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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I flashed my headlights at someone today and then gave them the finger

177 replies

activate · 24/02/2011 17:20

fucking witch wouldn't let me pull out from parking into a slow-moving queue at traffic lights

seriously made a point of speeding up until she was level with me

The person behind her did though

so I flashed and gave her the finger

she deserved it - it was such purposeful bad manners / etiquette whatever you call it

AIBU?

OP posts:
GotArt · 24/02/2011 21:27

I think there are drivers out there that are aggressive and uncourteous and make passive points of letting you know that they are doing it to you. The other day we had one riding our ass, weaving back and forth on the lanes, rushing past us a car length, then falling behind us again; it was dangerous and comical. The traffic was such that really, there was no point, he wasn't going to get ahead. Finally, when the lanes turned to three, and slower traffic merged to the outside lane, he zoomed up the middle and I just shrugged, (I was doing 10k over the speed limit myself) but because I was watching traffic, I noticed a car coming the other way was flashing lights, which here indicates a police car ahead, and sure enough, he got pulled over. I laughed my ass off.

GotArt · 24/02/2011 21:28

OP... just leave it. No sense in letting it get to you because you'll just take that with you when you drive next. Just be a courteous driver yourself.

BooyFuckingHoo · 24/02/2011 21:34

my dad had terrible road rage. he really frightened me as a child in the car with him. he caught himself on a couple of years ago after quite an embarassing incident. he is self employed and was on the way to a job when a car pulled out infront of him without indicators. dad flashed the lights, got his temper up, swore in the other driver's mirror etc. he settled down and carried on his way, only realising when he pulled into the cul-de-sac he was working at that the otehr driver was still infront of him and even worse, pulling into the drive of teh house he was working at. he pulled up and got out, the other driver, also in a rage jumped out of his car and swore at dad asking him what the hell he was doing following him. dad replied "i'm not following you, I'm your , " cue two very red faces, hands were shaken and apologies made. lesson learned by both. he laughs about it now but it's certainly one to think about before you let your temper make a fool out of you.

jonicomelately · 24/02/2011 21:37

I really hate people who do things like you did today OP. It makes me as angry as people who litter the streets.

mmsmum · 24/02/2011 21:39

YABU, and you ought to be more careful, remember you have no idea who is in the other car and what they might have done back to you. Hopefully, she laughed at you.

Mists · 24/02/2011 21:42

I've only just discovered the stories of my Granddad (proper old-school Irish) taking his driving tests. No lessons for him back in the late fifties or whenever it was.

On one test my Mum had accompanied him to the centre and he arrived back within five minutes minus the examiner because "he told me to go left and I didn't want to. It's MY fecking car so I told him to get the FECK out so I did!"

So I suppose we should be grateful that such people are no longer be on the roads...

BooyFuckingHoo · 24/02/2011 21:42

i do laugh at people who get really angry behind the wheel. it is funny that they get so worked up over perceived slights. them effing and jeffing doesn't affect me one little bit. only pissing themselves off.

ZuzuBailey · 24/02/2011 21:54

"she deserved it - it was such purposeful bad manners / etiquette whatever you call it"

And your manners were impeccable Hmm

Did you have children in the car with you?

KazBarTFG · 24/02/2011 22:02

Booy - there's a good lesson in that story, and perhaps one I'll remember if I'm ever in a situation like that...

I 'know' drivers like that because I sit in the canteen at the same time the drivers take their lunches, constantly tutting and rolling my eyes at some of the comments.

I believe that if everyone had more common courtesy the the roads would be a lot safer is all.

I let people in all the time, unless it immediately puts the car behind me in danger, if not then I don't let them in.

But I'd never ever speed up to ensure someone didn't get out, I find that very calculated and mean.

OTheHugeManatee · 24/02/2011 22:09

I sometimes speed up to stop other cars pulling out. But driving in London will turn even the mildest 'after you, please' driver into a psycho eventually.

BooyFuckingHoo · 24/02/2011 22:11

i agree, courtesy costs nothing. liek i said, if i needed to get home fast or was in bad form afetr not being thanked endless times then i would not let people out. if i had to speed up to do it then it doesn't make sense, because if you were that far back so as to leave enough space for them then them getting out wont put you any further back than you already were. but then again, people that have a tendancy towards road rage don't often employ logic when doing so. Smile

notjustapotforsoup · 24/02/2011 22:28

Despite my previous comments, I am a "letter-in". I dislike it, though, when other drivers just assume that I should. I don't expect it return and I'm just grateful when people do let me in. I wait for the gap and go when someone stops. How hard is that? Maybe the other driver thought that you were just going to pull out, so got out of your way so that she didn't get hit? Although, you would have been at fault insurance-wise, of course.

activate - you likened your situation to a checkout queue earlier. Do you see that you have actually assigned yourself the wrong role in that analogy? She was the one "going to the checkout" and you were the one nipping in.

huddspur · 24/02/2011 22:32

YABU she doesn't have to let you in if she doesn't want to

Original poster
activate · 24/02/2011 22:32

oh FGS

there was ample space

she actually speeded to ensure that I had to swerve back

leaving a gap behind her where the car behind hadn't speeded up

so she speeded up for the sake of about, by this time 4 car-lengths

-flashes headlights at you all-

  • raises hand-

-waves in a Queen-like manner and goes to bed-

night all

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 24/02/2011 22:35

I love the OP.

scottishmummy · 24/02/2011 23:06

delusions of grandeur and bad temper.aye most like royals.they think they should be able to do what they want too

ARepleteHmmSkiNun · 24/02/2011 23:41

Why oh why do women never say thank you when you let them out/through? Feminism will cause a lot of deaths in the near future

Tortington · 24/02/2011 23:49

I was on a duel carriageway once on the outside lane - going quite fast to overtake a sodding lorry, when a nobber UNDERTOOK me and with inches pulled out between me and the lorry. i beeped my hoen and fliped him the bird for a good couple of miles wilst i tailgated him.

dh later said that i could have had my face smashed in and he could have followed me to work. i didn't think of that at the time, and so i am much more careful when flipping the bird to ensure i am not followed or dh is at home

TurkeyBurgerThing · 25/02/2011 07:12

You should have just pulled anyway out like busses do. They have right of way though, and man don't they know it!

YABU. You had no prority.

Gemsy83 · 25/02/2011 08:36

My Dad's work colleague flashed his lights at someone for a similar thing. When they both pulled up along each other at traffic lights the guy got out with a claw hammer and started smashing the fooking windscreen. Wonder how brave the 'flasher' felt then?

BooyFuckingHoo · 25/02/2011 10:40

i always thank drivers for their courtesy, i wave long enough to make sure they see me or i blink my hazard lights, beep the horn etc. and i am a woman so that blows your theory out of the water ARepleteHmmSkiNun

Takeresponsibility · 25/02/2011 10:58

I work in France and when endeavouring to understand French driving attitudes to traffic lights, roundabouts etc have been told by French colleagues (more than once) I am a free Frenchman - no bunch of lights and wires (traffic lights) is going to tell me what to do!

By the way if someone flashes you (headlights ladies - simmer down please) at a junction in France they mean I'm coming through, not letting you out.

GotArt · 25/02/2011 20:09

Ohh Take That's good to know. Here it means there is a speed trap ahead in the direction you are heading.

I always thank the person who lets me in! Another blow to your theory ARepleteHmm Grin

FourFingeredKitkat · 26/02/2011 16:25

Just a thought, you weren't trying to "undertake" were you OP, all be it at low speed?

louzie74 · 26/02/2011 17:38

hmmmm........you start a thread to ask peoples opinions ...then tell everyone their wrongConfused
YABU

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