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Original poster

For this to make me so angry - obese teenager, todays Daily Telegraph

238 replies

foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 11:37

link

Basically, she was funded by her local health board to attend a programme in the USA at a cost of over £4k a month for a 9 month period....

"She said: "I'd been following a programme of healthy eating in the camp where I'd been living in North Carolina, America, and I'd learned to enjoy low-fat foods like salads, bagels, yoghurt and even buffalo meat. "I was really looking forward to trying it all out back home but, when I arrived, my mum said she hadn't had time to prepare any healthy food so we had fish and chips instead.

"From that moment on, I had a niggling feeling that things weren't going to work out."

OP posts:
HHLimbo · 21/02/2011 15:23

Unwind - She made the most of the US opportunity - she lost 15 stone in 9 months!! That is very impressive and does not happen without serious commitment and hard work.

It is apparent that coming back to a situation with a lack of access to exercise, lack of access to healthy foods and lack of support from any source, is the obvious cause of the problem.

FioFio · 21/02/2011 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

Acanthus · 21/02/2011 15:25

Looking at the news reports, her mum put condensed milk in her bottle as a baby, so we can assume she was overweight then. She was 33st at 15yo. I wonder what involvement SS had and why she wasn't taken out of the home when she was younger. Is it because so many say that we shouldn't judge fat people? It seems like neglect to me - failure to meet her physical needs.

Acanthus · 21/02/2011 15:26

I don't think losing the weight in America would have taken "serious commitment and hard work". At that level of obesity the weight would come off very quickly once her eating was restricted, which the staff would obviously have done.

LilyBolero · 21/02/2011 15:27

In the Sun article she sounds very very depressed, poor girl. Sad

Rannaldini · 21/02/2011 15:29

I feel incredibly sorry for this poor child and any child in these circs

She isn't in charge of the family finances
doesn't do the shopping
doesn't have an allowance for gym membership
everything is stacked against her losing weight

clearly her mother doesn't understand that her environment is part of the problem
or maybe she does but doesn't know what to do

the girl needs to be in weekly cognitive therapy relating to her eating disorder
she should have been since her return to the uk

it's more about learning how to deal with the reasons why she eats and learning to make the right choices to nourish herself and exercise her body
it's not a diet but a life

anyone who finds it appropriate to be cruel about the morbid obesity of a teenage girl should be completely ashamed of themselves

HHLimbo · 21/02/2011 15:35

Lady - in Britain, it is cold outside in winter. Sometimes it even snows!

Also, you might be interested to know that the pope is a catholic. Also, bears do not use public toilets.

Acanthus - you are right that it is really easy to lose weight in America, that is why they have no obesity problems. Oh, no wait..
Hmm

You should be ashamed of your cruel, nasty stupid views.

Unwind · 21/02/2011 15:36

lack of access to exercise facilities and healthy food is a red herring

she does have time - the article says she stays in bed till 10 am and then watches tv for an hour

she is blaming everyone but herself for her condition - facilitating that lack of responsibility does her no favours, she is not a child anymore

HHLimbo · 21/02/2011 15:38

^ Let them eat cake the grass.

LadyOfTheManor · 21/02/2011 16:07

Unwind Mon 21-Feb-11 15:36:50
lack of access to exercise facilities and healthy food is a red herring

she does have time - the article says she stays in bed till 10 am and then watches tv for an hour

she is blaming everyone but herself for her condition - facilitating that lack of responsibility does her no favours, she is not a child anymore

Well said Unwind

BalloonSlayer · 21/02/2011 16:20

What I found saddest was the bit in the Sun article where she had hoped to meet a boyfriend when she had lost weight. Sad

corns12k · 21/02/2011 16:21

The ignorance and lack of empathy some posters have shown on this thread is shocking

HHLimbo · 21/02/2011 16:28

She looked great after she lost that weight - and happy too. Then she was just dumped back into eactly the same situation, with exactly the same outcome :(

BuzzLiteBeer · 21/02/2011 16:29

But there is a lot of misdirection too. If she was a full time carer, how did they manage without her for 9 months? If she is the full time carer surely she is doing the shopping and could have changed what was bought?

Its easy to see that there was always something very wrong in this family, which is where the problems came from. But 9 months is a long time when you are a teenager, and I refuse to believe that the instant she got back she was force fed fish and chips until she put on over 15 stone.

I'm not saying its her own fault and I'm not saying she doesn't need help, what I'm saying is that at some stage she will need to take responsibility for herself. The first step to changing is doing just that.

Topspin · 21/02/2011 16:31

This poor girl sounds depressed and is struggling with lack of family support.

As a mum of a 17yo, I'd say that some kids of this age are self-sufficient and very grown up, while others are still children. As with younger children, rates of development vary. A child doesn't suddenly become an adult, with an adult's experience of problem-solving, on their 17th, 18th or 19th birthday. A child who is caring for a seemingly toxic parent may not have the opportunities to develop the kind of self-sufficiency or life skills some posters are suggesting this young girl should have.

Very sad, and blaming this child won't help. Maybe some kind of support structure to help her reconnect with the enthusiasm for a healthier lifestyle she had when she returned to the UK would, though.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 21/02/2011 16:34

I don't think they should have sent this lass to the fat camp.
I think they should have sent the MOTHER!!

I feel so sorry for the poor girl, she did all that work and did so well only for her mother to sabotage it. And it may not be easy for her to just cook up at healthy meal in her house if her mother puts barriers in her way.

Hopefully she can get away and find a place of her own and starting living her life again.

HHLimbo · 21/02/2011 16:42

I agree Topspin, sounds like she would really benefit from a support structure in the UK, her family is obviously unable to provide this.
Blaming/castigating the mother does not offer any solution to the problem.

Original poster
foreverondiet · 21/02/2011 16:48

Was also going to say that my sister was overweight as a teenager (not obese though) - my mum cooked healthy food but always offered seconds and also there were always crisps, chocolate & biscuits around.

My sister aged 14 just decided to loose the weight and lost it over a few months just eating fat free natural yoghurts, apples and all bran (3 of each a day, ie pot of natural yoghurt with all bran plus an apple).

But that needed a huge amount of self control (and no cooking or shopping on her behalf) - my parents were not that keen on her diet but wanted her to loose the weight - she is a very all or nothing person and that was the way she wanted to do it.

I still maintain it was the parents fault, just as I would say my mum was wrong in buying crisps when one of her children was overweight.

OP posts:
duchesse · 21/02/2011 16:49

I don't think it's any coincidence that she lost the weight and regained self-esteem once she away from her draining mother (saw the documentary about her at 15), able to behave like a normal teenager, have fun and laugh. Nor do I find it surprising that she has regained all the weight lost once she returns to the life that is clearly making her so very unhappy. I hope she manages to find her own way in the world soon and sheds the weight again.

HHLimbo · 21/02/2011 16:51

Buzzlight - she wasnt forcefed fish and chips, but I understand this is the most readily available food where she lives. Junk food is the norm in their neighbourhood, and access to fresh fruit and veg can be very difficult without a car to get to out of town supermarkets.

BuzzLiteBeer · 21/02/2011 16:54

I'm sure it is, but surely the 9 months in the camp taught her something about food?

FabbyChic · 21/02/2011 17:00

Sounds like a considerably selfish mother.

SheikYerbouti · 21/02/2011 17:03

I feel utterly depressed after reading this thread. Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

I guess it's OK to JUDGE her as you are because she is fat.

Pathetic.

BooBooGlass · 21/02/2011 17:07

You think you need a car to access fruit and veg? Bollocks. I don't drive and cart bagloads of the stuff back home from town, on foot. I really don't think lack of a car is the problem here

BuzzLiteBeer · 21/02/2011 17:08

she's in the paper again talking about being fat. Is she immune to judging because she is fat? Isn't judging the MN speciality?