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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

crisps at a child's party?

153 replies

macdoodle · 20/02/2011 21:59

I may very well be being a bit precious, I can take it.
Went to a friends childs 3rd party today, in a hall with bouncy castle and lunch.
Had DD1 (age 9) and DD2 (age 3).
Get there, all running around having fun, food about 10 mins from coming out (according to mum).
When another mum produces a bag of crisps and gives it to her daughter, who doesnt just sit quietly and eat it, but runs around flourishing a large bag of pom bears (yes really).
My DD2 comes to sit with me crying, she wants crisps, and I can feel a tantrum brewing, she is most likely hungry, tired and run ragged now. But would have been fine to wait for party food if another child hadn't been eating a bag of crisps. Said child also refused to share a single crisp.
Had to be very firm with DD2, and food arrived just in time.

Now I am not sure, it all seemed a bit unneccesary as the food was on its way, she wasnt going to starve (she has no medical problems I know mum well, she is also 3), and a few were upset wanting crisps.
On the other hand she has every right to feed her child what she wants when she wants. Just a bit thoughtless, and I guess I'm annoyed because it upset mine.

OP posts:
NorthernGobshite · 20/02/2011 22:34

They give my dd the shits too - they have lactose in them.
Maybe the child at the party was constipated and Mum was trying to get things moving?!

vanimal · 20/02/2011 22:35

YANBU - mum was rude to hand out crisps and then not encourage her selfish child to at least share them.

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 20/02/2011 22:35

Well I think it's weird that the crisp mum is a good friend of yours so presumably the kids know each other, yet there was no sharing or request to share the pRemature snack. Just wouldn't happen with anyone I know.

BeerTricksPotter · 20/02/2011 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmethwickBelle · 20/02/2011 22:38

I keep a packet of something tasty in the bag for DS1 (3.5)- could be raisins, oaty bars, packet of crisps. If I was at a party and the food was slow to materialise I'd probably crack them open for him and at that age I wouldn't be worrying whether the other 3 year old's were looking.

In a year or two he'll have to wait until the party food comes out but at this stage I'll indulge him if he has been running around and hanging by a thread.

Original poster
macdoodle · 20/02/2011 22:40

Thank you for the sympathy, yes I am a bit down, its hard being a working LP with 2 little ones, and DD2 has just seemed to register her dad is not around or live with us like other families. Though FWIW, he has not lived with us since she was born.

This thread however was truly about crisps (pom bear ones to be exact) Grin It was the get a grip comments about your daughter having to be upset about much more important things, as if she was some precious, cushioned little miss, that upset me, as yes indeed she has more important things to be upset about.

I always take snacks out with me, but not to a fecking party where party food will be fed, it was only 2 hours from start to finish so unlikely to be long before food arrived.
It really was done in such a thoughtless, inconsiderate way, I wondered whether I was not getting it. My DD1 is almost 10, we have done many many parties, I have never seen this before, it caused unneccesary upset. She could have at least sat her quietly on a chair to eat them, rather than run up to every other child there flourishing them and refusing to share, I think mum made her give my DD2 ONE crips before she ran off grasping them to her chest.

Anyway, all settled DD2 sound asleep worn out, dreaming of pom bears no doubt Grin Am sure I am thinking about it more than she did!

OP posts:
poochela · 20/02/2011 22:41

who new pom bears could be so incendiary? Blimey, I'm new round here and clearly have got a LOT to learn.

Bear
aviatrix · 20/02/2011 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorthernGobshite · 20/02/2011 22:43

Glad you still have your sense of humour macdoodle. Sorry things are shite at the moment; sounds like you're better of without ex anyway, but I know that doesn't make things easier.

Now go have some Bear and Wine!

Original poster
macdoodle · 20/02/2011 22:43

We are all quite good friends, and take the kids swimming or to one or other houses most weeks, so was surprised that (a) she took it out and (b) she didnt make her share.
I did have some raisins in the bottom of my bag and abroken snack bar, funnily enough DD2 didnt want either of them :)

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 20/02/2011 22:44

Goodness I am emotional tonight, am blubbing about macdoodle's DD :( Poor lamb.

poochela · 20/02/2011 22:45

and I need to get my timing right too.

Blush
bupcakesandcunting · 20/02/2011 22:45

Ps some mums got crabby with me and DS at soft play when he got his bag of skag out of his tuckbox and didn't share so can empathise with Pom Bear mum

Original poster
macdoodle · 20/02/2011 22:45

Am drinking wine now :) Have not a single pom bear in the house Grin, toast and cheese instead I think !
Am premenstrual as well, so perhaps I became irrationally, hormonally pissed off by a bag of crisps!

OP posts:
simpson · 20/02/2011 22:48

My DD is also 3 and would be upset if she saw another child eating crisps and would kick off and want some too Blush

(she also is coming to terms with not living with her dad, he left 2yrs ago)

But I do normally take food for her to partis due to serious intolerances etc but always wait till everyone else eats iyswim.

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 20/02/2011 22:49

It really annoys me when parents think that other parents should base all their parenting decisions around whether or not it might upset their kids. It doesn't do a child any harm to learn they can't have what they want. You should have moved your DD away from the child with the crisps or simply told her that she couldn't have any until the party food came out.

pinkfluffyprincess · 20/02/2011 22:50

Cunting WTF is wrong with you Shock You're a right caaaaa usually

simpson · 20/02/2011 22:50

enjoy your Wine Grin

bupcakesandcunting · 20/02/2011 22:52

I'm only a caaaah to the deserving.

You silly twat Wink

Original poster
macdoodle · 20/02/2011 22:55

Umm whiteelephant, I did not expect her to base her parenting on mine, if she gives crisps 10 minutes before lunch thats her call. It was the way and place it was done, when no doubt it was going to cause upset.

I was very calm with DD2 and told her exactly that, that she could not have any, they weren't hers, and lunch was on its way, I then ignored the very sad, soggy, tear stained crying :(
No way to remove her, hall small, and child kept running around brandishing said packet in plain site. Would have had to remove her outside room completely, didn't feel she actually needed punishing.

OP posts:
MrsRhettButler · 20/02/2011 22:56

fwiw i should have said this earlier but the mum should have encouraged her dd to share! i certainly would...

have another Wine on me macdoodle i'm not really a hard cow Blush

Original poster
macdoodle · 20/02/2011 22:57

white elephant, what do you think I did do ?? Run around screaming and wringing my hands Hmm

OP posts:
MrsRhettButler · 20/02/2011 22:57

in fact if my dd wouldn't share i would take the crisps back off her..

Grin
rachy82 · 20/02/2011 23:04

Who takes crisps to a party? And only one bag for her child only!! I certainly wouldn't be inviting her again!! Every one loves pom-pom bears, what a bitch to torture the other kids like that.

Sorry , bit harsh but thats how it is!!

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/02/2011 23:05

YANBU - the mother should have had the child wait for 10 minutes until the party food came out. The child wasn't going to suffer. Plus it is rude to the host, and rude to the other mothers of 3 year olds who were going to start mithering.

Sorry you are feeling down Mac.