To not even consider breastfeeding

[Ilovemybreasts]

Currently pregnant with no 2, breastfed no 1 to around six months and HATED the experience so not keen to repeat it for several reasons.

1)Felt like a big, leaky, highly uncomfortable cow for the whole time and could not wait to have my body back.

2. Have seen the physical effects of breast feeding two children on several of my friends and it ain't pretty. My breasts are large and have only just recovered from the first feeding frenzy. Two shirt-spaced cycles of constant swelling and shrinking would not be good for their wellbeing! Although my body has borne children I still like to look and feel attractive; being a mother is not my whole identity and not an excuse to let my health and image fall by the wayside.

3. Hours spent pumping and clusterfeeding and mucking about led to a very tired and stressed out me and this time I will have a toddler also needing my time and attention.

4. The many benefits of breastfeeding are not entirely obvious to me. Dc1 still gets ill and picks up bugs as much as several other children we know who were exclusively ff.

5. I became a complete bf bore, bleating on to everyone about it and it's benefits. I swear it took over my life when I should have just been enjoying my baby.

Flame away. Convince me otherwise. Am I likely to be judged for this in real life?

bubbly- I think you are right re lack of support. Many maternity units and midwives are too harried and stressed to be able to expend the time and energy required to guide mothers through the early problems. The pressure to discharge early babies who are feeding well may drive some units to subconsciously the peace of mind of formula feeding (ie the known quantities going in) and may subconsciously cause them to subtly undermine breastfeeding through early problems.

"discharge early", not "early babies"!

I think you are right duchesse. There really is pressure to move mums out quickly and many are sent on their way with a sleepy baby who is still trying to recover from its birth and hasn't really tried to feed properly yet. The mum is at home with a new baby, totally exhausted and panicking because everything is so new and they aren't sure what to do and whether the baby is getting enough and is it normal for there not to be any milk for a couple of days, should it be painful, is the baby latched on right?... etc etc...

goodnight everybody, my morning (ha) sickness is making typing a little bit too hard...

Agree that there is lack of support for many

Oh no not another bf thread, thought we dispatched the last one long ago.

I think people are being fairly harsh on the OP. From looking through the site I think that there is a long history of bf vs ff debates but I don't think that's a reason to say that it doesn't matter and have a "who gives a shit what you do" attitude when someone asks about it. I think I understand the OP's worries regarding her reasons for not bf and her concers over what rl people will think of them. I bf my first for 6 months and my second for 3 months for similar reasons so personally I would not judge you OP.

Pigletmania and other similar posters... I can understand that the bf vs ff posts are not interesting to you if you have participated in many but then I think it would be better to not post at all rather than add posts suggesting that the post is pointless. It is not pointless to the OP

you dont need online strangers to opine how to feed your baby

this polarises people,and it is a mn perennial

inevitably someone will rock up and tell you what a bad mutha you are.inviting knock knees,eczema,boils,bunions,tennis elbow by feeding fish food to a baby

your make the call- you live with it

Feed your baby however you want to.

But please, please, don't mount a pre-emptive defence of your decision to others. (Friend of mine, fixing up bottle for newborn: "Oh, I tried to BF but just didn't have enough milk" ). I hadn't made any comment either way, and honestly could not care one way or the other. I felt very strongly about bfing mine - loved it - but ff is perfectly fine and that's not my baby, so I don't care!

If anyone is rude enough to ask why you're not BFing, say quite simply that you chose not to, no justifications, and then refuse to entertain follow-up questions.

Unless someone is honestly seeking your views on the matter, just do as you please and don't make a bfd of it.

do any pre-emtive speech you wish,but you dont need to justify your decision to anyone.

Soreeyes you are so right

If people don't like this thread or think it is pointless why bother posting on it? Just ignore those threads you don't like! Simple

Actually agree with scottish mummy - i may have an opinion on how babies are fed but women should just get on and do what they do.

And agree trailmix about these pre-emotive defences I hear - not having enough milk is rare and it's more likely that good milk supply has not been established, lak of support and knowledge of what to do so when some women use this line it makes me go very too - it takes time and hard work to eatablish supply, not a few days or even weeks

And for people who don't like this thread, don't contribute and go find threads you do like, thats what I do!

Who cares? Stupid reason about shape of breasts however....but up to you.

I had a dream that i was breastfeeding 2 dogs last night eeewwwww!

As you were....

i didnt BF my DS, my midwife when i was pregnant spoke to me about it, i just told her i plan to FF and im sticking to that, and that was it, it wasnt mentioned again! i think people do judge though, but im 100% happy with what i choose to do so i just ignore the bad comments, it dosent make you any less of a mum by choosing not to BF

Note to OP: Remember that many of the women on MN feel able to be opinionated and totally insensitive because of the anonymity and really need a good kick to remind them that we are all human with human failings!

In RL, womenfolk are generally kind and supportive at least to your face! Don't ask for the opinion of these harpies MNers again - I should just trust to your real life friends and to your own judgement!

What a foul load of b**ches the militant bf camp have shown themselves to be!

candleshoe, you speak for yourself, surely, as a MNer,

Yeah - but I am here to dispense soundly argued and sensitively given advice only!

Why don't you do it for the first few days, weeks, that way, the baby gets all the colostrum and antibodies. Once you have had enough switch to FF. Good luck to you, don't feel bad, I felt exactly the same as you.

Amazing that to have a passionate opinion on something that is so good for your baby makes you a b*ch in some peoples eyes! Well I am happy to be opinionated about something as important as bf, very happy!

Exactly Missy. Apparently the only acceptable opinion to have or express is that bf is 'good' but ff is 'fine'. Any more than that and you're accused of being militant and heaven forbid you should discuss any risks associated with ff - you may offend someone!

Not read whole thread (its quite predictble im sure) but i would say YANBU BUT my bet is that you'll breastfeed anyway - just a hunch.

If I was a real life friend of OP I wouldn't say a word to her face, but I would wonder why she'd gone on and on about BF with first and was now FF.
So in answer to her question, of course she will be judged, just not openly. I think that is why she has asked the online strangers first as her real friends won't necessarily say anything to her face.
She is clearly someone who worries about what others think or she wouldn't be so worried about the shape of her breasts, so maybe that will make her BF after all? Or maybe the desire to not let her breasts get worse will override?
OP - Since your breasts will already be full of milk when the baby comes it won't harm them, but will be very beneficial to the baby if for the first few days you do BF. The colustrum in the early days is sooooo important.