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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

crisps at a child's party?

153 replies

macdoodle · 20/02/2011 21:59

I may very well be being a bit precious, I can take it.
Went to a friends childs 3rd party today, in a hall with bouncy castle and lunch.
Had DD1 (age 9) and DD2 (age 3).
Get there, all running around having fun, food about 10 mins from coming out (according to mum).
When another mum produces a bag of crisps and gives it to her daughter, who doesnt just sit quietly and eat it, but runs around flourishing a large bag of pom bears (yes really).
My DD2 comes to sit with me crying, she wants crisps, and I can feel a tantrum brewing, she is most likely hungry, tired and run ragged now. But would have been fine to wait for party food if another child hadn't been eating a bag of crisps. Said child also refused to share a single crisp.
Had to be very firm with DD2, and food arrived just in time.

Now I am not sure, it all seemed a bit unneccesary as the food was on its way, she wasnt going to starve (she has no medical problems I know mum well, she is also 3), and a few were upset wanting crisps.
On the other hand she has every right to feed her child what she wants when she wants. Just a bit thoughtless, and I guess I'm annoyed because it upset mine.

OP posts:

GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 22:09

YANBU

I would have rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath in a 'gee thanks you fucking eejit' way. But then I'd have forgotten about it.

Onetoomanycornettos · 20/02/2011 22:09

I am with you on this one, very rude to get something out that can't be shared, just before food when everyone was hungry, of course lots of children were going to see them and want them (and then cry). And I disagree that you should have brought your own snacks to a birthday party!

SpringHeeledJack · 20/02/2011 22:09

I used to beg for crisps at school

[wholefood parents]

if I was ever lucky enough to get one, I would make it last all break by sucking it

as a result I am scarred for life

OP- YANBU

EvilTwins · 20/02/2011 22:09

"ok IABU fine.
As to my DD2 learning to be upset you're a bunch of hard cows, she wakes up in the mornings crying because her dad's not here, so she knows what true upset is. Tears over a bag of crisps is normal I guess but maybe I should have told her to rather be upset that some kids had their dads there?"

I guess this isn't really about crisps then?

In the matter of crisps, yes, YABU. I always take snacks when I'm going out with my DTDs. How was the mother to know that lunch was on its way? And how do you know what else that child had eaten that day?

Sorry, but you can't expect everyone else to avoid doing things in case it upsets you and/or your DD?

chipmonkey · 20/02/2011 22:10

macdoodle, have a

Actually, fuck that, have a !

Newgolddream · 20/02/2011 22:10

Im with chipmonkey - I was about to say its crips ffs lol. But to me, in all years of trailing enthusiastically taking my 3 boys to childrens parties I have never seen a Mum whipping out their own food. Obviously said Mum wasnt entirely confident about the level of catering at party lol.

Original poster

macdoodle · 20/02/2011 22:10

okey okey IAMBU, but really crisps at a 2hour party, how long is the food going to be?? Mine would have been fine had the crisps not been raced round the whole play area. Just seemed odd to me. A bag of crisps 10 minutes before lunch of which she didnt eat much, no surprise there then!

OP posts:

Trebuchet · 20/02/2011 22:10

Rhett not being a hard cow. tis right, its only being told no fgs, whether dad is around or not she will still need to be told no occaisionally.

This is not about crisps clearl;y. If you are this sad and upset go onto another thrread and ask for advice/help/a shoulder to cry on. You'll get more help and sympathy than posting on here

caffelatte · 20/02/2011 22:10

Goodness me! Maybe your OP should have come with the backstory then? Oh and please don't tell me, or anyone else, exactly how many words we may write in answering a post. Could you do that please? Thanks everso.

Carrotsandcelery · 20/02/2011 22:10

The mother was at least rude to the host - it is very odd to bring your own food to a party unless there are specific dietary requirements.

She was also rude not to encourage her child to share when she was eating and others weren't.
She has therefore taught her own child bad manners on two counts.
You however have taught your child to wait until she is served and not to cause a massive fuss if she is not getting her own way - a hard lesson at that age but one worth learning.
It is not earth shattering but we live in our world and if it is upsetting then it is upsetting. It is never easy to encourage good behaviour when things become excited like this at a party and noone needs someone rude and inconsiderate making it harder for anyone else.

BringOnTheGoat · 20/02/2011 22:10

Odd to take own food to a party - would have made my DD wait for the food like all the others. If DD did have crisps would have made her share. YANBU to think it was unneccesary. YWBU to think it was a big deal but as you CLEARLY don't, I am at the 'not earth shattering' type comments!

usualsuspect · 20/02/2011 22:11

I read the thread title in a Peter Kay stylee

SpringHeeledJack · 20/02/2011 22:11

...you're right, tho, it's rude as fuck to bring your own food to a kids' party, unless there's special food requirements

also the Rule is: if child has share-y food in front of other kids who don't, they have to hand em out

Trebuchet · 20/02/2011 22:11

Chip-I hope thats not a pom bear

backwardpossom · 20/02/2011 22:12

Maybe the mum took her own because she knew her DD was going to be hungry and she didn't want her to go into complete meltdown?

I think YABU just because of your reaction - I'd have treated it as an opportunity to try and teach DS that he can't always get what he wants.

Tangle · 20/02/2011 22:12

I'm going to go against the grain.

YANBU.

I'd consider it rude to take my own food to a party and eat in front of everyone else while they had nothing to eat, and I'd consider it rude to take food for my DD to another child's party and let her eat it in front of everyone else while they had nothing to eat. What happened to "did you bring enough for everyone to share?" And that's before getting the started on the whole issue of running around with a bag of crips...

IMO it was thoughtless and inconsiderate. By pandering to her own DD (who would only have had to wait a few minutes, like everyone else had to do) the mother made it a lot harder for everyone else in the room with hungry children.

No, its not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But that doesn't make it less rude.

caughtinanet · 20/02/2011 22:12

Surely we've all had to deal with 3yo who doesn't understand why she can't have crips when another child has them, why are you giving the OP a hard time?

She's allowed to be pissed off at the other mother and she's allowed to come on here and vent about it.

macdoodle - the other mum sounds a bit thoughtless, hope your DD enjoyed the rest of the party.

chipmonkey · 20/02/2011 22:12

EvilTwins, it was a party. Surely the Mum might have guessed that crap food was on it's way? I bring snacks if going shopping or on a long journey but not to a party!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 20/02/2011 22:12

ladyblahblah fucking hilarious

poochela · 20/02/2011 22:14

are pom bears really bad then?

NorthernGobshite · 20/02/2011 22:14

I can see no problem with a mother giving her child a bag of crisps. I must remember to carry snacks to feed small army in case I should offend anyone in future by not having enough for their child

GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 22:15

Thank you NorthernGobshite, that's all we ask :o

tomhardyismydh · 20/02/2011 22:16

I did too usual made me chuckle.

NorthernGobshite · 20/02/2011 22:16

greeneyes

tomhardyismydh · 20/02/2011 22:18

maybe other little girl with the crisps daddy left and mum was over compensating!!

just saying, like!!

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