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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't have to eat everything at once to ensure getting something???

154 replies

TheyDidntKillKenny · 21/02/2011 16:41

This happens all the time in our house. We buy something and within a day or so it's all gone. DH is the main culprit. He can't just leave something there, if he knows it's there he has to eat or drink it. An example - orange juice. I like fresh orange juice in a morning. DH drinks it constantly. We used to buy one big carton but DH would drink the lot before I had chance to have any. So after coming downstairs many times to an empty carton I told DH I'd buy my own just so I knew I could have some with my breakfast. He agreed. But then what happened was, he'd drink mine too. His excuse was "well I didn't think you wanted it, it's been there 3 days". My reasoning "yes but I DID want it, just not all at once" so he'd say "well if you want it, you should have drunk it". In the end I just stopped buying orange juice because I never got any anyway. But this happens with everything. If we buy a multipack of crisps, DH will eat them. Same with biscuits etc. A few weeks ago I picked up a pack of bounty cake things, there was 5 in the packet and I was really looking forward to trying one. I went to grab one the next day only to find the empty wrapper in the cupboard. DH said "I didn't think you wanted them." So it kind of erupted into an argument last night. Last week I bought 2 multipacks of muller light yogurts. By thursday there were only 2 left. DH said "I've saved us some of these before the kids eat them, which one do you want, toffee or cheesecake flavour?" I said "Toffee, it's the only flavour I like". So he eats the other one. Last night I remembered about the toffee yogurt, went to get it and needless to say, it had gone. DH said "well you should make sure you get in there before anyone else!". I shouldn't have to!!!! I said "I'm getting sick of this, if you don't scoff everything at once in this house you don't bloody get anything". He just went really quiet. I said "sod it, I'll have a snowball instead". Needless to say, they'd all gone too. I never got chance to try them either.

I know it sounds petty (hence the name-change, as I have another 'sensitive' thread going on that I don't want mixing with this one) but AIBU to think I deserve a bit more respect here?? Is it right that if you're part of a family it's a free-for-all with the food and that if you don't eat it instantly it's tough shit that you never get anything? Half the time I feel like hiding stuff I buy but I shouldn't have to!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 21/02/2011 16:59

I used to hide stuff in the wardrobe too lol!!!

In the end I actually stopped buying crisps, biscuits, fizzy drink.. basically anything that was snacks. I just bought meat, veg, and basics. It was getting beyond a joke as I would get home from work the day after shopping to an empty fridge and bare cupboards.. the kids would have been in, fed themselves, their mates.. and nothing left for me or DH. It was amazing how much this saved on the shopping bill, and it was all stuff that we didnt really NEED.

squeakytoy · 21/02/2011 17:03

I grew up with a policy of you get your meals and thats it. No helping yourself to anything out of the fridge.. simply because there was nothing in it to help yourself to!

We had three meals a day and supper.. so it wasnt a case of being starved.. lol.. but my mum was old school, and didnt believe in snacking between meals.

I didnt have much of a sweet tooth anyway and preferred raw tomatoes with salt on when I was a kid.

We had two bottles of pop a week, and when they were gone, they were gone. There was a petrol station a few doors down from our house, so in the evening if anyone fancied a pack of crisps or a bar of chocolate we would just go and buy one.

Original poster
TheyDidntKillKenny · 21/02/2011 17:03

Putting stuff on seperate shelves won't work. Yesterday my mum sent 3 activia yogurts for the 3 kids. I've just noticed DH has eaten two of them. He does have a weight problem and he is a compulsive eater but it is so maddening because surely even the greediest bastard in the world can see that other people are entitled to eat too? We both buy the shopping because he insists on having a say in what we buy (because he knows I'd buy more fruit and veg rather than cakes and biscuits) and there isn't a lot I ask for. I really don't think it's too much to ask that I'm saved ONE yogurt out of 12??? It makes me so angry. Half the time I honestly wonder if he does it out of spite. Finances are tight so he knows we can't afford to just keep on replacing stuff all the time.

OP posts:
TeaOneSugar · 21/02/2011 17:04

Opposite problem here, I'll leave something for DH, tell him it's there and then end up throwing it away (or giving it to the dog)because it's out of date.

Another time he'll eat something I needed to make a specific meal and I have to get more or change the meal plan.

squeakytoy · 21/02/2011 17:06

Finances wouldnt be as tight if you got the fruit and veg instead of the cakes and biscuits. He does sound a selfish arse to be honest.

Its not too bad to control it if it is the kids that are scoffing it all, but when its your DH, that does make it a lot harder.

compo · 21/02/2011 17:07

He sounds greedy and selfish and tbh really unattractive to be so unthinking

megapixels · 21/02/2011 17:07

YANBU at all. He sounds pretty greedy. People usually buy food to last them a few days or a week isn't it, not to eat everything in one go.

Do you have a lockable cupboard? You shouldn't have to treat him like a child but needs must...

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/02/2011 17:07

OP, would you have the time to shop daily and buy only e.g. single yoghurts for that day's meals only?

compo · 21/02/2011 17:08

Why should she have to ?

compo · 21/02/2011 17:09

I'd show him this thread and tell him he's got to change

shadycharacter · 21/02/2011 17:09

Agree with the post-it note idea.

Separate multipacks out, stick on the post-it notes to say you ARE going to eat this, so please do not steal it DH! That way, he would have to blatantly ignore the note asking others to kindly not steal your food...if he does that, he's just ridiculously greedy, disrespectful and selfish and I'd probably buy myself a mini fridge with a padlock!

controlpantsandgladrags · 21/02/2011 17:09

There can be a lot more to compulsive eating than greed and selfishness. If he genuinely can't help himself, he would benefit from talking to a counsellor about it.

Have you sat down with him and tried to have a proper conversation about it? Does he realise that he is eating food bought for his children?

minibmw2010 · 21/02/2011 17:10

Well I guess then you are going to have to be brutal with him. Tell him that he's being a greedy bastard, he's taking food his children could have (really play on that) and he's leaving the whole family without just so he can be a glutton and you won't accept it any longer. Also tell him he has a weight problem that he just cannot ignore anymore.

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/02/2011 17:10

compo, she shouldn't - but it might be less stressful for her, and make him address his compulsive eating.

BrandyAlexander · 21/02/2011 17:10

You just described my live-in nanny to a tee! It drives me crazy and as someone else describes it, I just find it all selfish and greedy as she just has no self control at all. So far, I have tried hiding things (stopped because how childish is that?!), denying less treats/food for myself (why should I do that?) or buying more food (the more I buy, the more she eats). I have had to bite the bullet and ask her not to eat everything as I am saving some for myself. Puts me in an embarassing position. I feel for you OP.

GiddyPickle · 21/02/2011 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dinkystinky · 21/02/2011 17:11

If he's a compulsive overeater you're just going to have to allocate him his cupboard - with his food in it - and his shelf in the fridge and tell him to buy his own food, put it in there and he can gorge on that as much as he likes. The REST of the food is for the family as a whole and he's not to touch it. If he cant comply with that, then he has to accept he's got issues!

compo · 21/02/2011 17:12

Could he do all the shopping so he realises he's a pita

manicbmc · 21/02/2011 17:13

If you are the one doing the cooking then put your foot down. If you can, do the shopping at a time when he can't come so he has no say. Maybe buy him the occasional treat just for him like you would reward a child.

TragicallyHip · 21/02/2011 17:13

Id lose the plot if that was my Dh. He sounds like a greedy bastard, and to even take the kids yoghurt!

Boozilla · 21/02/2011 17:16

Get a lockable mini fridge. They're about £100 on Amazon but to be honest you'd probably save that much in a week or two with all the compulsive eating going on!

Or, get one of those plastic storage boxes from B&Q and store it somewhere outside while the weather's cold. You can keep your stuff in there out of their way!

Your DH is going to have some serious health issues if he keeps putting food away at that rate.

dittany · 21/02/2011 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belledechocchipcookie · 21/02/2011 17:17

Wow! Does he have prada willis syndrome or something? Anyone above the age of 3 realises that they can't just eat and eat, not to mention the fact that it's incredibly selfish to behave this way. Has he always been like this? I'd be tempted to lock the food away and leave a small amount on the side for him. He needs help with this, so do you.

FabbyChic · 21/02/2011 17:22

Id refuse for one week to buy any treats for anybody.

Then when asked why state you never get any so thought they could all go without.

You are not helping our DH at all with his weight if you keep buying shit he will keep eating it.

Don't buy anymore until he learns that being greedy does not pay.

He is on the route to a shorter life with a heart attack if he doesn't start looking after himself. I dread to think what he looks like naked.

littlepinklulu · 21/02/2011 17:23

Yanbu my dp was excatly the same! He would constantly eat anything nice i bought and id have nothing when i really fancied it. He would always say. 'I dont like sweet things' then in the night eat every sweet thing we had!, even down to a cookie and cream milkshake id been saving. I couldnt have something if i didnt want it straight away because he'd have it. In the end i went mental at him for being so selfish and greedy i also stoped buying stuff, which worked because now he still does it but he knows to stay away from anything iv declared as mine or there will be hell to pay!