Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed about my weight being an issue..

115 replies

TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:26

..with regards to getting pregnant?

Back story - i lost my baby boy last year, had the post mortem results today and they confirmed that it was IUGR that caused his death.
But the consultant also said that i NEED to lose weight before trying again because my weight could cause me to miscarry again?
Now i didnt think i was that big!

But i wonder, has anyone else come across this or heard that you cant carry a child if you are overweight??

Disclaimer - I'm 5'6, size 12-14 and i weigh about 13 stone.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 28/02/2011 20:30

I think that is bollocks. You are not that big, slightly overweight probably. I'm really surprised he even mentioned it to you.

I don't know what IUGR is - is it something that stops a foetus growing? because of overweight females?

You have to be really overweight before anyone mentions it to you normally - unless you happen to be a geriatric mother (over 35) when for some reason people think they can say anything Hmm

Any chance you're (a teeny bit) fat and old? Grin

TattyDevine · 28/02/2011 20:31

That's very sad, sorry for your loss.

Yes, I have heard weight can be an issue. Its not to say it was though!

If you carry a lot of fat, you can have oestrogen dominance. It can cause insufficient luteal phase as well.

To be honest, I find it hard to swallow that at 13 stone (which for your height is not even obese) it would be "fat's fault" at all, I dont see how anyone could pin it down to that, but consultants are all about increased risk. Techinically, you are at a statistically increased risk if you are overweight.

So he's onto something, from an evidence based research point of view, but please dont go blaming yourself for that, not that you are, but its merely a possible factor and one that can be avoided and therefore one to address.

There's so much you can't change or control in this fertility malarky, may as well focus energy into those you can.

DuplicitousBitch · 28/02/2011 20:32

i am so sorry about your loss.

it does seem insensitive and probably not v. accurate.

privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 20:33

I think 5'6" and 13 stone is quite large I must admit but not morbidly obese!

It does confuse me about different body shapes. I'm 5'9", just over 11 stone and I'm also a size 12-14 at the moment.

TattyDevine · 28/02/2011 20:34

Risk factors in the mother that may contribute to IUGR include:

?Alcohol abuse

?Clotting disorders

?Drug addiction

?High blood pressure or heart disease

?Kidney disease

?Poor nutrition

?Smoking

See this doesn't even mention obesity (which you are not). You might have high blood pressure if you are overweight. You may have poor nutrition if you are overweight. Neither are a given though.

ifancyashandy · 28/02/2011 20:34

So sorry for your loss.

Don't know a huge amount but when I was 13 and half stone, I was (at 5'8") a size 16-18 and was told I was obese. Not saying you are - everyone is different.

It sounds like your doctor is being a bit insensitive. I would ask to see someone else.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:36

LaurieFairyCake - IUGR stands for Infant Utrine Growth restriction, basically my blood wasnt pumping properly into the placenta. Haha, i'm 23 :)

TattyDevine - thankyou. I've always known i wasnt the skinniest of people, but i never thought that my weight would ever risk my pregnancy. I've known many "larger" ladies that have loads of kids!

OP posts:
privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 20:39

I suspect the good old BMI has come into play in this instance.

If you look here you are quite a long way into the overweight section.

BMI calculations are notoriously dodgy though. If your weight is mainly muscle rather than fat then you are probably not overweight

chillichill · 28/02/2011 20:40

quite large? I don't think so. I'm 5'6 as well and I'm pretty happy when im 13st but happiest at around 12. I was almost 15st when I fell pregnant and my weight was only mentioned as a risk at my last midwife appointment with regard to delivery. I have pcos and was told I had to loose weight to conceive.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:41

When i had my blood pressure taken all throughout my pregnancy, it was always normal, so i dont think that has ever been a problem.

Well my BMI was 29, i think the nurse thought i was going to hit her when she told me, she apologised! Grin hehe! Bless her..

OP posts:
Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:42

:) thanks chillichill

OP posts:
privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 20:43

quite large? I don't think so

You are entitled to your opinion and so am I :) it wasn't said in order to be rude to anyone. The medical profession appear to agree too if the weight is fat rather than muscle.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:44

PrivateGodfrey, i didnt think you were being rude! :)

OP posts:
curlymama · 28/02/2011 20:46

It seems fairly large to me, I was thinking what privategodfrey said.

But saying that, plently of women much bigger than that have succesful pregnancies, so while weight might be the cause, it also might not.

Consultants are not always known for their tact, but I guess he just wants to increase your chances of a succesful pregnancy as much as possible. It's got to be worth a try surely?

TattyDevine · 28/02/2011 20:46

I think consultants of this kind see so many obese (and I mean obese, not overweight, like you, though you are probably a couple of cupcakes away from obesity at BMI 29 Grin ) women come in who are experiencing problems with pregnancy that are contributed to risk wise or excacerbated by their obese state.

They see this day after day and they probably feel like tearing their hair out and saying "FFS lose weight before you get pregnant" in a very medical mathematical kind of way.

Seems obvious but life gets in the way. You might fall pregnant accidentally, you might not be overweight when you fall pregnant but are by booking in due to a raging pregnancy appetite, you might be dieting while you casually start TTC and fall straight away...

But consultants just see a missed opportunity to lower risk. Its a different thought process!

chillichill · 28/02/2011 20:47

I just don't think a size 12/14 is quite large, didn't think you were bring rude either. to me a 10/12 is ideal but nothing wrong with 12/14 if you eat healthy, exercise, etc.

privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 20:47

Thanks Tenspeed and I'm really sorry about your loss.

I don't think weight really has a huge effect on pregnancy unless you are VERY overweight. I've certainly seen some very big lasses (16/17 stone) have perfectly safe and happy pregnancies and deliveries.

Wishing you all the very best OP in TTC.

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 20:47

I am sorry for your loss. BMI is a ridiculously bad measurement. Weight is one of those things some people seem to get away with it while other don't. I'd either get a second opinion or listen to the professional, it may even be your distribution of fat that is less safe (e.g. if your an apple not a pear, I know because I'm an apple). It may not be accurate and it may not be what you want to hear but I don't think it's wise to ignore it

FabbyChic · 28/02/2011 20:47

You aren't big at all. If you had said a size 20 then maybe but a 12-14 that is not fat at all.

FabbyChic · 28/02/2011 20:48

BMI of 29 though is almost obese.

TattyDevine · 28/02/2011 20:50

Really what he should have said was

"There's an opportuinity to reduce your risk factor here, you may as well give it a go, it may or may not make a difference, but its nice to know you've done everything you can to have a healthy successful pregnancy next time, though that is not to say it was a factor in this one".

From what I could tell, that would be more medically accurate, and it would be more sensitive too.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:50

I agree Tatty, that makes sense.

Well i havent ignored the advice, i've got my gym membership going again so i will be attended tomorrow!
And i've been shopping for all healthy food so chocolate etc no longer exists in my house :).

I just wanted to rant about it.. i think after a few years of moaning (and not doing anything..) about my weight, and people saying, "YOUR NOT FAT!!" it was just a shock to be told i am :( boo!

OP posts:
chillichill · 28/02/2011 20:51

well said TATTY.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:52

Thanks PrivateGodfrey :)

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 28/02/2011 20:53

I think a lot of people think "obese" is massive rolls of fat everywhere. Morbidly obese may be, malignantly or super morbidly obese may be, but actual borderline obese can often be a fairly attractive well presented figure, by today's standards - we are used to seeing sturdier framed people than they were in the 50's or whatever.

If a person is wearing a size 14, and wearing it well, many people would say they are just fine. But if you look at the waist measurement of the British High st's average size 14, it is the same as the waist measurement that they say you are at increased risk of this that and the other if you go above it. Its about fat around your organs.

Which sucks really.

Swipe left for the next trending thread