To not want to moderate my language in front of these children?

[notanumber]

I am a teacher (Secondary in inner London).

Contrary to popular belief, teachers mostly don't clock off at half past three and are in school for a good while after the pupils have left.

This means that for those teachers who are also parents, they cannot collect their children straight from their school but have to make other arrangements with childminders/after school clubs etc.

However, my teaching colleague has children who attend the nearby primary school and he chooses to have his children (about 7 and 9) walk up to the school we teach in and and hang about in the staffroom until he is ready to go (usually about 90 minutes).

The school is short of space, many people don't have their own classrooms, and in any case classrooms are often used after the end of the offical day for twilight or revision lessons.

Therefore, the staffroom is very very busy in the hour or so after the final bell. Lots of people working (marking or planning), some people doing the networking stuff (talking to HOYs about particular pupils, calling parents, discussing upcoming lessons with their department) and others just relaxing and gossiping.

Basically it is full. Full of teachers who have got to the end of the day and dealing with all the stuff they have to do or just blowing off steam.

Teahing is a stressful job and sometimes shouting, "cunting top set year 11 make me want to kill myself!" is necessary to maintain sanity. This is extreme though, but many people do swear and discuss non-child friendly things fairly routinely.

Ok, after all that, here comes the AIBU!

On occasion, when there has been some colourful language the teacherparent
has been known to admonish with, "Language! Do you mind? There are children in here?"

The thing is, there shouldn't be children in the staffroom IMO. The clue is in the name - it's a staffroom, not a crèche.

It is the one space in the school where you can let you guard down and say what you like. especially if it's "after hours".

AIBU to think that if he doesn't want his children to hear "language" then he should make proper arrangements for them?

[palomadove]

Haven't read all of this thread, but:

YABU to think it's ok to use terms like "cunting" in a professional environment, however stressful. There are plenty of adults who would find this offensive, and, frankly, it displays a deficiency of vocabulary. There are lots of stressful jobs around, not just teaching - no-one has to swear.

YANBU to think this dad shouldn't bring his kids into the staffroom, unless he's had some sort of agreement to do so - as others have said, there could be confidentiality issues.

In my workplace, we're allowed to bring children in if the boss agrees and the parent can supervise them constantly. It doesn't happen often.

It's a robust environment and there is sometimes adult language, but people do moderate their behaviour if there are young people or children present.

[FunnysInTheGarden]

paloma Totally agree on both points. Trouble with teachers is that they all think they have the hardest job in the world, and I should know practically my whole family teach as does DH. He is the only one who understands that other professions are difficult too.

[Longtalljosie]

I work in a newsroom, and 10 years ago it was considered necessary for the air to be a mild shade of blue. These days hardly anyone swears at all, and no-one has yet exploded.

I know you want to swear (although I'm a bit shocked anyone would say "cunting" in any workplace) but what are you going to say to your boss? My colleague's children are coming between me and my right to say fuck at regular intervals?

[jenandberry]

Total nonsense Funny. I do not think I have the hardest job in the world and I do not know another teacher who thinks they do. What kind of mug chooses the hardest job in the world with a starting salsary of around 25K.

[mrsbumbledosem]

As I said I think you should speak to him first. I really don't see why other posters have a problem with teachers swearing in their own special room.

[shaz298]

Haven't read all of this but I do think you are being unreasonable and you are giving teachers a bad rep..........

As a teacher I would expect you, at the very least, to have respect for children, all children, not just those in your particualr class. As such, if you respect them you won't swear around them.

However I do also think your colleague is being unreasonable by bringing his kids into school - what does the HT say about it?

[NinkyNonker]

What JenandBerry said.

[UnseenAcademicalMum]

I used to go into the staff room at my mum's school regularly at the end of the school day. As did children of other staff members. At that school it was considered ok provided the parent was there.
Having confidential material on notice boards is just bad practice. If something is really confidential it should not be on a notice board.

[tethersend]

at robotlollypopman.

Did you work at my school?

[lesley33]

I don't think teachers shouldn't swear "in their own special room." I just think teachers don't NEED to swear to deal with stress.

[Goblinchild]

No one does lesley, I prefer Organic yoga and a bit of macrobiotic chanting. backed up with serous chocolate.

[notanumber]

UnseenAcademicalMum - Don't be daft. Confidential amongst the teachers. That means it's not to be shared with random pupils, parents etc.

If a child has lost a grandparent resently and is exhibiting behavioural issues that need special consideration given the circumstances, this will stuck up on a noticeboard. Or the situation Pixie described. Just loads of slightly sensitive stuff.

Clearly this is an appropriate way of imparting information. And clearly it should be reasonable to assume that - as it's a staffroom - only staff will be able to see it.

[penguin73]

I think YANBU, I have major issues with staff regularly bringing in children due to confidentiality issues after being told I couldn't discuss a child with another teacher because someone's son was sat in the corner. Although it was urgent as the parent was on the phone and I really needed their input before I could answer the parent's questions I was expected to drag the other teacher away from what they were doing and find another room in case the pupil heard something they shouldn't. There is also the issue of children reading something they shouldn't - teachers shouldn't have to worry about these things but unfortunately they frequently do.

[MrsTittleMouse]

If I was a parent of a child at your school, I would be livid that there were children in the staff room - where else is there for teachers to discuss the pupils in private?

The swearing is a red herring, it's confidentiality that is the real issue.

[UnseenAcademicalMum]

But pixie, we have issues like that too e.g. where staff need to know about students with special needs etc, but this information is circulated via passworded, encrypted email. Only staff who need to know are informed as the student may not want attention drawn to a condition and details are never printed out.

[weegiemum]

Also at robotlollypopman

I'm not a sweary person much, but isn't "cunting" pretty much a description of especially some y11 (what I call "S5", being in Scotland) top sets. The mos tarrogant, entitled kids I have ever taught!

[notanumber]

There's a big difference between an eleven year old (or younger) and an eighteen year old, UAM.

I'm not sure that you can draw such direct comparisons between how your institution handles such matters and how it is appropriate for a school to do so.

[notanumber]

And yes, at robotlollypopman.

Towards the end of a long term I sometimes daydream about telling certain children a few home truths

[UnseenAcademicalMum]

But that doesn't mean it can't be done how we do it at university. Notice boards are notoriously ignored. There are other, more secure ways of communicating sensitive or confidential material.

[jenandberry]

Of course everyone needs to let of steam every now and again but it staff need to be routinely swearing and calling pupils "cunting " I would say there is a problem in the school that needs addressing. Not least for the sake of the staff, it cannot be healthy to get that stressed.

I am not saying the child shoudl be in the staffroom, that is a different issue.

[notanumber]

There is the issue of supply teachers, UAM. It's different at school. A child may have twelve or more teachers all of whom may go on a course or be off sick etc and be replaced temporarily with a supply teacher.