I'm at sahm. I love it but don't go out much. Went to Allen Carr today, paid £220 and felt very positive after. Had my "last" cigarette at 2pm and then went to get my hair cut. Got in at 7.30pm (long time for me not to smoke), and hadn't even taken my coat off when he told me how ill our dd had been today - explosive nappies, vomited 3 times, dry gagged, lying on kitchen floor limp etc. Obviously very worrying. She had very bad diarrhoea for about a month recently which was horrendous, couldn't walk her bum was so sore, wasn't eating, I went to docs at least 3 times with her. So anyway I asked (probably not in the gentlest of tones but you can understand my worry when she's been so ill for so long so recently, I am the one that has to deal with her alone all day, my coat is still on and he hasn't even asked how my course was, I've just been bombarded) - why is she ill so much?! He took an aggressive tone back, saying she wasn't ill all the time, I said she was more than I think is normal considering she doesn't have any older siblings and doesn't go to nursery, he told me to stop having a go at him - and basically it escalated into an argument and u went and bought sins ciggies and a bottle of wine! Aibu to think that he could have at least let me take my coat off and asked about my course before bombarding me, and that hd shouldn't have taken such a tone with me/given me some leeway if I was meant to be giving up smoking? I know stressful situations occur in life, but 2 minutes after walking through the door? Now I am upset I am smoking again, upset with him, and worried about my dd. He had it all under control, was waiting for em doc to call back and cleaning up sick etc so aibu to have expected him to think about me in this situation? I hardly ever go out either, so now I also feel nervous about what will happen when I do!
AIBU?
She means that she didn't not want her DP to tell her about their DD being ill, she just wanted a minute to collect her thoughts before being stressed about her DD. I'm guessing
And that's got what to do with giving up her banking job to look after her own DD? 
Whisky don't start making mums who work feel guilty. People will be getting their 
out all over the place, including myself. No need to be nasty.
Sorry thornykate, looks like I mis-remembered what was in the book and expressed my view as his 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Am shamed as it shows how many times I had to read the bloody book before it sank in ... off to bed now before people think I am on commission for it 
whisky - just turned midnight, so new day, new start. Hope your dd is better in the morning, and your cigarettes go in the bin and stay there 
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If she's your life then why the big fuss about not being able to take off your coat before hearing how ill she's been?
I still don't see the SAHM connection either. Are you saying that if you'd continued to work, she wouldn't be your life?
"So anyway I asked (probably not in the gentlest of tones but you can understand my worry when she's been so ill for so long so recently, I am the one that has to deal with her alone all day, my coat is still on and he hasn't even asked how my course was, I've just been bombarded) - why is she ill so much?!" you were aggressive to your DH first (who presumably assumed given your obsession with your DD that the first thing you would want to know as that she had been ill), given htat you are her primary carer, why were you wasking him "why is she ill so much"?! .
"I spend 24 hours a day think about her and looking after her, she is my life" - you are driving your DH mad with your preoccupation with your DD. I understand your concern if she is ill all the time but really, you sound like a prime candidate for going back to work to give you something else to think about rather than your DD.
You devotedness to her to the exclusion of anything/anyone else sounds a little difficult to live with.
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