!!!