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AIBU?

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Original poster

For this to make me so angry - obese teenager, todays Daily Telegraph

238 replies

foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 11:37

link

Basically, she was funded by her local health board to attend a programme in the USA at a cost of over £4k a month for a 9 month period....

"She said: "I'd been following a programme of healthy eating in the camp where I'd been living in North Carolina, America, and I'd learned to enjoy low-fat foods like salads, bagels, yoghurt and even buffalo meat. "I was really looking forward to trying it all out back home but, when I arrived, my mum said she hadn't had time to prepare any healthy food so we had fish and chips instead.

"From that moment on, I had a niggling feeling that things weren't going to work out."

OP posts:
octopusinabox · 21/02/2011 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialShadows · 21/02/2011 12:04

If she had truly learnt something at the programme, she would have known to eat smaller portions of fatty food, and exercise more to keep the weight off.

Original poster
foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 12:15

I think at 17 and living at home it would be very hard to eat differently to the family unless the mum was very supportive and encouraging.

Yes at 17 she could prepare own food, but with support (ie the mum buying the food) and encouraging (no, the fish and chips aren't for you).

OP posts:
got2bequackers · 21/02/2011 12:19

Quintessentialshadows ~ do you feel so strongly about anorexia or bulimia sufferers? After 1 lot of therapy its a bulima sufferers own fault if they make themselves sick again (especially if placed back in a house witha bulimic mother who doesnt see what the problem is and actively encourages the behaviour)

I am not saying that any of this is right i am saying that this child needs to be protected and offerered long term help rather than written off because "fat is funny"

Alcoholic sent out of rehab to live in a pub?

Drug adict sent to live in a crack den?

Bulimic sent back to live with a bulimic mother.

Fat kid sent back to live with an overeating and enabling parent?

Which of the above situations are acceptable? And how are they different?

worraliberty · 21/02/2011 12:21

I blame the parents for getting her to that weight in the first place.

But she can take control now with a little help from home. Yes she's 17 and can shop and cook for herself but where will the money come from to buy her own food?

It's a bit scary how so many parents think nothing of neglecting their children so they become fat or morbidly obese. There was a thread on here the other day about the governments drive to work out the BMI of primary school children and some of the attitudes were shocking. So many believed it was nobody else's business Sad

QuintessentialShadows · 21/02/2011 12:21

I am not saying that fat is funny. Only that a 17 year old should be able to make her own food and go for walks.

I would however question a programme that offered no follow up and "after care", and not tackled the whole situation, ie her family rather than just the girl herself.

BluddyMoFo · 21/02/2011 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer · 21/02/2011 12:29

"Can't afford the gym" - the gym must cost less than the amount of food it takes to put on 15 stone. But of course cost is not the real reason, she'd have gone if she had someone to encourage her.

There has been a lot of money thrown at this girl's problem, to get flashy short-term results, but zero support for her when the programme finished.

What a shame. Sad Poor girl.

mamatomany · 21/02/2011 12:35

She should have been taken into care, cheaper than a 9 month jolly to the USA.
I predict that will happen more and more, it's child abuse isn't it ?

MissJanuary · 21/02/2011 13:00

Sorry no sympathy for her either, she and the mother need a kick up the arse.

Exercise is free, she just needs to get off her ass and get out the front door.

The mother should be given food coupons instead of benefits cash for healthy foods only.

BuzzLiteBeer · 21/02/2011 13:08

You don't get taken into care at 17.

mamatomany · 21/02/2011 13:15

Perhaps if she have been taken into care at 15 she wouldn't have put on another 7 though ?

NoSuchThingAsSociety · 21/02/2011 13:16

I have a very rare eating disorder - bulimia combined with amnesia.

I completely stuff my face and then forget to throw up...

Grin
ccpccp · 21/02/2011 13:18

She has zero willpower and we shouldnt waste any more money on her. She got a chance few people get and she squandered it.

Why do such fat ba5tards always have so many excuses? Put the fuking fork down!

thenightsky · 21/02/2011 13:22

Poor lass Sad

If she'd come and live with me I'd have her weight down. I live 9 miles from food shops and there are no buses.

Annpan88 · 21/02/2011 13:24

I think expecting 9 months to cancel out 17 years of bad habits is a bit optimistic, especially if the girl was to go back to a completely unsupportive enviroment.

EmmaBGoode · 21/02/2011 13:27

I read she has been her mums main carer since she was 10...it sounds like it suits her mum to have her stuck home and fat.

I think you are right there, BluddyMoFo.

chipmonkey · 21/02/2011 13:27

The mind boggles! Who on earth thought it was a good idea to send that girl off to the US? Why not get someone INTO the home and educate them there on the spot! Preparing healthy food is not difficult, all you need are a few pointers in the right direction. And you don't need a gym, just walk or jog!

Eating fatty food is addictive to some people. There was no point in removing her from the destructive environment and then putting her straight back in.

I knew a mother like this. Her son ended up bulimic and her daughter, now in her thirties is still stuck at home with her now. Very sad.Sad

BalloonSlayer · 21/02/2011 13:28

"She has zero willpower and we shouldnt waste any more money on her. She got a chance few people get and she squandered it.

"Why do such fat ba5tards always have so many excuses? Put the fuking fork down!"

Gosh ccpccp you're full of compassion, aren't you? It's called an Eating Disorder and it's not a nice thing to have, believe it or not.

OTTMummA · 21/02/2011 13:29

She didn't squander it though did she!
She lost 15 st in nine months on the US programme, she did very well, but like with any other addiction you need ongoing help and support.
Her mother has clearly done nothing to help her daughter, at all, and it is probably her who caused the addiction in the first place.

Your daughter comes back from America and has achieved a 15st weight loss and the first thing you do is get fish and chips for her dinner! even if it was an innocent incident that seems very demeaning to me of the daughters acomplishments.

This girl has an addiction, but has shown she can conquer it, away from her mother, maybe thats what should be changed, but then again at 17 and a full time carer for her mother i am sure there is a lot of guilt and pshycological problems hindering this action taking place.

I find it very sad.
ccpccp, you are utterly vile btw, why don't you just leave the thread if you have nothing constructive or of value to say.

EmmaBGoode · 21/02/2011 13:32

Maybe she should be offered a Gastric Band. I know two women who have had these - the first lost shitloads of weight, the second one had the op in November, and is doing really well.

She could also be offered cosmetic surgery to get rid of the excess skin.

That is the least the government could do for her after all the money she's saved them by being her mum's carer for the last 7 years.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/02/2011 13:38

It is very sad, the girl was so motivated when she was taken out of her surroundings and given new challenges.

I have to wonder though at the lack of aftercare? Surely, there is enough experience within the NHS to realise that if the inherent problem with overeating isn't addressed, it's going to be there, lurking in the background, and given the 'right' adverse conditions, will trigger the same old destructive eating.

It's not a question of blame, it's a question of what is going to be done to get this girl (a minor) back on track so that she has a chance of life in the future.

GypsyMoth · 21/02/2011 13:40

Clearly the mothers at fault here

And yes I agree it IS abuse, but at 17 social services will be limited in enforcing anything. And as her mothers 'carer' who looked after the mum while the girl was I the states for 9 months?

GKlimt · 21/02/2011 13:42

Maybe I've not read this properly but wasn't this young woman only 15 when she returned from the US 'fat camp' Not 17?

I think that makes a big difference.

CarmenSternwood · 21/02/2011 13:44

The mother is clearly an idiot and a bad influence, but at 17 this person has the power to change her life entirely. Exercise needn't mean joining an expensive gym and it is, contrary to all the myths, cheaper to eat a vegetable-packed, healthy diet than to rely on vast quantities of junk food. The story is depressing but I find it as depressing how little responsibility some people are willing to take for their lives.

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