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AIBU?

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Original poster

For this to make me so angry - obese teenager, todays Daily Telegraph

238 replies

foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 11:37

link

Basically, she was funded by her local health board to attend a programme in the USA at a cost of over £4k a month for a 9 month period....

"She said: "I'd been following a programme of healthy eating in the camp where I'd been living in North Carolina, America, and I'd learned to enjoy low-fat foods like salads, bagels, yoghurt and even buffalo meat. "I was really looking forward to trying it all out back home but, when I arrived, my mum said she hadn't had time to prepare any healthy food so we had fish and chips instead.

"From that moment on, I had a niggling feeling that things weren't going to work out."

OP posts:
FreudianSlippery · 21/02/2011 11:40

:(

Hammy02 · 21/02/2011 11:40

What are you angry about? The poor girl has a hell of life and it seems that food is her escape. I bet she is deeply unhappy. I think she should be given a break and get out of the family situation to enable her to recover long-term. Her mother isn't helping her at all.

Deaddei · 21/02/2011 11:40

At 17 surely she's old enough to prepare her own meals.
What a waste of public money.

Original poster
foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 11:41

Sorry should saw why I am angry - basically that the daughter (whose life is at life due to her weight) had a fantastic opportunity in the USA and that the Mum wasn't on board so she gained on the weight again. I guess I am sad as well as angry.

OP posts:
PedlarsSpanner · 21/02/2011 11:42
Sad
AboardtheAxiom · 21/02/2011 11:42

my first thoughts were

"bloody hell the HS forked out for that!?"

and

"poor girl's mother obviously sabotaged her daughter's weightloss" Shock

I feel sorry for her, it seems like she really embraced living a healthier lifestyle, and then came home and nothing at home changed.

frasersmummy · 21/02/2011 11:44

She says she cant exercise as she cant afford the gym. Whats wrong with walking??

AboardtheAxiom · 21/02/2011 11:44

NHS Hmm I really ought to preview Blush

They'd have been better putting her in some kind of supported accomadation wouldn't they. Like older looked after children go to to learn to live independantly.

LadyThumb · 21/02/2011 11:44

I watched this young lady at Fat Camp, and she was really motiviated and strong. However, before she went to the camp she was filmed at home, and it was glaringly obvious that her mother was going to be unsupportive!

It is such a shame, I feel really sorry for her as the support back here in the UK was minimal. If she was in her own flat and in charge of her own life I think things would be different - but that mother, OMG!!

Zippylovesgeorge · 21/02/2011 11:44

Oh ffs

Surely if she's learnt how to prepare these things in the US then she could do that at home??

Also even the walking to the shops every day to buy ingredients would be better than no exercise at all.

What a waste of money - however I suspect it won't be the last public money spent on her :(

BuzzLiteBeer · 21/02/2011 11:44

She's 17 years old though, old enough to take responsibility for herself and her own weight. To have that much money spent/wasted on you to help you and you come back and do what? Go right back to how you were before.

Its far too easy to blame it all on the mother.

NoSuchThingAsSociety · 21/02/2011 11:45

What a waste of money - quite why we're spending it on her is beyind me.

EricNorthmansMistress · 21/02/2011 11:46

YANBU - but I'd be interested to know how much therapy and education the mother had. If she's also a food addict and enables her daughter's addiction then all the therapy in the world won't help the daughter. It would be like releasing an alcoholic from rehab to live in a pub.

cornslik · 21/02/2011 11:47

Poor girl Sad

Original poster
foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 11:50

I do think the blame lies with the mother. If you see that your teenager is morbidly obese you should ensure that they have healthy food given to them. Very few 17 year olds would take responsbility and cook their own food.

This girl was obviously very overweight as a younger teenager as well.

And yes, clearly was not a good use of NHS funds, would have been much better for the money to be used towards weekly trips to nutritionalist/dietician over the longer term.

OP posts:
BuzzLiteBeer · 21/02/2011 11:52

it might have been to begin with, but had been away for 9 whole months supposedly totally re-educated about food. She comes home and the ma says we're getting fish and chips..and its not her responsibility to say "no, actually, I'll have something else"?

Do me a favour.

GypsyMoth · 21/02/2011 11:53

Not read the link, but does she work? If not, how could she walk to the shops to buy healthy stuff if she had no money?

PlanetEarth · 21/02/2011 11:54

Dear me, where to begin?

Does it cost 4k a month to teach someone to enjoy yoghurts?

Is it so much time and work for mum to prepare a bagel?

She's 17, can't she make a salad herself?

OK, I'll stop now...

GiddyPickle · 21/02/2011 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bonsoir · 21/02/2011 11:58

I'm not sure how a teenager who lives at home and is not earning is expected to take control of her own catering if her mother is determined to sabotage any attempts at leading a healthy lifestyle.

Lots of children are emprisoned by their parents in dysfunctional behavioural patterns - though this seems very extreme.

got2bequackers · 21/02/2011 11:59

If anorexia is sectionable why isn't this?

22 stone in 1 year is not just a little bit of overeating is it.

I am a big woman myself (admittedly not 40 stone big) but I realise that that is mainly my fault, with a nice dose of emotional issues kicked in. If I need some therapy that poor kid needs proper long term psychiatric care. And being removed from her abusive (because that's what it is) mother.

LadyThumb · 21/02/2011 12:01

I think if you had seen the state of the house, and particularly the kitchen, you would realise why this girl couldn't fend for herself in that house. It was appalling!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 21/02/2011 12:01

Agree entirely with planetearth. At 17 I could shop, cook and walk to the shop on my own to do those things.
Sadly some women are 'feeders'. My DD was at school with a hugely overweight child. The mother OTOH was a slim stylish woman. She overfed her child, dressed her in some ridiculous things and had her hair cut like a sheep. The tragedy of DDs friend was she was 7 so had no input into it. what child wouldn't want choc bars and crisps galore?

QuintessentialShadows · 21/02/2011 12:01

Give me a break. If she had prepared her own food and exercised for 9 months, there is no reason she should not have prepared her own food at home, and gone for walks. Her own fault, basically.

Bloodymary · 21/02/2011 12:01

She is 17, surely she has her own money coming in? therefore she can buy her own food, and then prepare it herself.
I am not without sympathy, but she is not helping herself.