Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this guy to his manager?

278 replies

AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 17:48

Dh took one of our dc with him to Tesco earlier. They did a bit of shopping and then he took her to the cafe for a drink and a scone.
Whilst they were eating dh overheard another customer ask a cafe worker if he would keep an eye on her things,while she took her child to the loo.
The worker said yes.
The same worker then approached my dh and dd's table and said to dh..."check out the hot young mum when she comes out the toilet!!"Shock

Dh gave him one of these Hmm and turned away.
He told me when he got home,I was shocked and angry,not least because some perv had spoken like this infront of dd.

I rang Tesco and complained to the manager,who told me he was appalled.

my mum however,thought I was ott.
So,was I bu?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 27/02/2011 20:29

I would hardly call saying a woman is hot a weird sexual thing.

Was it inappropriate to say in the work place to a guest of that work place? Oh hell yes.

Did it require you, who weren't even there, to ring and complain? Oh hell no.

BTW, you asked, in the title of your thread and in the original post, 'AIBU to report this guy to his manager' and the general consensus seems to be...yes you were!!

So either accept that you were, or accept that you weren't, but don't ask the question if you don't want the answer.

Vallhala · 27/02/2011 20:30

"vallhalla and 52girls who suggest the cafe staff will be laughing at me/dh...do you really think i care?!!"

Makes no odds to me whether you care or not.

Your over-enthusiastic use of punctuation does make me think of a Terry Pratchett quote though. Wink

You do seem to be unreasonably working yourself up into a lather about it though.

Do you fear your husband's attention being drawn to hot women perhaps?

Salmotrutta · 27/02/2011 20:30

I reckon you feel bad now OP and that's why you are justifying it all on here - in case that guy gets sacked.

This is AIBU and you did ask!

Your Mum clearly thinks YABU too.

SalandersBro · 27/02/2011 20:32

I reckon OP poster knows she is right.

Vallhala · 27/02/2011 20:33

Too many "thoughs", sorry.

bettybosseye · 27/02/2011 20:33

Wait just a minute there LDNmummy, you have spent time working for anne bloody summers, selling tacky wipe clean nurses outfits and pedalling nippleless bras and you come on here jumping up and down shouting mysogeny! Please!

Original poster
AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 20:33

no saying a woman is hot isn't.but the fact that he seemed so excited by her" hotness" that he couldn't keep it to himself and had to seek out another male to share it with,is definitley weird and sexual!!
in reponse to the Outraged From Tunbridge Wells,Grin maybe you're right.I'm not a Mary Whitehouse type though,we are sitting having a drink discussing the massive boobs of a woman on tv..I am in my own home talking to someone I know and trust.Completely different if i were to go up to some woman on a bus and go,",ere,,av you seen the arse on the guy that just got off?phwooar!" that,would be weird wouldn't it? especially if the woman was sitting with a child

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 27/02/2011 20:34

So why ask on here then Salanders?

SalandersBro · 27/02/2011 20:34

betty - all of those things are erotica for private use. this is not the same at all.

Bogeyface · 27/02/2011 20:34

Valhalla....I'm dangerously close to five exclamation marks myself Wink :o

AB, if you think that saying someone is hot is "weirdly sexual" I cant help wondering how on earth your got pg with your dd in the first place :o

SalandersBro · 27/02/2011 20:36

I mean after checking it out. She was fuming at the involvement of her family in this incident and asked AIBU? A lot of us agree with her,and I reckon she is happy wit hher decision.

squeakytoy · 27/02/2011 20:37

no saying a woman is hot isn't.but the fact that he seemed so excited by her" hotness" that he couldn't keep it to himself and had to seek out another male to share it with,is definitley weird and sexual!!

no, it isnt...

and how exactly do you know how "excited" he was.. you werent fecking there!..

rosie1979 · 27/02/2011 20:39

FFS - Why post on AIBU if you are so smugly sure that you are right?

I can not read this thread anymore, its just winding me up!

Get a grip OP!

52Girls · 27/02/2011 20:39

But you rang up to complain, on behalf of your husband. That is quite funny, whether or not you happen to be bothered about it!

Salmotrutta · 27/02/2011 20:40

How many agree?

I don't see why OP would ask on here at all if she was totally happy with her decision to report the guy.

Bogeyface · 27/02/2011 20:41

I rather suspect that the reactions on here have lost her an argument with her DH Wink

squeakytoy · 27/02/2011 20:41

Salmotrutta, I think she wanted to prove her mother wrong... but I dont think she will be sharing this thread with her now Grin

52Girls · 27/02/2011 20:42

I'm sorry, but I do now have to tell you that I now have a mental picture of you in full cruisewear while complaining loudly Smile

Do you like a candle-lit supper by any chance?

bettybosseye · 27/02/2011 20:42

Salanders they are for private use but lots of the outfits are pretty degrading to women and if i had been hawking them like LDNmummy i wouldn't have the brass neck to be playing the mysongeny card in response to the op.

Salmotrutta · 27/02/2011 20:42

Hahahaha - totally agree squeakytoy

nenevomito · 27/02/2011 20:42

Weird is calling a supermarket to complain about someone you'd not seen and a conversation you weren't party to. How can you judge anything as weird if you weren't there?

YABU and have also freaked me out a bit.

usualsuspect · 27/02/2011 20:43

I bet he wishes he had never told her Grin and kept his letching story to himself

bupcakesandcunting · 27/02/2011 20:43

Tesco dude had a massive ERECTION.

Bogeyface · 27/02/2011 20:43

Well I thought it was the DH
squeakytoy but actually I think you are probably correct!

LDNmummy · 27/02/2011 20:51

Thats why I keep emphasising CONTEXT betty, Salanders has already summed up what I would say. My point is that I am not a feminist man bashing type that sees costumery or fetish mags that are for private use as always mysogynistic and catering to depraved men, but I still have a problem with this for its context and not the statement alone. I am actually very liberal about sex and sexuality but still think what the OP stated as having happened is not acceptable.