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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed about my weight being an issue..

115 replies

TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:26

..with regards to getting pregnant?

Back story - i lost my baby boy last year, had the post mortem results today and they confirmed that it was IUGR that caused his death.
But the consultant also said that i NEED to lose weight before trying again because my weight could cause me to miscarry again?
Now i didnt think i was that big!

But i wonder, has anyone else come across this or heard that you cant carry a child if you are overweight??

Disclaimer - I'm 5'6, size 12-14 and i weigh about 13 stone.

OP posts:
foreverondiet · 28/02/2011 20:53

I am very sorry for your loss. I suspect they are saying that to cover themselves as fertility can be compromised if you are even a little overweight, and pregnancies are higher risk if you are overweight. You body works best at a healthy weight.. why not loose the weight if it lowers your risk?

But are you really 12-14? I have lost weight recently was 12 stone 5 and I am 5 foot 4 inches and was definately a size 16.

A waist measurement over 32 inches is an indicator of excess weight for women regardless of height.

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 28/02/2011 20:57

I am 5'9, 12 stone and size 14-16 so I am not sure how you can be 12-14. You are also borderline obese, However I agree with Tatty said about him being a bit more sensitive about the issue, especially as it doesn't seem to be a risk factor in what happened last time (sorry for your loss).

Trinaluce · 28/02/2011 20:57

I'm well into obese (not being helped by current pregnancy craving for Twixes Blush) and wasn't exactly much below it last time round - but my blood pressure never crept above what it is when I'm not pregnant and they gave up worrying about me.

I know when you're going through IVF they reckon that a lower BMI will improve your chances of it taking, but I have no idea why precisely. I know it couldn't hurt - fully intend to lose a lot once this one's born - but I like food. I especially like really fattening food Grin

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:58

I do find that i had my belly well, you wouldnt tell in clothes i dont think. Most of it is just my stomach i think.. my thighs could be a bit thinner aswell lol!
But, yeah i suppose if i have alot of fat round my middle i may be crushing my insides somewhat?

I am definately a 12-14, i have size 14 jeans and trousers that are still loose on me, my jeans constantly fall down! So i know i am not any bigger than that. Saying that, alot of my dresses are a 10.. and they still fit?
Clothing is always strange in their sizes anyway..

OP posts:
worraliberty · 28/02/2011 20:58

Do you know your exact weight OP? It's just I know sometimes when we don't weigh ourselves, we often estimate at a much lower weight.

Trinaluce · 28/02/2011 20:59

Oh, and the last time a doctor tried to tell me off about my weight I asked what he was doing about his as he was at least five stone heavier than I was.

He changed the subject rather rapidly.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 20:59

Same Trinaluce, unfortunately chinese food really agrees with me ;)

OP posts:
Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:00

Worraliberty - i was weighed today in the hospital and i was 13 stone 8. I was shocked.

Trinaluce Hilarious!! Well done :)

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FabbyChic · 28/02/2011 21:01

I told my son I had only put on weight around my belly, he said Mum you are fat all over, to me I looked all front, but in reality it was all over. I've lost 2 stone and I don't feel like I've lost that much but it is 28 bags of sugar.

Won't take you long at all if you go to the gym, unfortunately I'm a couch potato.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:04

FabbyChic, i think your probably right, i guess cause i always had a chubby baby face, even when i was stick think, i hadnt noticed a major difference anywhere else.

Thats what i'm hoping, you can think of me sweating it out on the running machine tomorrow! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:04

Thin* (why cant i spell tonight..)

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Trinaluce · 28/02/2011 21:11

TenSpeed Well I'm not being lectured by someone who can't sort themselves out Grin! I KNOW I have a weight problem, but nagging me is NEVER going to make me motivated to do anything about it.

It's like the old adaage - an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than their doctor...

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:14

I thought you were having a go at me for a minute there!
But yes, i totally agree.. nagging makes me tired.. which makes me sleep.. which means lack of movement :)
Then you get hungry from all that sleep!

But no, i will do it! Its not just for me this time!

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 28/02/2011 21:18

If you could get your BMI down that be good, but you certainly don't sound fat from your sizes and weight.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:18

Thanks Fabby, i dont think i'm fat, just "chubby" as my dad so kindly puts it!

OP posts:
suwoo · 28/02/2011 21:20

I'm a Weight Watchers leader and the maximum weight ie BMI of a 5foot6 female is 11 stone 1lb, so you are 2 stone overweight. I am 5 foot 5 and in a size 14 when I am 11 stone. I am in a 10/12 at 10.7.

Really sorry to hear about your baby and wishing you lots of luck.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:21

Thanks Suwoo, maybe i have heavy bones :)

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 28/02/2011 21:26

I know tubby! its my twin in the mirror! Good luck

lubeybooby · 28/02/2011 21:26

I'm 5ft 4 and 16 stone and in an 18. At 14 stone I fit a 16 easily. Depends how you carry it, I'm very muscular, busty and hourglass.

Trinaluce · 28/02/2011 21:27

suwoo Well bully for you, skinny ribs Wink

No point me trying to lose anything until baby's out obviously - and then I can't afford gym fees, and can't use treadmills anyway as they CRIPPLE my back (plus I'm REALLY lazy).

Once baby's out the way the weight IS coming off. Won't be able to afford food then anyway Grin

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:34

Lets see, i dont have big boobs but they're not tiny either (36D now i think..).
All i notice is my stomach really. Shadows everything else!

Trinaluce - apparently baby food is good for losing weight! Wouldnt advise it but it could save some money! Grin

OP posts:
privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 21:34

I think if weight goes on relatively slowly you don't tend to notice it.

When I was in my 20's I was a gym-bunny, working out 5 days a week. I met my (then) partner, stopped working out and started enjoying meals out and nights down the pub. I think I was in denial to a certain extent as my clothes were all loose and floaty so didn't get tight despite the extra weight.

I was brought up short when my partners best friend said to me "What's Father Christmas bringing you this year - is it an exercise bike?"

Shock

I went home and got on the scales. I'd gone from just under 10 stone to 11 and a half.

RedHeels · 28/02/2011 21:36

I'm 5'5 and I used to be size 12/14 and there is no way I was 13 stone, more like 10 and a half stone. So not sure how you can be 12/14 and 13 stone. Don't expect people to tell you the truth when you say you're concerned about your weight, nobody has the balls to say: "well, yeah, you're fat". Apparently these days the word itself is offensive Confused so people are scared to use it. So kind words are not always the truth, sorry.

Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:37

I agree with that, this weight has been creeping up since i was about 18. At 16/17 i was 8 stone, no boobs, no curves and i still thought i was fat! Just shows doesnt it :)

I think thats been my problem also, got settled into a relationship and boom i exploded! I think its comfort weight :).
Thats really rude though, i cant believe someone would say that! Shock

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Original poster
TenSpeedOfGodsBlood · 28/02/2011 21:39

Redheels i can promise you i'm not making it up, i have no reason to. If i was a size 18 or whatever i would say, but as i sit here now, the (stretchy) jeans i am wearing are a 12 and my top is a 10? (Cardigan 15-16 yr old), i dont know what else to tell you :)

OP posts: