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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For this to make me so angry - obese teenager, todays Daily Telegraph

238 replies

foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 11:37

link

Basically, she was funded by her local health board to attend a programme in the USA at a cost of over £4k a month for a 9 month period....

"She said: "I'd been following a programme of healthy eating in the camp where I'd been living in North Carolina, America, and I'd learned to enjoy low-fat foods like salads, bagels, yoghurt and even buffalo meat. "I was really looking forward to trying it all out back home but, when I arrived, my mum said she hadn't had time to prepare any healthy food so we had fish and chips instead.

"From that moment on, I had a niggling feeling that things weren't going to work out."

OP posts:
mamatomany · 21/02/2011 13:45

Sugar is as addictive as alcohol, I know after I'd had my baby I had to literally wean myself off the packet of chocolate hobnobs per day I was eating, however to put it into perspective as to how much this girl was eating, I would have a family sized bar of fruit and nut and a packet of milk chocolate hobnobs PER DAY and when I stopped eating that I lost two stone in 2 months, so it doesn't need to be a huge amount of food to pile the pounds on, just the wrong food.

Niceguy2 · 21/02/2011 13:56

Her mother is mainly to blame for being lazy and never introducing healthy choices and lifestyle to her child.

But now the girl is 17, the excuse that her mum gave her fish & chips is a bit weak.

plupedantic · 21/02/2011 13:57

That's such a crap article: so short they might as well not have bothered.

Poor kid, with such a mother.

And it drives me MAD, that people think good food is expensive. Processed food, takeaways and microwaveable meals are all miles more expensive. But it suits some to have good food seem more expensive: that way, it can be elitist to eat well.

Fish and chips for a homecoming dinner, let alone for someone who's lost a lot of weight. FFS.

BalloonSlayer · 21/02/2011 14:02

I read on one of the linked articles that her stay at the Academy was funded by the Academy itself (ie free) and her family had decided to send her there rather than somewhere in the UK.

The Academy said she needed to stay another year, or she would go back to her old habits and put all the weight back on.

The Local Health Board refused to finance the second year. A spokesperson said:

"We would like to reassure Georgia and her family that should Georgia return to Rhondda Cynon Taff, we will assess her healthcare needs at that time and ensure that measures are put in place to help her maintain her excellent progress."

Yeah so they did that really REALLY well, didn't they?

HowAnnoying · 21/02/2011 14:02

the dreaded Sun has a longer interview with her here

I think she has been let down by the NHS and more importantly her own mother.

A person was prosecuted for allowing a DOG to become obese, why isn't something done about parents who feed their child huge amounts of crap. She was 33stone when she was 15 so it can only be down to her mother.

TheCrackFox · 21/02/2011 14:07

It seems to me that the best thing this girl could do for her own health and sanity is to move out and get a place of her own.

She weighed 33 stone at the age of 15 and I absolutely blame her mother for this. The mother has actively sought to make her daughter fat and miserable and I would class this as abuse. Jeez, it is hard enough being 15yrs old without having to lose over 20 stone in weight.

I wouldn't normally suggest this but it might be time for her think of having a gastric band fitted. Her mental problems might be so great, after years of abuse, that she might need to have some physical barrier in place to stop her over-eating.

FioFio · 21/02/2011 14:11

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new2cm · 21/02/2011 14:14

YANBU.

Sad

She needs help. Yes, it is her fault for getting that big but without wishing to start another heated debate (as in another thread), I really think that friends and family ought to do more to help her loose weight.

I put on weight as a result of giving birth to 3 children within 6 years, but thank the Lord, my family and friends are helping me all the way to my being soon to be (with any luck) 9 stone.

I feel extremely lucky, so my Sad for people who obviously do not have the kind of supportive network that I have.

Unwind · 21/02/2011 14:20

It is the mother's fault and, to an extent, the girl's own choice. At 17, having been trained in preparation of healthy food, there is no excuse. She could have kept walking, she could have stood up to her mother.

Original poster
foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 14:24

I agree about being taken into care & given membership to a gym, it would have been cheaper than the fat camp in the USA and with the right family would have been just as good, perhaps better as it would have been real family life not a contrived camp situation.

I am sad for her (the girl) and angry with the parents as its neglect/abuse.

OP posts:
ddubsgirl · 21/02/2011 14:25

if at home at 17 how can she buy her own food?her mother buys it and if she wont buy the right food what can the girl do?at that i kind of weight i doubt she can move about too much,if she moves out where does she go?housing wont home her,she would be on the street.

lospolloshermanos · 21/02/2011 14:26

a tough one, at 17 should really be able to cook for herself, but the current state of the lasses health would seem that maybe she hasn't been shown as her mother chose convinience foods, parents can have a bigger impact than they think.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/02/2011 14:26

I feel sorry for that girl, and think that the responsibility lies with the mother.

However I think that there is probably a mutually dependent relationship going on - the child has lived with overeating her entire life, she cares for her mother, probably doesn't want to risk arguing with her as she is ill. The mother probably has mental difficulties herself from overfeeding her daughter so much when she was a child, for various reasons of her own (probably didn't want her daughter to grow up and move out).

I think it is very very sad, and the only way forward for the poor girl would be to move out permanently, with support. But I don't think that is ever going to happen. Poor kid has effectively been given a life sentence.

I think it is very easy to say 'she is 17, she can feed herself' but I don't think it is that easy. For one presumably she has no money of her own, so cannot but healthy food. And her mother is probably a pernicious influence 'oh no let's just treat ourselves to a pizza', and it is possibly very difficult for a girl with a tendency to overeat to resist the constant cruel temptation.

God knows what the solution is, the sad thing is that there probably isn't one.

ddubsgirl · 21/02/2011 14:27

also gym is ok but most machines at gym cant hold that kind of weight,stuck between a rock & a hard place,ss def need to get in there and help but just be awful when parents wont help,same with a boy on tv,he had the op and yet his mum was still feeding him crap and he wasnt losing the weight.

PedlarsSockpuppet · 21/02/2011 14:28

Unwind, she has been her mother's main carer since age 10

What a responsibility for a child Sad

We all know how easy it is to neglect ourselves when juggling children/work, imagine how hard it must be for the girl to juggle caring and schoolwork, without the benefit of the wisdom that comes with experience and age

have some compassion, folks

TurkeyBurgerThing · 21/02/2011 14:31

I don't blame the child. There is no way she's got to that size overnight is there? This has been going on for years and she won't know any different.

She's been failed by those who should have been caring for her. Be it her parents, Social Services or the man in the moon. Her getting to that size is completely inexscusable.

FioFio · 21/02/2011 14:31

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OTTMummA · 21/02/2011 14:35

Unwind, there are a lot of 'grown' women on this forum who create threads which show they still can not stand up to their parents about personal issues, and they don't live with them or care for them.
It is VERY easy to say at 17 she can cook and buy her own food, when infact her mother probably hinders any attempt to get the right food for her and her daughter.

I want to go get her and take her away from such a toxic environment Sad

Undertone · 21/02/2011 14:38

Also a bit Confused at lack of compassion on here.

Be angry at the people who were responsible for this child, not the child itself. She sounds very immature - so saying things like 'oh - she should just pop down the shops for some lettuce, ffs what is wrong with her?' is missing the point, surely?

Is there a sliding scale of fatty antipathy on here?

Anything over BMI 40 = "A BLOODY DISGRACE. PUT THEM IN THE DUNGEON"

Ranging down to BMI 28-39 = "Just put the bun down, love."

Or what?

Unwind · 21/02/2011 14:41

true - but that level of weight gain (IIRC 22 stone) is not just from eating the wrong kind of food, it is eating vast, vast quantities of it. It would cost a great deal of money, and take a lot of time.

I do have sympathy for this girl, but she is 17, it is time for her to take responsibility for herself. At that age I was living entirely independently of my parents, and I had never, ever been shown how to prepare food. I lived on horrible junk, but not in vast quantities.

FioFio · 21/02/2011 14:43

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BuzzLiteBeer · 21/02/2011 14:43

If the problem is in her home, why did they spend so much money sending her to fat camp in america for 9 months instead of removing her from her home and getting her a gastric band and some serious therapy?

mumbar · 21/02/2011 14:44

I think the money should be used to educate and help both the mother and her DD.

I agree she is too realient on her mother for a 17yo and vise versa as shes the main carer for her mum.

VERY VERY Sad

TheCrackFox · 21/02/2011 14:44

I think she is seriously addicted to food, she must be eating all day. It has got way beyond the stage of her taking responsibility for herself. She needs some kind of professional intervention.

LadyOfTheManor · 21/02/2011 14:44

The majority of you say "she's just a child blah blah blah".

What will you say when she's 18? "She's just an obese adult who should diet".

I don't see how the tax payers are responsible for fat people losing weight.

Go to the gym and stop eating the wrong foods. Why do fat people with "eating disorders" always eat burgers and chips and don't ever crave salads?

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