To ask if you ever smack?

[thatwasntverycleverwasit]

I am suffering from enormous guilt having delivered one swift smack to the back of DDs legs when I was at the end of my rope (first, and I hope only, time). Yes it was unreasonable and I said sorry to her. But it seems to be a completely taboo subject - surely I can't be the only Mum to have done this?

Well I'm the child of immigrants and I can tell you that in a lot of cultures smacking is par for the course; It's only in the Western world that smacking is a no-no.

To the people who say there is no difference between smacking a child and abusing a child, then you are saying that a huge part of the world's parents are abusing their children.

To all the above: that's my experience too. Actually I am Italian and in Italy it is still par of the course and even teachers still smack children (have seen it many many times). I don't think we are a nation of mentally disturbed people tbh. I don't like it but I still don't buy that as a whole generation of "smacked" kids we were all abused.

Beribboned - 'When she has pushed and pushed she has been warned she will lose a treat/TV time and as I said, even when it's hard I follow through.'

See, in any other circumstances, this wouldn't be acceptable either, would it? Can you imagine a husband trying to justify limiting his DW's TV time for not doing as she's told? Wouldn't that be some sort of emotional abuse?

"did you try to tap yourself on the back of the hand with two fingers? did it hurt? did it feel like a hit?"

So if it doesn't hurt even remotely, then what's it for?

If it is just to attract their attention - like saying their name in a special "mummmy's not pleased' voice- then why are you posting about it on a thread about smacking?

So why are you posting on a smacking thread?

But smacking IS violence.

What you are doing is - (in my opinion)- a bit odd and unnecessary, but it's not smacking.

The trouble is that a lot of pro-smackers use "tap" as a euphemism. It does sound as if you are one of the few who doesn't.

Ah - "short sharp shock"

One of my "smacking bingo" phrases.

As you were. You are on the right thread!

Smacking IS violence.

And it humiliates kids.

There's no excuses for using it.

Try another way.

^"People in glasshouses really shouldn't throw stones tobylerone

by it's very definition

I really wouldn't be questioning other people's writing skills"^

Wow, seriously? A typo, autocorrected by my phone. Not quite the same thing, but feel free to feel superior.

Have done many years ago through frustration, being at end of tether and sleep deprived - totally wrong, didn't work other than to shock and really upset me so haven't done it since and won't ever do it again.

"I smacked DD the other day when she hit me in the face with a cup. (a proper mug) She is too young to understand a telling off, and that kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable."

This sort of thing, and the poster who said she'd smacked her child because he'd hurt his sibling, is absolute proof of the reason I don't hit my children.

"You hurt me/your brother, which was unacceptable. So now I'm going to hurt you, because that is acceptable. That'll teach you!"

It just doesn't make any sense

"She is too young to understand a telling off, and that kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable"

If she's too young to understand a telling off, surely she's too youg to understand thas the behaviour is completely unacceptable and too young to understand a smack?

My dd's main behaviour issues as an 18 month old was hitting me (really smacking me round the face as I tried to get her into her car seat). so seemed unhelpful to smack.

I have done it once - smacked the back of her hand. Tbh I think I did it so lightly in her tizz she didn't notice! Haven't done it sincea and use the step for her to calm down before we talk - she's 3 now and that works, but she sometimes puts herself on it and I have to take her off and sit her somewhere else otherwise I think it loses the point.

That's exactly my point toby. We all make mistakes and it shouldn't detract from what we're trying to say.

But your point is wrong, Stata. Me suggesting that someone might have reading comprehension difficulties and her coming back and saying I'd criticised her writing (which I didn't) is proving my original point. She did not understand what I had written. That is a reading comprehension issue, and an issue around knowing the definitions of words, which was my original point.

A typo/autocorrection is an accident. Not knowing what 'reading comprehension' means and assuming it means something else and accusing someone of something they didn't do because of that, is a different thing altogether.

The fact is, I don't think altinkum did understand what I was trying to say. Whether this is due to deliberate willfulness or a problem with reading comprehension is not for me to say. Neither is it the point of this post.

There are different levels of writing here on Mumsnet; which reflects society at large. So that ok.

I suppose thats why the broadsheets are different to the tabs. And the BBC is different to Talk Radio.

cheers "Gabby"

Smacking because you lose your temper and hit out is wrong for obvious reasons.

Smacking in a controlled way because you think it's a good way to discipline children is also obviously wrong to decide coolly and with pre planning to hit someone who is small and vulnerable.

So. That's smacking dealt with. Next!

Phew thanks for that seeker