To ask if you ever smack?

[thatwasntverycleverwasit]

I am suffering from enormous guilt having delivered one swift smack to the back of DDs legs when I was at the end of my rope (first, and I hope only, time). Yes it was unreasonable and I said sorry to her. But it seems to be a completely taboo subject - surely I can't be the only Mum to have done this?

I might need to disagree with you on that one swallowed - I think there are degrees of abuse and degrees of abuser.

Not for a while, but I have a few times, yes. I thinking smacking is absolutely wrong, but there were times when I was stressed generally and a child pushed me over the edge. I felt terrible about it and apologised afterwards - just as I would expect them to apologise if they hit someone.

I would never, ever smack as a calm, controlled form of discipline because I just think it is wrong. And I don't get this 'tap' thing. wtf is a tap??? Apart from being a silly euphemism from people who don't want to own up to smacking.

So if your friend/boss/partner lightly 'tapped' you as they explained something they thought you had trouble understanding would that be OK?

Or would you feel anger/shame/fear....?

I always find it interesting that all of the arguements used in defense of being allowed to hit a child as a form of discipline are the same arguements that men used to use in defence of hitting their wives in the past.

"The thing about smacking as I said 7 pages ago is that no it doesn't work, no it's not ideal, not big and not clever but my god you'd have to be a saint not to because children can press your buttons in a way adults simply never would."

I must have known an awful lot of saints then...

The truth is that in a society where smacking is culturally acceptable there will be far more parents who claim it is impossible to do without it than in a society where it is not socially acceptable. If it is not socially acceptable, the majority of people will try to manage without it. And no, my family were not secret smackers- they did genuinely manage without it. Not because they were saints, but because smacking just wasn't the done thing.

the child-parent relationship is a completely different relationship to the boss-worker or friend-friend relationship. it's a totally different set of rights and responsibilities

As hula said, police used to turn a blind eye to DV because it was a 'different relationship' and a private matter.

Hitting another person is wrong.

You may not like to hear it but long after the physical pain has gone, the feelings of low self worth and fear/shame are still there.

Oh so you tap them on the shoulder and say please don't do that?

Based on what evidence beribboned? As I said, if there was any robust evidence showing that it does harm children, I wouldn't do it - and am more than happy to reconsider my position in the light of any evidence presented to me. So far, I haven't seen any.

IMO smacking a child is DV. Against the child. Who has no choice but to put up and shut up. They can hardly pack a bag and leave.

You belittle anyone who has experienced DV beribboned

Any smacking is awful. I do see what you're saying there swallowed (not being facetious) but I think it's the calculated decision to smack I think people find particularly hard to understand.

As someone that has stata I don't agree.