To be a bit miffed about my weight being an issue..

[TenSpeedOfGodsBlood]

..with regards to getting pregnant?

Back story - i lost my baby boy last year, had the post mortem results today and they confirmed that it was IUGR that caused his death.
But the consultant also said that i NEED to lose weight before trying again because my weight could cause me to miscarry again?
Now i didnt think i was that big!

But i wonder, has anyone else come across this or heard that you cant carry a child if you are overweight??

Disclaimer - I'm 5'6, size 12-14 and i weigh about 13 stone.

Thanks Lalamom.

Thats true! And Tyra Banks in her heavier setting always looks amazing!

Good luck with your weight loss!

HairyLights, the thing i have struggled with the most in the past is finding the right things to eat and finding healthy things that i actually like! I tend to be a very fussy eater.

But my diet will be as follows:
Breakfast - special K cereal.
Lunch - special K & fruit.
Dinner - Chicken breast/some kind of fish with veg and new potatoes.
With a mixture of water or sugar free blackcurrent diluting juice.

I dont know if this is the healthiest of diets but i know it'll be one i stick to.

I apologise by the way if I've come across as a 'cow who didn't understand what it's like' - I've not got a hippo-sized leg to stand on there, I haven't knowingly been through it. I was trying to be an 'it won't necessarily stop things happening' type person, especially as I am considerably heavier than you!

I'm also rubbish at judging the tone of emails etc and probably offend people daily >sigh

Yeah- that will be it- you probably look great and people tell you that so it is a bit of a shocker to be told you are overweight.
I am a bit anti thin to be honest and do think most look better at a healthy weight and as i said there are some very attractive overweight people out there-jennifer hudson looks gorgeous now but she also looked equally gorgeousabout 2 stone ago before the last bit of weight loss.

We just have this stupid programmed belief overweight=unattractive

It is not true. But overweight can= unhealthy for some so i guess that is the point.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do but I'm sure you look gorgeous at 23-whether you are a bit overweight or not.

Trinaluce I have just started having uncooked oats with flaxseed and bran and fresh fruit mixed in it for breakfast and it definitley wards off the cravings for half the day. In a way that is more important than the calories- foods that look after your body and nourish you so you don't binge later in the day on less healthy stuff.

Trinaluce, i didnt that that at all!
You've actually really made me laugh after a tough day so thankyou for that :)

Lalamom, Oh i am the same, i really would never want to look so thin i looked ill, but i know some people can't help that. I do miss the days of being a size 8 but i will be alot happier in 10/12 to be honest.
But i do agree that that society today put alot of pressure on people to be perfect. But what is perfect? I bet theres not many people out there, fat or thin, that are truely happy with their body.

But thankyou very much :) my DP seems to think so, so thats all i'm worried about!

tens have you ever tried slimming world? I find it really good and never any need to go hungry. Seem to be struggling to find motivation to join at present tho!

HairyLights, my MIL used to go, and when i asked her about joining with her she told me i wasnt fat enough, and all the other ladies would think i was taking the piss! So i got a bit put off it, i will look into it again though.. maybe my weight will be acceptable this time!

Not fat enough? Excellent!

I get wound up by the Lighter Life stuff - I'm actually too HEAVY to be allowed on the scheme!

Tell me about it!

I've never heard of the lighter life one!
So they want not so big people, to lose more weight?! Wow.

Hi op,

Sounds like you've had a terrible time of it and I'm very sorry for your loss. I believe you are a size 12-14! Don't know why people on this thread have picked up on this so much. After I had my DD about 2yrs ago, I was 12.5 - 13 stone, and was a size 12-14 though am pear shaped so all of my size 10 tops still fitted. Size 16 trousers were falling down my ass.

I'm about 5'6, maybe 5'7 and do believe I am 'big-boned', I have size 7 feet, big hands, big hips. Even at my ideal weight of 10.5 stone, my trousers are still a size 12 though I can fit into small tops because I have a small bust and back.

I lost my baby weight through a low-carb diet, down to 10.5 - 11 stone, this is the weight I've pretty much been since I was a teenager, I'd never go below that because I'd look awful and it'd be difficult to maintain. Low carb was great because you don't feel like you're starving yourself, and I love eating lots of meat and cheese! If you do take on the doc's advise, don't aim to lose huge amounts, maybe just a stone.

With my DD, I suffered severe preeclampsia and it did look as if her growth was starting to slow before she was delivered at 34weeks weighing 4lb6oz. However, I started the pregnancy from being a very healthy weight so don't neccessarily believe your weight is to blame for what you've been through, sometimes its just the luck (or bad luck) of the draw.

I'm sorry for your loss tens.
I'd second slimming world too, at my group there are people there who only want to lose 6 -7 lbs as well as others who want to lose 6-7 st or more, so i don't think you can be too thin and no one is at all judgemental. I lost 2st 4 lbs last year, put about 7 lbs back on since but its a good lifestyle change and as hairy said you don't go hungry you just change what you eat, you can stuff your face and still lose weight. And I know what to do to get back on track if the weight starts to creep back on.

Hi Rev, thankyou very much.
And thankyou for believing me! :)
I have size 6 feet and huge hands, i thought i was alone!

Is low carb, cutting out bread, potatoes etc..? My problem is, they are all the foods i love !

Thankyou for making me feel better too, i was really upset earlier thinking my overeating had caused it.

Thanks clutterdup, i'll definately making some enquiries :)

In response to OP ONLY: I MC last year and have been trying ever since and just had a BFN I also realsied how much weight I have put on since xmas never mind during but I am now the same size and weight I was when I concieved DS(5) (I know I am older but still) and I have thought that losing weight will help me BD more and more (evidently we are not doing it enough! and and ) well yes ... but I think it was insensitive and ill placed for the consultant to say this to you. I feel I put enough pressure on myself to add to this family and if some medical person said to me....

I know I need to lose a bit prob 2 st which I know I can do (so apt this thread as got weightwankers books out tonight for shop tomorrow) and I am off to gym tomorrow (I mean its in my diary planner thing ) But ultimately I know this will improve my chances. Its hard to swallow when you want sad/anxcious whatever bout concieving but for me I think it can only help. I dont know if TH but HTH as I am in same boat hun

TenSpeedOfGodsBlood - if you are 13 stone 8 lbs you are clinically obese - and I agree with other posters in that its easier for doctors to blame anything that goes wrong in obese women on their weight.

Also its much more unhealthy to carry it around your stomach because that way there is more fat around the internal organs although not sure if this would affect a pregnancy.

Lovenamechange, thankyou for replying to me.
Im sorry for your loss. To be honest, i think he could have been a little more tactful about it but i am glad he told me, because now, i want and need to know all the risks, which im sure is the same in your situation.

It does help alot :) nice to know i'm not the only one! In some ways (going back to you saying your under alot of pressure), i feel the same way, in some way inadequate that i couldnt carry my baby or that i couldnt give him what he needed.
But this time, i WILL do it! I am determined to do all i can.

Have you lost weight before? I did I got down from 14st to 12st, I am taller than you but I am now at the point where i just want it for myself too for health reasons (as well as TTC) as Ive noticed certain things. As I got my BFN and visited my mum this last week and this made me think how much weight she would notice I had put on as she had not seen me for a while (she not judgemental she struggle with own weight) its brought it all to a head so to speak. So I have decided to:

Do weightwatchers
Got to gym for 3 X 45 mins per week
Walk school run (20 min round trip twice daily)

I dont let my weight get me down like it used to as I accept responsibility - if I am eating rubbish (like I have been) then this is what I get, BUT when I am doing something about it I feel good and when I am at gym tomorrow lookinf like scaled down version of waynetta I dont give a hoot as I AM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT I do my hair and nails afterwards, I accessorise and make sure make the best of what ive got in the meantime self esteem and all that)

I have idetnified my sources of motivation ie my mums health issues are likely to befall me (weight realted ones) if I dont act now AND I want to be able to do stuff with DS and keep up with him. I do so much want another DC. Also my DH has been keeping himself fit (in the past we have both been the same fit/infit) so feel I need to start doing my bit.

Incidentally my GP mentioned my weight re visit to surgery a couple of years ago when we wernt in a position to try and that did get my goat up but I always respected the fact that she stood by basics of keeping healthy, she wasnt cold but didnt sugar coat either. Id forgotton about that!

Anyway weightwankers (ahem) for me tomorrow. sorry long like I saod such an apt thread was quite upset re TTC earlier today and some kind MNetter PM me too HTH.

Jeez, then it just shows how different shapes and sizes we all are. Bone density, boob weight, brain weight must all have influence. Various shops' sizing doesn't help, does it.

Just chiming in on behalf of other people who are inexplicably physically dense. I'm 5 foot 3, weigh about 12 stone, and have a 27 inch waist. I could lose a little weight but not that much. If you are the same then it's not worth worrying about.

Shop sizing is crazy, I agree. I'm nearly 5'9", a size 14-16 and was just over 13 stone when weighed in at 10 wk booking appt. Don't have anything that fits now so I suspect I am a fair bit less than that now though. Was in the overweight bracket I think.

On the high street I wear anything from a 10 to an 18...nuts!!

Oh my word! You are far from large and your doctor is talking shite!

I am 'quite big' size 24 and I paid privately for a consultant about my weight effecting my pregnant and he said it wouldn't. And it didn't.

But when I got pregnant I remember a spiteful cow telling me that cos I was fat I would have a high chance of miscarriage. People have an issue with weight and love to use it against you at every chance. To make themselves feel better I'm sure. But it is bollocks. If you eat healthy (yes it is possible to be fat and eat healthy, we don't have takeaway 6 times a day you know) and stay active then weight should not be an illness. This doesn't consider and health complications due to obesity btw of which I have none, such as diabetes, high blood pressure etc. Obv these can effect pregnancy as they would for a thiny.

Very sorry for your loss - I have read/heard that being overweight can be a contra to conceiving/pregnancy in the medis etc.

Privategodfrey - I thought that too. I'm 5ft 6 1/2 or 5ft 7 - depending who's measuring and I am struggling to fit into size 12/14. Heaviest ever been was 12 stone and was a size 16.

You are the same height and weight (and actually smaller in dress size) than I am, and I managed to carry DD perfectly well. Too well in fact, as she was evicted at 42 weeks 2days.

TenSpeed I am very sorry for your loss. I am also 5'6" and around 13 stone, and I have had an IUGR baby. My weight was not mentioned as a risk factor, although I was advised to 'keep it down' before TTC again.

I am a size 16, but I have a small waist and big chunky legs. I'm fit(ish) and do lots of exercise. Midwife who booked me when I was pregnant was shocked at my BMI (29) because I just don't look obese.

I did WW a few years back when I was heavier. I lost two and a half stone and got down to 11st 8lb. I could not maintain it and I felt very light, but it's not in a healthy BMI so I couldn't have it as my goal weight. Pissed me off. I'm very happy at about 12st and a comfy size 14. Must get back to that...

So I know how you feel about your weight, and I agree BMI is a crude measurement!

TenSpeed: you might want to consider a low GI diet. The one I recommend to anyone who will listen is called 'slow carb'. It is freely availably on the internet, very easy to follow and hugely effective. If you combine this with a resistance-based gym workout you will lose weight quickly and, importantly, put on lean muscle mass, which will help you burn more energy in the future. The advantage of resistance-based workouts at the gym is that they are shorter and you only need to go twice a week, compared to hours of treadmill slogging. Still good to cycle or run of course but it's much better to do this in the open air than in a stuffy gym.

Low GI + weights also has pretty miraculous effects on blood lipids, cholesterol, sleep patterns, bloatedness etc.